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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partner has no respect

57 replies

Shh123 · 31/05/2023 22:39

Partners royally pissed me off. He's a lazy shit does no cooking or cleaning or washing or looking after the children his excuse "IvE bEeN WoRkInG AlL DaY" and I work nights yet I still manage to do those things and more he does things like there's noone else in the house or like I've told him he acts single. For example.
Hes ment to finish work early after noon no later than 2 didn't step foot through the door until 6 did he let me know his plan did he fuck!

Never texts or calls me when he's out of the house

Comes in from work bam staight on the sofa on his phone like hello I'm right here!! yes I've had a good day thank for asking!! As soon as he's finished his dinner that I've cooked whole still at the dinner table straight back on his phone ignoring everyone not even a thank you for dinner.

Evening spent on his phone and youtube
Oh and will fall asleep on the sofa with said phone in his hand
Wakes up in the morning (days off) then spends an hour at least on his phone until he gets his arse out of bed. Not like he has 2 kids under four down stairs

He moans at me for using my phone when he has something to say but gets all defensive and denies usage when I mentioned his or ignores me when I want to chat.

So AIBU I've not uttered one word to him for 3days and have gone to bed once the kids are in bed. He can have my company when he starts acting like a partner and not a phone obsessed that!!

OP posts:
EllandRd · 01/06/2023 07:18

Well why you with him?

Jagoda · 01/06/2023 07:19

You want him to behave differently but this is who he is. He doesn’t give a fuck.

Stop thinking you can control his behaviour, and start making plans to extricate yourself and your DC from this toxic life. Future you will thank you.

Brocolibee · 01/06/2023 07:20

Aquamarine1029 · 31/05/2023 22:58

Oh and my children are perfectly fine

No they're not. They're living in a home with a father who is totally disinterested in their lives, who treats their mother horribly, who doesn't model respect or consideration whatsoever, and as a result their mum is desperately unhappy.

Your kids aren't fine at all.

Yeah it's not doing them any favours. I also wonder how many people who put up with this shit grew up in households which were similar. I'd never put up with this, what a crap way to live.

Yahyahs22 · 01/06/2023 08:05

I just got out of a relationship JUST like this. Funnily enough he left because he wasn't happy..you might want to beat him to it

IDontWantToBeAPie · 01/06/2023 08:51

Take half of everything in the joint accounts. Then tell him to leave. Done.

He doesn't love or respect you. He doesn't care about his children. Nothing will change him.

So leave.

bonzaitree · 01/06/2023 15:29

OP can you afford therapy? (To be clear I mean go on your own!)

Might be good to speak to someone properly about this.

my counsellor is only £30 per hour and she is amazing. She has helped me see patterns of behaviour that are deeper than the immediate problem. For example - why have the two of you found yourself in this situation after ten years?

Theres no harm is there- if you have spare £60 per month it would be money well spent for fortnightly sessions.

Nanny0gg · 01/06/2023 15:31

Shh123 · 31/05/2023 23:29

Is there a different way I can approach him with these issues. What ive stated up there is what said I've told him but he gets defensive and twists everything on me. I'm not being heard. I need to get to the bottom of this before I leave 10 years will be wasted otherwise

Tell him that it changes or it's over.

He'll either care or he won't.

(My money is on won't)

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