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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how to deal with this?

3 replies

foreversolo · 01/06/2023 20:17

I work in a team of 6.

3 of us are care coordinators. The other 3 are in a different job which is similar to ours but they handle less complex cases.

NOBODY is a manager. We are managed by a GP.

I am a care coordinator. I used to get on really well with the others (A and B). I adore B. I get on well with the rest of the team

However A is awful. She was love bombing me to start with but now she constantly undermines me, quizzes me on what I'm doing and argues.

For example today, she called me and I was with a patient. I called her back 4 MINS LATER and she said she was looking for a colleague (who was with me) to cover a meeting. Colleague was with me seeing a patient and couldn't cover. A then said "she's been there all afternoon" (she hasn't) and "we need to do something about people being at different surgeries especially not answering their phones". She quizzed me on why my colleague is seeing this patient with me and I explained I'll be handing over the patient, A says "shouldn't that go through B?" And then "I've got to go, I've got things to do"

Nobody is my boss or anyone else's. Patients do not go through anyone. B will allocate patients broadly but if there are any changes we do so amongst ourselves (I cover mental health so I allocate my own)

A is constantly like this. For example a patient referral came in asking for support for the wife. The patient is on my caseload so I tell A that I'm seeing him. She argues and says it needs an urgent visit. I look at the notes and it clearly says support for wife so I tell her that, and say I will take the wife on my caseload. She argues and says irs not the wife. Ignores me completely when I say it's on the notes so I just say ok I'll take the wife. She says "so you'll take him then" meaning husband...

2 of the others on the team are A's friends and she's generally well liked and very cosy with the doctors. She's fake nice, but she's a bully. On the surface she's nice "oh I did this for forever solo"

She already bullied another colleague who later got sacked (for other reasons)

The GP won't be interested in this petty drama but I am getting so sick and tired of it. She's now saying the colleague can't work at another surgery even though there is zero reason why not (apart from the fact the colleague is my friend)

She isn't in charge of anything and shouldn't make decisions. I'm sick of justifying myself to her.

Shes insidious

AIBU to feel like I can't handle this anymore?

Oh and she's 56!! I'm 36. It's all childish but it's ruining my job.

OP posts:
ChopSuey2 · 01/06/2023 20:22

Who does your supervision? I'd raise it there.

WateryDoom · 01/06/2023 20:23

She's now saying the colleague can't work at another surgery even though there is zero reason why not (apart from the fact the colleague is my friend)

This is the bit that stood out for me. If she's not your manager (or your colleague's) then does it really matter what she says? Can you not simply ignore her? I would be briskly efficient and ignore anything she says that didn't impinge on me.

I wouldn't argue, I wouldn't try to justify. I'd simply get on with my job.

foreversolo · 01/06/2023 20:28

ChopSuey2 · 01/06/2023 20:22

Who does your supervision? I'd raise it there.

I supervise the team and the GP supervises me. After the last colleague and all that drama I dont think she will want to hear more of it especially about a long serving well liked colleague. But I will think about it as I've no doubt A will run to her!

OP posts:
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