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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

upset with neighbour

10 replies

Crabby100 · 31/05/2023 12:40

How do I handle a neighbour who blatantly ignores me. Most dog owners in our village meet at the same time every day on the park behind my gate, I love to drop in with them when I am not working but we have a lady who lives next door but one who suffers with mental health and alcoholism. When she drinks heavily, she goes in the garden and shouts and screams at the close neighbours to leave her alone and not to gossip about her -she uses awful language and makes horrendous threats. She has personally accused me of gossiping which I certainly haven’t and I tried to tell her this but she swore at me and now ignores me and blatantly walks off if I join in with the group when she is with them. They all know she has a problem but don’t hear her when she gets drunk and shouts in the garden. It is only us immediate neighbours that she dislikes I assume its because she knows we hear her when she has her crazy hour in her garden. I want to know what to do when she is chatting to the dog walkers and I want to join them, when she sees me coming she walks off and it makes me feel extremely humiliated, I have tried to broach the subject with a trusted member of the group but they said to just cut her some slack as she recently lost her dad, they know she’s a nuisance and that they are lucky they don’t have to live next door to her. I feel I shouldn’t try to make them take sides etc so don’t wish to say anything -any advise on how to handle the situation – should I just ignore her and not join in the chat if she’s around? But when I do that they want to know why I’ve not joined them! So difficult I am getting quite worried and wound up about this I feel I dare not go out anymore.

OP posts:
Americano75 · 31/05/2023 12:45

The woman clearly has major issues, and her behaviour towards you isn't personal. You can't control her behaviour, only your own and I would honestly ignore her.

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 31/05/2023 12:46

Just go out and join them and let her flounce off. Sounds like they all know what she's like so why should you be uncomfortable? Carry on as you would normally and just ignore her.

Maddy70 · 31/05/2023 12:47

Just join them and ignore here. Having said that are you hanging outside her house talking loudly?

That's winding her up. Can you move further away so as not to disturb her.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/05/2023 12:49

Sorry, but you're being really ridiculous. Everyone knows this woman has serious issues. Just completely ignore her and carry on with your life. I assure you, absolutely no one cares about this.

LakieLady · 31/05/2023 12:50

You can't reason with the unreasonable, so there's no point in trying.

Go and join in chats with other dog owners, there's no need for you to isolate yourself because of her behaviour.

IamnotSethRogan · 31/05/2023 12:53

If she walks off when you join it's not really an issue is it.

It slightly comes across to me as if you're trying to make it a bit more if an issue I.e. you bringing it up to another neighbour who sounded like they were trying to brush the conversation off

Gingergirl70 · 31/05/2023 12:58

Don't modify your behaviour. Just join the group and the conversation as you normally would. If she walks away, that's her decision.
I'm not sure why you're so upset and humilated if you know the whole neighbourhood know about and obviously sympathise with both your situation and hers. Of course you shouldn't try and make them take sides, why would you unless you are getting accused of causing the problem in the first place. Why on earth would you feel like you can't go out anymore?
Do your neighbour have and family and friends to support her through her grief and alcohol problems?

Hidinginaonesie · 31/05/2023 13:10

I think you’re turning it into a bit of a drama where there needs to be none. Just ignore her weird behaviour and carry on with whatever you would normally do.

BritishDesiGirl · 31/05/2023 13:39

" crazy hour" no wonder she doesn't like you

Tinkerbyebye · 31/05/2023 13:50

It’s her problem, not yours. You just carry on as normal, join the group as normal and if she chooses to leave that’s up to her

its as simple as that

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