If you have a complex family of origin, did you ever feel unsure about having children?

[ToParentOrNotToParent]

Due to health issues I probably won't have kids (which is very painful) but even before reaching that reality, I lack confidence that I would be good enough. I grew up in kinship care with wonderful loving people but like I say in title, it was complex and certainly not ideal. I can think of many, many things that could go wrong if I had a child and doubt my ability to cope.

Is that a sign I'm not good parent material?

Do most people simply have a quiet, self-assured gut feeling beforehand that they know they can handle whatever parenting challenges are thrown at them?

I'm pretty sure I won't have them anyway as most sensible reality but oh I'm just not there yet, with accepting it. I did always want them.

I think thinking it through in a sensible mature fashion like you have done actually makes you sound like ideal parent material. I’m so sorry your journey to parenthood doesn’t sound straightforward 💐 (though I’m also very much of the belief that having children is not the be all and end all)
If im honest I had a bumpy upbringing and rushed into having children to ‘fix’ my own issues around not having the family I needed as a child. I think that’s quite common unfortunately. I just had a desperate need to love my children and give them the best possible life. It was probably mis-placed confidence but I was young and I muddled through but it wasn’t ideal.