Why is he the favourite

[Emeraldrings]

DS is 3 in a couple of weeks time. He is very attached to DH and has been this way for nearly a year (so I don't think it's a phase). He's actually getting more attached if anything. Every time DH leaves the room he follows or cries. DS has very delayed speech but can say dada and his version of sisters names but will not say mum or any variation of it . I try not to show it but that really hurts.
He's at nursery with me (not in the same room)3.5 days a week but although he might show an interest in me at pick up it's pretty rare. Yet when we get home he's all over DH. I am glad they have such a close bond but I can't help feeling rejected.
He's a sweet little boy sometimes but he does hit me, not dad, even though we both discipline him the same way. He might cuddle me but as soon as DH walks in he doesn't want to know.
I do most of the caring side and play with him a lot more than DH (because I'm with him a little bit more) but he just seems so much happier with DH and I sometimes wonder if he'd actually notice if I wasn't here.
Just feels a bit shit.

It really can feel shit.

But it is just a phase, it’s such a common thing for kids to do and it really can go on for a while.

Make sure that he spends equal time doing fun things with you both, because otherwise what can happen is the favoured parent spends more fun time with the child and that reinforces the preference. Same with discipline. On the subject of that you both need to come down on him like a ton of bricks re hitting you. He is quite old enough to know not to. Talk to your DH about how you present a united front.

If you teach at his nursery then you really are the sea he swims in, whereas Dad goes away and comes back, so it’s exciting.

My son was a bit like this and wouldn’t say mum, I actually think he thought that me and him were the same person 😂

It feels shit, but it is really common in children around that age. It’s not because you have a boy, my daughter was the same at that age.

They grow out of it and become more even with their love and affection

It's the novelty. You are the constant.

Thanks. It makes sense and I try to see it as DS knows I'll be there for him whatever. DD1 was a daddy's girl too but not as bad. Luckily DD2 was a mummy's girl or I might have really thought I was doing something wrong.
I suppose after a day at work I just want a cuddle but am rejected in favour of DH. I keep telling myself it's a phase, just a very long one. Doesn't help that the start of the phase considered with upping my hours (although deep down I think favouring DH might have happened regardless).

He prefers your dh. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you. I wouldn't waste any time worrying about it.

My DS was 3 in april. He is the exact same... cries when dad leaves for work, but not mum.
I just try and think it's quite sweet really and he's so lucky to have an amazon dad, many we know don't.
He loves you just as much! We tend to spend more time with them, bathing them, feeding them etc and when dads home it's a bit of excitement. It hurts me too a little but honestly don't worry, doesn't mean he loves him more

I would try to let go of the ‘after work I just want a cuddle’ and ‘it makes me sad/I get rejected’ type attitude. I know it’s not easy, but I don’t think it’s a helpful attitude to come in with. I mean I’m sure your DD2 who is closer with you wasn’t ‘rejecting’ her dad even though he wanted a cuddle after a long day of work, was she? She was just going to her mum.

Just let him be comfortable. He’s with you most often, so he’s probably trying to soak up the most dad time he can as he knows it’s more limited. Ensure dad does lots of everyday things with him such as bath/bed/tidying toys and you’re not being left all the boring parenting while dad does all the fun stuff and becomes the ‘fun parent.’