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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I find being outside in the garden intense

154 replies

vamper · 28/05/2023 09:11

My husband says I'm a vampire... I prefer to be indoors with the curtains closed. I do enjoy the garden a little bit, but if it's too hot, I can't be out there for long.

Even under the parasol. If there's a breeze it's OK. But I do find it quite bright and exhausting to be out there for too long.

I'm happy to be in the sun when I'm on holiday by the pool or at the beach, as you can go and cool off properly. I prefer the pool as it's not as exhausting as the beach. But I mix it up and go to the beach for a bit sometimes. The whole day at the beach is a lot, but a couple of hours is fine.

I could never just go to a park and sit in the blazing sun for example. I used to be able to when I was younger. Am I just getting old ?

I prefer spring and summer. It's definitely my season of choice. But I do struggle with the brightness and heat if I'm sitting out for too long and prefer to be inside for most of the time. Right now the curtains are drawn because I'm keeping the heat out, but I quite like that it's a bit darker in here than usual. Bright light is just too much for my eyes sometimes

Am I a vampire ? Or just heading towards middle age. I'm not 40 yet.

OP posts:
AmbleInAnnBoleyn · 28/05/2023 09:14

All joking aside please consider consulting your optician/ophthalmologist. Aversion to light might be an eye health/medical thing.

Ragwort · 28/05/2023 09:14

I think it's just you, I am mid 60s and love being in the garden in the sunshine ... I am eating my breakfast in the sun now. But maybe you have sensitive skin/eyes and it's just too much for you. Personally I love feeling the sun on my body. I've got to go to an indoor activity soon and am already calculating how many hours of sunshine I will have left in the day Grin.

Oysterbabe · 28/05/2023 09:15

I love sunny days but don't want to be in the sun. Pretty normal I think. If there's no shade I'll stay inside.

ApolloandDaphne · 28/05/2023 09:17

I don't like being in the direct sun and never have. We don't go on beach type holidays anymore. I am a shade, sunglasses and cool breeze sort of gal. I don't think it's that unusual.

UndercoverCop · 28/05/2023 09:18

It's rare it gets hot enough to feel like this in the UK, maybe for a week or so a year. Generally it's sunny, bright but warm rather than stiflingly hot. Today here is sunny, bright and breezy, it's only 14 degrees so a bit chilly to be honest.
I have walked through the Medina in Marrakech in the summer, that was unbearable it felt like inhaling directly from a hair dryer

Cam22 · 28/05/2023 09:20

I get you. Autumn is my favourite season with its subdued tones and its freshness. Summer is too much: it’s too light, too bright and there is too much colour.

lonelylou09 · 28/05/2023 09:20

I'm the same! I used to love summer and blazing sun and always be in the garden topless with baby oil on. Now I'm 43 and I can barely sit out for 10 minutes in the shade if it's hot. I've popped in on 2 friends this week for a catch up and both insisted we sit in the garden in the sun. Both times I've felt like a melting snowman and had to come home after for a lie down.
I find it too bright and too hot. I was wondering if it's my age, something to do with regulating body temperature being premenopausal or I'm just a boring old fart now?

redrobininmygarden · 28/05/2023 09:20

you're not alone. I prefer dry cloudy days. I don't like sitting in the garden. I don't mind going on walk but not a beach person like you. I have eye condition called astigmatism, not sure that's why I don't like brightness but I love looking through the window not experience it outside

Itmustbenaptime · 28/05/2023 09:24

I have postural tachycardia syndrome and it makes me feel dizzy and unwell in heat and bright light. I have it severely, but probably had a tendency to a mild version of it all my life without it being a problem. It often goes along with having bendy joints, hayfever and being neurodivergent, and can be worse post-Covid. Just mentioning as I have a physiological setup that makes heat and bright light create adrenaline, making me feel stressed and dizzy. Maybe you do to, whether for the same reason or just for another reason about how your body is wired? Definitely don't accept being teased about or feeling somehow guilty about vampire tendencies!

Original poster
vamper · 28/05/2023 09:26

lonelylou09 · 28/05/2023 09:20

I'm the same! I used to love summer and blazing sun and always be in the garden topless with baby oil on. Now I'm 43 and I can barely sit out for 10 minutes in the shade if it's hot. I've popped in on 2 friends this week for a catch up and both insisted we sit in the garden in the sun. Both times I've felt like a melting snowman and had to come home after for a lie down.
I find it too bright and too hot. I was wondering if it's my age, something to do with regulating body temperature being premenopausal or I'm just a boring old fart now?

