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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take 4yo DD on holiday during term time?

48 replies

myvitaa · 29/05/2023 09:55

My 4yo DD (in reception) has had to miss school quite a bit this academic year because of her underlying medical condition as well as a severe form of chest infection. During all her absences, we've had to go to the GP or A&E because she was that bad, bless her. The head teacher called me in to discuss her attendance as it's a lot lower than her peers. I've let her know of DD's health condition, provided hospital letters and also said I'm happy for the school to contact the GP and access her medical record.

Next week is my only time off work until early September (she will be at school then), so the only time we can go on a beach/summer holiday this year.

AIBU to take DD on holiday, which means her attendance will most likely go lower than what it is and she will miss a week of school?

OP posts:
Octonaut4Life · 29/05/2023 09:57

Normally I'd say go for it but I think if her attendance has been that bad already, it would be better not to.

Divorcedalongtime · 29/05/2023 09:58

You know she is below statutory school age right? You could take her out of school altogether and start again after she is 5

Summerishereagain · 29/05/2023 09:58

Is she likely to miss lots of reception again due to condition? How is she doing academically and socially?

DiddyHeck · 29/05/2023 09:59

The problem is she'll probably tell her teachers/friends and you wouldn't want her to lie anyway.

It sounds like it'll trigger a fine but if you're ok with that, then it's your choice.

Longnecksusan · 29/05/2023 10:00

Reception is a year where it’s not really ‘important’ as such (as in SATS etc would be) her attendance is already poor .. take her on that holiday.
a lot of people will say keep her in school etc etc, but she’s never going to be four again. You don’t know what your circumstances are going to be like next year.
Take her, be honest with the school, pay the £60 fine. In 10/20 years time I bet you aren’t losing sleep that you made amazing memories with your daughter and she missed 5 days of playing in the sand at school X

1stTimeMama · 29/05/2023 10:01

Absolutely go on that holiday! She's not even required to be at school, so I wouldn't think twice about it.

Equalitea · 29/05/2023 10:01

As she already has poor attendance I’d be anxious about the judgement. The potential fine I’d take and happily pay but the disapproving comments/looks etc would make me too stressed tbh! 😅

I took mine out of school for a few days most years for holidays but their attendance aside from that was excellent and actually more often than not the holidays were authorised!

DiddyHeck · 29/05/2023 10:01

Oh good point, they can't fine you if she's only 4.

BeeHappy12 · 29/05/2023 10:02

She's under the statutory age anyway. School before 6 or 7 has no proven benefit and she'll likely benefit so much more from the time with you, seeing new things and having adventures. I wouldn't even second guess doing it.

You won't ever regret going but may regret not going in the future.

Wildspace · 29/05/2023 10:03

Do it. Holidays and time with family more important than being in a classroom at that age. Sounds like you could do with it. Hope you have a lovely time.

Paperlate · 29/05/2023 10:03

She's only 4. Take her on holiday, she will get more out of that experience than a week in reception.

FloweryName · 29/05/2023 10:03

If she’s already got poor attendance, then YABVU. Reception is when children begin to learn to read and unless your dd is especially intelligent, not having a good early years and KS1 education will hold her back for the rest of her school career.

Original poster
myvitaa · 29/05/2023 10:08

If we do go ahead with the booking, she will turn 5 on holiday, so it's also her birthday present in a way. She is in top class and doing very well socially. She has lots of friends and despite the numerous absences, she doesn't seem to be affected at all, academically. I wouldn't mind paying a fine, but I'm afraid of other severe consequences...what can the school do if her attendance is too low?

OP posts:
Createausername1970 · 29/05/2023 10:08

Go. She is 4. No fines. If you have concerns that she might miss something at school, ask for work sheets or reading books.

BeeHappy12 · 29/05/2023 10:09

You've got to be kidding FloweryName...

Do you actually think an extra week off in reception will hold her back for her entire schooling career. You sound very scared and anxious.

The statutory schooling age in Finland is 7, it's 6 in Aus and NZ and most Scandinavian countries.

DiddyHeck · 29/05/2023 10:11

myvitaa · 29/05/2023 10:08

If we do go ahead with the booking, she will turn 5 on holiday, so it's also her birthday present in a way. She is in top class and doing very well socially. She has lots of friends and despite the numerous absences, she doesn't seem to be affected at all, academically. I wouldn't mind paying a fine, but I'm afraid of other severe consequences...what can the school do if her attendance is too low?

If we do go ahead with the booking, she will turn 5 on holiday

So she turns five next week??

Why didn't you say so? What's the point in asking if you're unreasonable to take your four year old on holiday? Confused

Businessflake · 29/05/2023 10:12

I wouldn’t give a shit about other people judging me. But I personally would not want to let my child get even further behind having missed so much school already.

Nutterjacks · 29/05/2023 10:14

There are no concerns academically and it's only reception year so take her on holiday, enjoy your time away.

In geographical terms, it's an "educational trip"

Have fun!

Divorcedalongtime · 29/05/2023 10:15

myvitaa · 29/05/2023 10:08

If we do go ahead with the booking, she will turn 5 on holiday, so it's also her birthday present in a way. She is in top class and doing very well socially. She has lots of friends and despite the numerous absences, she doesn't seem to be affected at all, academically. I wouldn't mind paying a fine, but I'm afraid of other severe consequences...what can the school do if her attendance is too low?

SSA is the term after they turn 5, so she still isn’t school age on your holiday

SwedishDeathClearance · 29/05/2023 10:18

myvitaa · 29/05/2023 10:08

If we do go ahead with the booking, she will turn 5 on holiday, so it's also her birthday present in a way. She is in top class and doing very well socially. She has lots of friends and despite the numerous absences, she doesn't seem to be affected at all, academically. I wouldn't mind paying a fine, but I'm afraid of other severe consequences...what can the school do if her attendance is too low?

She is in top class?
In reception?

Hmmm

DiddyHeck · 29/05/2023 10:18

I was wondering about the 'top class' thing too but then this whole thread has me confused now.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 29/05/2023 10:20

She's not statutory school age until the term after her 5th birthday, so there's no issue in taking her. Just do it.

itispersonal · 29/05/2023 10:20

Doesn't matter if her birthday is during the holiday. A child is only legally required to attend school the term after their 5th birthday.

As someone who works in a foundation unit I would do it, though I'd maybe just have a quick informal chat with the teacher to advise, education is more than school. Family time is as important as education. Yes foundation lays the important foundation of a child (especially the prime areas) but if she is doing fine in all these - I'd not give it a second thought!

Original poster
myvitaa · 29/05/2023 10:21

Her reception class is divided into 3 groups. Her teacher said she is amongst the most capable students and is hitting all targets on time or earlier.

OP posts:
Original poster
myvitaa · 29/05/2023 10:23

Thank you all for your messages and suggestions!💐

OP posts:
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