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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Late CMS

26 replies

Frustratedmama22 · 31/05/2023 07:39

My LG Bio dad has stopped paying his monthly maintenance on the 1st and started paying it on the 4th of each month! This really messes things up for me but CMS have said it’s not classed as late as under six days.

we have no contact as was a casual relationship and when I did find him on fb and got his number to ask about maintenance, he blocked me.

is it unreasonable to go to my local MP for help as they pushed CMS to find him after I couldn’t, and make them take it on collect and pay so it’s on the correct date?

OP posts:
Saniflo · 31/05/2023 07:41

CMS won't consider 4 days late as you have found out. What do you expect your MP to do about it really? I think you are being a bit petty really.

AnImmenseDislikeOfPeople · 31/05/2023 07:42

I think you're overreacting and being a bit shit. He's still paying you; maybe his pay date has changed so he needs to shuffle his standing orders to make sure he has the cash available? My DH used to get paid on the 25th; his new job is the 4th. He pays maintenance on the 1st. I'd like to hope (perhaps naively) that as long as he sends the money on the 4th, his ex will be understanding of his new circumstances.

peacelemon · 31/05/2023 07:42

I think you'll just have to try and adjust things at your end so there's less of an impact. What do you rely on it for? If its bills can you shift the date of your bill payments?

Readyplayerthr33 · 31/05/2023 07:43

No one is going to do anything. It isn’t considered late. You’ll have to adjust your budgeting to manage it being the 4th.

peacelemon · 31/05/2023 07:44

And yes I think your MP will write a polite response to you but they won't do anything - as CMS said its not classed as late

DisquietintheRanks · 31/05/2023 07:46

If he's paying the full amount on a consistent date then that's as good as it's going to get.

peacelemon · 31/05/2023 07:46

When is your pay day? Would your pay cover the mortgage/rent if it's due on the 1st? Then anything else you can probably shift when you pay.

HarrysStyle · 31/05/2023 07:49

Just be grateful he's paying regularly. Thousands of women don't get anything.

knobheadex · 31/05/2023 07:51

I think you're being ridiculous. A casual relationship with no contact and he's still paying what he owes every month. Be grateful because as PP said, there's an awful lot of women out there who get nothing after years together and multiple children.

DaniFar · 31/05/2023 07:52

It's three days later - adjust your bills slightly to make it work.

DaniFar · 31/05/2023 07:54

(Although it's a bit shit telling you to be grateful that he's doing the absolute bare minimum especially as he's being forced by CMS and not off his own back)

peacelemon · 31/05/2023 07:54

HarrysStyle · 31/05/2023 07:49

Just be grateful he's paying regularly. Thousands of women don't get anything.

I think that's not really fair on OP. Why should she be grateful he pays what he should? Just because other parents are shit.

peacelemon · 31/05/2023 07:55

DaniFar · 31/05/2023 07:54

(Although it's a bit shit telling you to be grateful that he's doing the absolute bare minimum especially as he's being forced by CMS and not off his own back)

Ha snap!

taxpayer1 · 31/05/2023 10:08

4 days and calling the MP. If 4 days mess your finances up, you have bigger problems. Absolutely ridiculous.

Sartre · 31/05/2023 10:12

Your MP can’t and won’t do anything about this. It’s annoying but if you’re reliant on it for bills, change your bill dates? It’s only three days, I’d understand if it was a week+ late.

You could switch to collect and pay if you want but I always thought that was a huge money making scheme for CMS personally, incurs lots of fees for both of you.

FarmGirl78 · 31/05/2023 10:57

You want a Member of Parliament to get involved to make your Child's Father pay you the same money but 3 days earlier? Christ on a bike the world has gone mad.

MumsShark · 31/05/2023 10:58

My exes maintenance payments are 6 years late 😂 I wouldn’t dream of going to the mp about it!

Waitingforsummer75 · 31/05/2023 11:00

Collect and pay won't mean you get the money on the 1st anyway. I'm going through this at the moment and have been advised it will delay the payment, which is fine, at least I'll actually get it eventually 🙂

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/05/2023 11:00

How do you think anyone can force him to pay on the precise day you want?

Lefteyetwitch · 31/05/2023 11:04

It is not his responsibility to accommodate your outgoings.
He is paying each month.
What if he turns around and says that's when his money comes in? What do you want him to do then?

taxpayer1 · 31/05/2023 13:16

Sartre · 31/05/2023 10:12

Your MP can’t and won’t do anything about this. It’s annoying but if you’re reliant on it for bills, change your bill dates? It’s only three days, I’d understand if it was a week+ late.

You could switch to collect and pay if you want but I always thought that was a huge money making scheme for CMS personally, incurs lots of fees for both of you.

No, you can't. You can only be switched if he misses payments (more than 5 days late).

Original poster
Frustratedmama22 · 03/06/2023 16:06

Give me the decency of knowing the date. He could contact CMS or unblock me on fb. I’m a disabled mother and find things tight as is with only living off benefits and the help of this maintenance. I try my best to put some away in saving for child but it’s not easy when I don’t know when I will be getting the money.

OP posts:
marshmallowsforbreakfast · 03/06/2023 16:39

You're being crazy, you're getting regular payments. It's always advised never to rely on CMS money anyway. I'd pick your battles with this, if you kick up too kick of a fuss you'll potentially end up with nothing.

Readyplayerthr33 · 03/06/2023 18:02

If he always pays on the 4th then you have a regular date. Just assume it will be in by the 6th or 7th and plan your bills that way.

peacelemon · 03/06/2023 18:22

Frustratedmama22 · 03/06/2023 16:06

Give me the decency of knowing the date. He could contact CMS or unblock me on fb. I’m a disabled mother and find things tight as is with only living off benefits and the help of this maintenance. I try my best to put some away in saving for child but it’s not easy when I don’t know when I will be getting the money.

Assume you won't get the money and live accordingly- it's rubbish but its the only way to not let late payment bother you