To be annoyed at my brother

[annoyedatmysibling]

I've recently found out that I'm not well. It transpires that what I have wrong with me is hereditary and if you get it you should inform your siblings ASAP. Siblings should have a gene test to ensure they haven't got it and can start treatment if necessary. It's not cancer but something that can be serious.

Turns out my brother was diagnosed with the same thing a few years ago and didn't bother to tell us.

Am I wrong to be angry with him for not letting us know? I feel that he could have helped keep me healthy!

What was his reason for not disclosing info to his family?

Didn't have a reason

Would it have made a difference to your outcome if you'd known when he was diagnosed or nothing you could have done would have prevented you getting it?

My mother did a similar thing regarding a genetic cancer. I now have that cancer. Fortunately I was aware enough of a family history that it didn’t change the outcome for me. But it could have been very different.

She basically didn’t want to think about it or have anyone talk about it so she just pretended she hadn’t been told.

I don’t spend too much time dwelling on it as I need to stay positive and focus on my own recovery.

How would his disclosure have helped you keep healthy if it's genetic?

Was your brother made aware by his doctors that he should inform siblings (and children?) when he was diagnosed? From having something in our family, not all doctors do.

Unless he wasn't made aware that it's important to tell relations as they could have it too I'd consider it a really big breach of trust. There's an argument that he might not have wanted to disclose his diagnosis, but I'd still feel really hurt if my brother did this.

Often people are entitled to early and regular screening for these conditions. As we don’t actually know what it is, it could be one that can be aided or minimised with medication, if it is something that has ‘flare ups’.

It could have reduced the OP’s stress, reduced her exposure to symptoms, and aided a much quicker diagnosis.

It’s a bit daft to think it wouldn’t have helped if he’d done as genetically advised and told his siblings.

My husband has a genetic cardiac condition and if he took the stance of ‘why bother, how would it help my brothers stay healthy if it’s genetic anyway?’ they wouldn’t be privy to preventative medicine and lifestyle changes and regular heart scans. The first they’d know would be when they went down like a sack of shit with a cardiac arrest.

@Tiddlypomtiddlypom you couldnt have given the helpful parts of your post without the snipes

Obviously missed a ? at the end there

Are you sure he received the same advice?

He absolutely should have told you, but you don't know how you would have felt. You might not have been sure you wanted the genetic testing and would likely have still found it very difficult to navigate.

If he was told to let his siblings know then yes of course he was a selfish twat.
I'm sorry you have something difficult to deal with op but try to concentrate on yourself now, don't give him another thought.