Spending (equally) on grown up children?

[hollyblueivy]

If you spend on one grown up child, would you ensure the other grown up children are broadly equally also spent on?

I think broadly, however there are some instances when fair doesn't mean equal and I don't think it needs to be at the same time.

My parents are pretty intentionally even handed. We've never caused a fuss or been bratty about anything, they've just always taken that approach.

We haven’t as DD has needed expensive private therapy and other support. I dread to think how much that’s added up to over the years. She also still lives at home. DSs don’t. I’m sure they’d much rather be in their position than hers. We’ve spent, each according to their need as much as possible.

We bought stuff for DS1 while he was at uni but that didn’t add up to what we spent on DD. We supported DS2 when he was away for an apprenticeship.

We didn’t even attempt to start to add up the amounts.

Treated fairly as they need help but not absolutely equally

Dc are to have a nominal help with a house deposit.. Ds missed out as I refused to hand it over when he was mixed up with batshit gf... He intends to buy another place so will get it then.. Dd currently looking. Knowing my luck be both at the same time!