To think quiet people get picked on more?

[itstheleavingthatshard]

I’m a quiet person but I’m not shy.

I have other examples, but one particular one is an apprentice at work that feels like she can speak to me in any way she wants.

We had a meeting of five people, I didn’t talk much in the meeting and she messaged me afterwards to say “great contribution there” and each Monday we talk through our projects, some projects last ages (not just mine) and she’s only ever pointed out mine taking a long time before in front of everyone.

I feel like because I’m quiet it’s easy to take advantage.

Yes, I am a very quiet person and look years younger than I am which doesn't help. I have been shouted at by apprentices and staff who were years younger than me. I'm embarrassed by it but have learnt that I need to learn boundaries and that you can be assertive without needing to be an extrovert or loud.
By the way your colleague sounds like a nasty little cow. Much better to be quiet than have a personality like hers.

Out of curiosity how do you manage to be assertive, as I feel like I come off defensive.

I do agree though I'm much better at asserting myself these days which can be a bit of a shock to some if they're used to you being quiet. I still prefer to be myself than be the loud and overbearing colleagues - nobody seems to like those. I have no issue making friends at work - but yes you definitely get some that have an issue with quiet, unassuming people. Probably good I can stay quiet - I can think quite scathingly about others at times 😬

Whos her boss,? This is not acceptable and you also do need to be assertive and say so.

I’m not her boss but in a hierarchy structure I am above her.

I just have no idea how to be assertive. When she says something I just feel like I’m on the defence.

1-this face helps, I give people hard stares when they are rude
2-ask questions 'what do you mean?' etc.

I agree, I have a very loud colleague who no exaggeration will talk for 90% of the meeting because no one else can get another word in. I had a one to one meeting with her and then the time was up, I said goodbye as we’d discussed everything we needed to and she messaged me 5 minutes later saying she’d not realised I’d left … we were on video so she was literally talking to a blank screen and didn’t realise. I’ve come to realise she’s not very well liked.

How are you more assertive, I need tips 🥹