Omg this is exactly how I felt the other day when a colleague wanted to have a work meeting in the blazing sun and I was dressed in all black clothes too. I felt so dizzy and like I was about to throw up, but I didn't want to say anything

OP posts:
CeriB82 · 28/05/2023 09:26

If its too hot and bright I prefer to be inside. I don’t do beach holidays as I find sitting in the sun boring.

i love a walk in the sun, but don’t want to sit in it.

love winter though

Flippersmum · 28/05/2023 09:28

AmbleInAnnBoleyn · 28/05/2023 09:14

All joking aside please consider consulting your optician/ophthalmologist. Aversion to light might be an eye health/medical thing.

Yes, this.
Also eye dryness can cause it and is helped by OTC eye drops. Are you on any antidepressants as these can dry out the eyes?

Cam22 · 28/05/2023 09:29

CeriB82 · 28/05/2023 09:26

If its too hot and bright I prefer to be inside. I don’t do beach holidays as I find sitting in the sun boring.

i love a walk in the sun, but don’t want to sit in it.

love winter though

I hate the very idea of a beach holiday or a poolside one, even. I find them excruciatingly tedious. We prefer wandering around cities, galleries and so on.

Original poster
vamper · 28/05/2023 09:29

Itmustbenaptime · 28/05/2023 09:24

I have postural tachycardia syndrome and it makes me feel dizzy and unwell in heat and bright light. I have it severely, but probably had a tendency to a mild version of it all my life without it being a problem. It often goes along with having bendy joints, hayfever and being neurodivergent, and can be worse post-Covid. Just mentioning as I have a physiological setup that makes heat and bright light create adrenaline, making me feel stressed and dizzy. Maybe you do to, whether for the same reason or just for another reason about how your body is wired? Definitely don't accept being teased about or feeling somehow guilty about vampire tendencies!

Ah I see. I'll check that out. I do have some medical issues too. The condition doesn't respond well to the heat at all. Perhaps it's the condition rearing its ugly head. It's not always the first thing I think of. Denial probably.

OP posts:
Original poster
vamper · 28/05/2023 09:30

@Cam22 it would kill me to wonder around cities in summer. I prefer a beach holiday in summer for sure.

OP posts:
BelindaBears · 28/05/2023 09:30

Cam22 · 28/05/2023 09:20

I get you. Autumn is my favourite season with its subdued tones and its freshness. Summer is too much: it’s too light, too bright and there is too much colour.

I feel this too. I basically wear sunglasses from about April onwards, the brightness is too much.

Original poster
vamper · 28/05/2023 09:31

@Flippersmum no I'm not on anti depressants and my eyes never feel dry. I don't Even know what dry eyes feel like. I don't think I've ever had it. I could be wrong ..

OP posts:
Willmafrockfit · 28/05/2023 09:31

i went to an outdoor pool and hated it, it was so bright.
there is a new road at the shopping centre, it is white, again, i can't bear it in the sunshine.

lonelylou09 · 28/05/2023 09:32

@vamper I think we both need to get our big girl pants on and say..oh it's too hot for me at the moment and get them to sit in! And tbh if your not prepared for sunbathing and have sunscreen ect on then your going to burn (like I did) and sweat and be red..not very pleasant!

LabelleLabelle · 28/05/2023 09:34

I also have astigmatism and don’t like it bright. I can’t see well. I do wear sunglasses but it can be a bit too intense

JMSA · 28/05/2023 09:34

Are you an indoorsy person in general, OP? Or is it just the hot weather that makes you this way? I prefer being indoors regardless.

BertieBotts · 28/05/2023 09:35

You might be a bit sensory defensive? I find this too. There are months where it's just too bright. I can't cope with summer heat nor winter cold so it's a limited part of the year that I'm actually happy outside which is a shame. I find wind particularly troublesome and insects don't help.

Thepeopleversuswork · 28/05/2023 09:41

God I can’t imagine living like this. Being indoors in warm weather makes me feel so stressed and miserable I feel on the edge of a panic attack. Cannot relate at all.

I always associated this with depression.

Yetisrus · 28/05/2023 09:41

I love the sun but I can't just sit and do nothing or even read as I get bored easily. I have to be physically doing something even just pottering about tidying up. So I inevitably end up back indoors doing something.

Holidays i can't just sit by the pool, it bores the life out of me.

KnickerlessParsons · 28/05/2023 09:41

Have you tried wearing sunglasses OP?