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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Adding a cut off time to teenage son's gaming time

12 replies

Banksy22 · 01/06/2023 16:35

First time I've ever submitted something like this to a public forum, so a little nervous! However, I am at the end of my tether and just want to see what people think about this...

Our teenage son is 17 and enjoys gaming. This does cause a bit of friction sometimes, as he can often get in a rage, with the occasional shouting, accompanied by swearing once in a blue moon (although he knows we don't tolerate this).

We only live in a small terraced house, so his room is right next to ours (and our neighbours!). Over the years, we've tried to be flexible with him as to how late he plays when he doesn't have sixth form the next day, telling him as long as he isn't noisy, he can carry on playing till "a bit later". However, in recent weeks, there have been times when his chatting as he games has kept me awake.

He doesn't see the issue, as he feels he isn't making noise. I've tried to explain that the low level noise he makes when he chats (he has a deep voice!) is still enough to keep me awake at times.

I've now decided enough is enough and told him he will have to come off just before midnight, which is when I usually fall asleep. He's thrown a massive aggressive wobbly, telling me he won't comply and there's nothing I can do about it.

AIBU?

P.S. I really don't like wearing ear plugs, so that is not a realistic option for me.

OP posts:
coldy · 01/06/2023 16:45

not unreasonable, but might help to make consistent boundaries. maybe there are some nights a week it is ok and some it is not?

ofc it is not up to him to define what being "too loud" is, that is for the person being disturbed to decide

BHRK · 01/06/2023 16:46

Tell him if he doesn’t like it he can get a job and move out? I think midnight is a fine cut off

LlynTegid · 01/06/2023 16:46

Midnight is being generous. His strop must have consequences.

Foxesandsquirrels · 01/06/2023 16:54

Is this a child with SEN? If not than reacting that way is really really bratty. I would personally cut off at 11pm as they'll no doubt be making noise getting ready for bed.

Dooopylally · 01/06/2023 16:57

I am able to turn off the wifi to my dc's Xbox. Some providers make this possible. Failing that you could always take the whole bloody wifi box to bed with you.

UseOfWeapons · 01/06/2023 17:06

If he WON'T get headphones, turn off the wifi. He's being unreasonable. If he doesn't like it, perhaps he'd like to move out and get his own wifi?

skyeisthelimit · 01/06/2023 17:17

YANBU. Your house, your rules. See if you can switch the router off at midnight, or get one that you can.

If he doesn't like it, then he knows what to do. Midnight is more than reasonable.

If the game is making him aggressive then it isn't doing him any good

Dooopylally · 01/06/2023 17:24

However, his reaction may be one of extreme annoyance that some thing that probably feels like oxygen to him is being turned off. He may calm down and agree to the new rule, with or without good grace.

DataNotLore · 01/06/2023 17:28

Unplug the router at ten pm

towriteyoumustlive · 01/06/2023 17:34

For such a shitty reaction I'd make it 10pm then if he obeys I'd compromise and make it 11pm.

I'd also consider putting the router in your room the switching it off at 11pm.

Foxesandsquirrels · 01/06/2023 18:12

UseOfWeapons · 01/06/2023 17:06

If he WON'T get headphones, turn off the wifi. He's being unreasonable. If he doesn't like it, perhaps he'd like to move out and get his own wifi?

Very often headphones make things worse as they can't hear how loud they're talking to their mates.

AnnRose6 · 31/07/2023 18:41

I have very similar issues with my son and it's very upsetting when they behave like this, I feel for you. We have set a midnight finish as we can hear his low chat even if he's trying to be quiet.
I just get told his friends are all allowed so must just be that were really mean parents
It's so hard especially in holiday time when you're at work x

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