to find opt out emails more upsetting than the actual emails?

[YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan]

I lost my Dad a few years back. I know Fathers Day happens every year in mid-June and I know gifts will be promoted for people buying for their Dads. I understand I will still get emails in the run up to the day titled "Father's Day gift ideas" or similar and will just delete them without opening it. I'm not against Father's Day and know that people will be spoiling their Dads as I did with mine when he was here. I will still have a quiet moment of reflection thinking about him on the day.

For the last few weeks, I've had a number of emails asking me if I want to opt out of Fathers Day marketing. I find this more upsetting because they want me to open an email and click a button to confirm that my Dad is still dead. It's just feels much worse and harder to deal with being constantly reminded that I can opt out because I don't have a Dad, than actually getting the gifting emails.

AIBU for feeling this way?

I wouldn't mind if opting out once took you out of mothers/fathers day marketing every year. It's that they expect you to reopt out every year.

So basically every year you have multiple emails from the same companies you opted out of last year so its all totally pointless.

I’m glad you’ve said this. I think the same. The very act of saying no, not relevant to me is awful!

I agree. I guess next year we won’t receive them though? I lost my Dad on Father’s Day morning a few years ago so find it all just generally very upsetting. YANBU and 💐

It's that they expect you to reopt out every year.

Really? That is a really pointless exercise if so.

I agree op and was only saying the same this morning!!!

It may vary from one firm to another but a few years ago when I had a miscarriage I opted out of mothers day emails and I know the next year I recognised some of the same companies asking me if I wanted to opt out again.

So it's basically the same as having email marketing about it if you have to go through the opt out emails every year

When I first had an opt out email, I thought it wasn’t a bad idea to permanently remove myself from this type of marketing. When I realised I would get opt out emails every year, I decided it was all very pointless.

Yeah. They are shit.

Yes exactly. I don't want to have to opt out every single year.

Hi, we are a thoughtful company, not like those other companies over there who only care about your money, we care about you. We know this time of year is hard for some people so if you would like is to stop sending emails about it we will, because we care about you, you mean a lot to us.

Oh by the way, we will send you this email every single year, because at some point you will be ready to spend money at this special time again and we need to be ready to capitalise on that. And hopefully you will spend more money with us because you remember how very kind and thoughtful we were. Because we care (mostly about profits).

Do they think dead parents revive or something?

It’s not always about parents though, sometimes it is about children who died or were never born. I do think there should be an option to opt out permanently.

It doesn't really matter whose died. If someone's died, they're dead. The opt out should be permanent. They must be able to do that and it just goes to show how much they really don't give a shit that it isn't

I unsubscribe from every email as soon as I get them.

I think there’s some lack of understanding here about how the opt outs work.

A company will send all its general comps to list A. They will send an email to list A asking if you want to opt out, then, they will create list B which is where they send the specific emails about Mother’s Day / Father’s Day.

but then over the course of the year, list A has grown bigger because more people have signed up over the 12 months. So they have to ask again, to catch the new people and also those people whose circumstances have changed which again, allows them to re market to list B once again. So you’re not having to opt out each year, you’ve already opted out. That hasn’t changed at all. The message us to the new people or those whose decision has changed.

but you are all right. The question about whether to opt out means that they’ve already asked you about Mother’s Day/Father’s Day regardless of the so-called sensitivity if not asking you about it. I’d rather from the beginning, as you sign up you could choose to tick yes/no I want birthday/Xmas/mothers/fathers emails because it then avoids the whole scenario.

I don’t find them upsetting as such, my much loved deceased dad would have laughed along with this total marketing nonsense if he were still here and let’s face it he’s never going to come back. What does make me feel better is unsubscribing from all emails from any company sending me this self-serving “ o we are so understanding “ bollocks. If everyone did this the companies might think again.

I think it started during COVID, as obviously at that time, lots of people were losing parents, and it was all very shocking. However now we are back to a more normal situation, I think they should stop doing this. As pps, it actually highlights losses, rather than mitigating them.

No we aren't thick. They need to cross reference their list from the previous year and not send those who have opted out another do you want to opt out email.

I agree. After dd died I didn’t need the reminders from companies that I might find these days difficult and want to opt out.

However I used to run a small gifting business and actually had someone complain about me not sending these emails out. Can’t win.

I have opted out of all marketing emails. If I need to buy anything, I know where the website is, thanks.

I agree - you should only need to opt out once not every year!