AIBU to change my daughters surname?

[EricNorthman]

Myself and my ex both decided to double barrel our surnames for our daughter before she was born (both individually long - along the lines of Middleton - Chadwell) Upon registering the birth he seemed shocked I was going through with it as he had thought Id give in and just go with his. I didnt because a) we weren't married and i kind of knew it would never happen b) he had other children from a previous marriage with solely his name and c) Im proud of my surname.

When our DD was born and people asked her name, he would tell them her full first and surname, followed by but it will only be Chadwell when she starts school! This really pissed me off as he had never discussed this with me.
I left him, and have been and will continue to raise her by myself. When asked her name she says x Middleton.

I know I need his permission. He will probably sulk but sign the forms if asked, but would I be unreasonable to suggest it?
Her surname has a hyphen in it so i believe that may complicate just dropping the hyphen without involving deed poll.

Sorry for the long post x

Just leave it as it is and change common usage to your surname and both on official documents.

Imagine to when she's a teenager and discovers you deliberately removed her father's name as you fell out with him.

The issue is between parents not the child. Let her decide to change it when she's older if she wants.

I agree with this. I was born before my parents’ divorce came through but after their awful separation. NC with father. My mum never spoke a bad word against him (would have been justified) and said my surname was my identity and I could choose what to do when I legally became an adult. At 18 + 3 days I changed it to my wonderful grandparents name.

I changed my dd name at age 7. I got married and she wanted new husbands surname. She wasn't in contact with her father so I changed it by common usage. The school, doctors etc changed it and when she was 16 she changed it herself by deed poll. Is her father involved in her life? I think if he is it's a bit different if he isn't I'd go ahead and change it.

Its crap isnt it? Hindsight is great, but im atleast grateful i did double barrel as i can use mine!

We havent actually fallen out, but I completely get your point.
When we do chat its very civil even friendly, its just not very often.
Common usage is the way I will choose to go though.

Probably a ridiculous question, but how do you actually change it by common usage? Are there forms etc?

Most places have an option to put a known by name. So when she starts nursery, school, joins a club or visits the doctors or dentist they use the known by name. She may have a different name officially, but over time most people will just know her as the name she is introduced by.

My DD knew all her names at just under age 3 and would recite them by heart.

I changed my daughters surname by deed poll. Didn't need fathers permission. Not sure if that is still the case. However you can call yourself whatever you want just need your given name for official documents like passport.

Once you have an officially document whilst she is young with the name you want to use on such as a passport then she will not need to spend a lifetime writing ‘previously known as ‘

I changed my surname when I was about 5 through step dad adopting me. I have never needed to use the ‘previously known as’ even when I emigrated (and that required a lot of checks and paperwork). As it was done when I was so young and I had years of official paperwork in my current name I never note it on a form. My current name is my name and always has been

at 3 I would just change it OP, before she starts school. You can do a change of name deed yourself

I used a known as name at school/college and now I’m having trouble as my school certs don’t match my passport. I am doing a professional qualification, and I need to prove my gcse/a level result, and the board are saying they are not my certs 😧