If you're autistic or have ADHD, what are ways that help you cope with life?

[Fyhbthng]

I'm in my late 20s, and starting to think that I may have autism or perhaps ADHD. I relate to a lot of the symptoms in women, and autism runs in my family. I've been struggling with 'normal life', and life feels like I'm walking on a tightrope. I really struggle at work, I get overwhelmed easily.

Are there any habits or behaviours you do that help you cope with life's demands? Or even just ways of thinking and understanding that help?

Lists and double checking lists
Setting alarms to remind me of tasks throughout the day

Ime of my customers has all of the above.. Her mh team suggested she get a cleaner...me! Customer reports to me often how much her mh has improved. Just by my 2 hours a week she feels less stressed and more in control. Her home can be as she needs it to be with no effort!

Mostly just cutting myself some slack, and realising I don't need to put in 10x the effort to do what everyone else dose easily, when there are alternative options.

Practically, I have a set routine and lots of alarms on my phone to tell me when to do stuff (like get ready for work, pick up kids, start making tea).

I've broken my housework into tasks, which come up as calander notifications on the day I need to do them, on a weekly or 2/4 week rotation.

I drive an automatic because I have poor motor skills/ coordination. It took far to long to stop feeling embarrassed that I took the 'lazy' option.

I where comfortable cloths, another one that took a while to stop worrying about what people think.

I've learnt to self-advocate when people suggest plans that just won't work for me. Eg pubs and busy places are hell for me, and I will not be able to have a meaningful conversation because my brain is trying to simultaneously process what every person in the room is saying. If someone wants to see me they can come to my house or meet somewhere quieter.

ADHD here.

I have a paper notebook with my to-do list in.

Every Sunday night I check what I have not done yet and re-write it onto the next week.

Exercise helps clear my head of constant thoughts.

I'm a teacher so have times when I am going to mark homeworks etc...

I also meal plan so I know what is being cooked and when!

I'm autistic.

I can only manage part-time work (around 25/30 hours per week.
I'm self-employed so I don't need to deal with other people very often.
I work with animals which minimises my contact with people even further.
I make sure to take time for myself every single day.

Once I got a diagnosis in my twenties, my life seemed to fall into place as I no longer feel the need to mask or pretend to cope anymore. I'm very happy now.

Honestly? I have dropped the things I thought I had to do and am enjoying a quiet life. I don't work for various reasons but it suits me down to the ground having previously struggled my way through jobs. I don't really 'do' much and have a really relaxed way of life. I don't have DC in school anymore so that helps too. I spend a lot of time doing things I want to do rather than things people expect me to want to do. It took me over 40 years to reach this situation but the last few years have been a lot of self discovery and reframing the past. I have autism and ADHD but understanding that has been life changing.