Annoyed by stereotyping females as the one who chooses home decor?

[Navalcaptain]

I have very little interest in choosing anything for my home from carpets to paint, light fittings to pictures. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to live in a nice as I do.

My husband is very creative and has excellent judgment when it comes to colours, styles, design of rooms etc. He enjoys it so I just let him crack on. Every time we change something we have a very brief discussion, he makes suggestions and I say, sounds great. Off he goes to B&Q or the bathroom showroom etc.

Virtually every time he’s chatting to the retail staff and it’s mentioned he has a wife and family there’s shock horror that the woman is not choosing the colour of paint or the intricate details of bathroom tiles or whether the laminate floor is grey or dark grey!

He tells me when he gets back and even he finds the stereotyping outrageous!

Why do people do this? It’s infuriating

So true! My husband is so much better than this stuff than me. He ordered a whole new kitchen without me, as he knew roughly what I liked and I really couldn't be bothered with all the faff. He's much better at colours too.

YABU. They do it because the majority of women do decorate their home, whether you want to acknowledge that or not.

Funny thing to be annoyed by, it's often but not always accurate - like many stereotypes, except this one isn't offensive.

It's definitely a stereotype, I had many chats about this when we were choosing colours for our home.

I think it’s pretty unusual for anyone, male or female, to make a large home fittings or decoration choice without any input from their partner if they have one. I don’t think it’s particularly unreasonable for a salesperson to be surprised that your OH is making choices alone when he co-owns his home with another adult. Most adults have preferences they like to express.

Yes, the stereotype does exist that women are cushion-loving home-makers and men are happy to live in pig-sties, and of course it isn’t always true - but to the extent that the archetypal barren ‘batchelor pad’ is still how many single men live; and that whenever I’m in John Lewis or Dunelm or Bed Bath and Beyond or wherever one goes to buy their home shit, a good 85% of the customers are female, the stereotype does hold weight.

You say retail staff are taken aback. This suggests that in their experience, it's usually the women who make these decisions.

It's probably just what they are used to and have observed. So they are surprised when it's the man doing it alone.
It's clearly not common.

You say you have little interest in choosing but still want to live in a nice place. In my experience, the majority of men have little interest in choosing and don't care that much if they don't.

Of course not all men, but I definitely think this is a stereotype that exists because it reflects the majority.

Very much the same as you! Although we've never had comments. Also, I'm the organiser of the two of us so I usually have to push him to go and make a decision (which he does and always chooses the perfect colour / style / fabric).

Exactly the same with clothes! I usually say "I need a new coat for winter, pick me something please!" Without fail, he chooses the perfect item or outfit.

That’s brilliant my husband is exactly the same he’ll often bring presents back (he loves shopping and I loathe it), jumpers, hand bags and shoes and they’re always perfect!

In my experience (my relationship included) it is the norm. So that's probably why assumptions are made.

It's not a stereotype, most women take very little interest in the design, building, first fix and second fix stages of home projects and DIY. Many only come to life and show interest in the latter stages, namely the decor and finishing touches.
You are perhaps and exception to the 'norm'.

I wish my OH would keep his nose out and let me decide. I'm genuinely sure he is colour blind and his input into every single thing that is bought for the home is wearying and eventually ends up in neither of us getting anything we'd exactly like because we always have to compromise. People tell me I have good taste so obviously my choices are much better than his

The retail staff are a bit weird to make such a big thing of it, but if they think it's unusual it probably is because they actually do normally see women making those decisions.

Sometimes stereotypes are based on experiences people have. So let’s say you work in a paint shop it’s very likely that in your experience when it comes to a heterosexual couple that the woman is usually the one picking out or taking the lead on choosing paint colours. It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

Why is it infuriating. Its hardly outrageous.
Just move on with your day.
As it happens I pick the decor as dh isn't interested. Both girlfriends have picked the decor for their houses as our sons arent bothered about colour scheme. My female friends also pick the decor.
The only male that I ha e known to pick is a married guy couple and they went for beige because they weren't fussed.
So in my, not very scientific, research I would say most females to pick the colour s hemes!

Dh has a better eye than me for colours and design. We have chosen wall paper together, but sometimes it's been a compromise. I'm useless with too much choice and we have different tastes.
Most of my female friends do it all, so maybe I'm just odd ( or a bit lazy !)