Toddler reassurance,sleep deprived

[Needsleep0]

Hi everyone,NC for this.

Toddler is 18 months old and I'm just looking for some reassurance/comparisons that he is where he needs to be or if he's behind his peers in some things. I'm doubting his development because he's still not sleeping through and we're all severely sleep deprived. Everyone I speak to had great sleepers from an early age and I worry now I'm doing something wrong and actually it's my fault. This anxiety has now got me questioning his development in general. Just looking for some general reassurance or advice on where we're at and how to improve it.

He is a confident walker, can say basic phrases, eg 'mummy sleep', 'dog woof', can follow basic instructions like 'bring me your shoes', can count to three reliably and make all the animal sounds when he sees various animals in books. He can help sing songs by adding on the last word of each sentence if songs he recognises and 'dances' when he hears music. He can identify primary colours and knows how to put shapes into the shape sorter toy. He can ask for his favourite foods if he fancies them and feeds himself with a spoon (with some mess obviously!) . Should he be doing more?

I felt he was where he ought to be at this stage but the sleep issue has really got me worrying about the possible underlying causes. What am I doing wrong? Why won't be sleep through and get he rest he needs? Is his other development normal or is he behind in other areas? Any comments welcome, fire time mum and super anxious.

Neither of mine slept through until they were 2. I don't think it's that unusual.

Mine were 3 before sleeping through consistently.

Yours sounds quite advanced, in fact -
mine was more around 21/22 months when he did those things, and he’s fine.

But I did have a lot of problems with sleep. He got into bad habits that became hard to break, and so i did sleep train. He still wakes up very early which I hope he grows out of, though!

Yours is doing more than my DS2 was at that age - and he's now a bright boy of 13yo doing very well at school. He was a terrible sleeper too!

My child was four before they slept through reliably. In my experience, it's pretty unusual for toddlers to sleep through.

Mine was 5 before they slept through reliably. Now seems to be catching up on all that sleep and could sleep for England. Currently at or exceeding expectations and is happy.

Your 18 month old can do a lot more than mine (which I'm not worried about) - we don't have any words yet and just one generic animal noise! Also a minimum of 3 wake ups a night, often more. I've agonised over sleep a lot as I'm constantly shattered but from what I've read it is normal to not sleep through, tough but not an issue. This infomatic was interesting

Majority of children start sleeping through reliably around 2.5yo. Mine was closer to 3, because we needed to gently break the habit of him coming to our bed if he woke up in the night (DH would take him back to his room and sleep there, as I was heavily pregnant).

Hang in there, it gets better.

Sounds like your 18m old can do more than my 21m old who still wakes reliably during the night and needs boob to even get to sleep.

Some days I'm worried other days I remind myself he isn't even 2.

I wouldn't worry at all if sleep is your only concern

Your 18 month old is perfectly fine and probably ahead of his peers in some aspects. Mine still do not sleep through reliably and they are 6 and 8 - they were both awful sleepers and are perfectly healthy in every shape and form.

Also, please ignore people whose children slept through from an early age - they will not appreciate the sleep deprivation or the anxiety that comes with it. It does get better I promise, you can do this.