Selfish OH

[Misskg1982]

My OH goes to bed when he likes, gets up when he likes (often close to or past midday) yet wants to moan at me that Im not meeting his needs.
We have a 5yr old DD who I get up with and see too throughout the day. He does often cook dinner but other then that sits around watching tv or playing on his console. I feel like I have a teenager!. I have our DD with me most of the time (when we're home). I also am the one who does bedtime routine.
We both work but I just feel like we live too totally separate lives and when I bring this up his solution is I need a break and our DD should go to one of our parents. But that really isnt the issue. Ive told him Im not happy and that I also feel my needs aren't being met to which he tells me its taken on board and it changes for five minutes but then we result back to normal. I cant meet someones needs when Im running on empty....
I dont want to leave as we have a young child but I feel Im getting to the point of what life is this????

Well unless you can perform magic, not sure what else you can do. You either stay or go.

When do you both fit work in? You say he goes to bed when he wants (which is normal for an adult), gets up when he wants (doesnt he have to be anywhere at a certain time, want to be present with his kids etc), Then spends the day watching TV or on his console.
What hours do you both work?

Go. You're gonna split anyway in the end. People like him don't change. Just rip the plaster off and end the relationship. Whats your housing situation?

When he says you aren’t meeting his needs he means sex doesn’t he?
Why are they so bloody predictable?

I'd like to know this too, is he part time? Because I can't see how he fits work in otherwise.

He's not going to change. You've let him get away with not sharing parenting for 5 years! I wouldn't want to be someone who has no interest in looing his chid. I would also think about the impression this will have on your daughter in terms of equality in the home environment.

He’s a selfish, useless shit. 🤷‍♀️that’s it. He’s not interested in the needs of you or your daughter, only his own. That will never, ever change.

Only you can decide what you want to do about it, but I implore you not to waste your life hoping he’ll change, he won’t.

You need to tell him he needs to help out his fair share or leave.

You're basically a single parent anyway so it wont be much different for you.

Thing is, you've enabled him to behave this way by picking up his slack, and after 5 years, I honestly don't think you stand a chance of changing it. It's ingrained, and who he is.

You're basically a single parent as it is.

I dont want to leave as we have a young child

Do you want your child thinking this is normal life and that this is how relationships are? If so, then stay. If not, then go.

This. He won't change.

Well, your only options are put up with it or leave. Clearly he's not going to change.