I just don't feel it's appropriate, or necessary. She has plenty of friends of her own, and Facebook's a social networking site. Bearing in mind that her and my husband don't have a social network, I really don't see the relevance. My husband thinks I'm being petty and a bit unreasonable, and can't see the harm.
I disagree, and whilst I can see his point of view, the point is, it's a way of her intruding on his life, excluding me - something which she has tried to do in the past.
Her and my husb get on well enough - their relationship is all about their daughter now, which is great; her and I get along politely; and we all (including her new husband) seem to have reached a level of comfortable communication, where the important thing is the wellbeing of their daughter, my step daughter.
Lots of stuff has happened on the journey to sorting through the complex relationship we all have, and the ex wife has been pretty inconsiderate to my feelings at times.
For a bit of background: some of the things which have happened have been her refusing to call our housephone, only calling my husbands mobile; being overly touchy-feely with my husband on handovers; dragging him away to discuss "private matters" when we've been watching their daughter horse-ride on occasion.
But with my husbands reassurance, we have tackled each issue / situation gently and reasonably, establishing boundaries as we go along.
She lives in France, with her husband, daughter and their son, so we only really see them at handover times (school hols), and speak over the phone.
And here lies the problem - I don't really have a relationship with her as such, other than for both wanting her daughter to be happy. Other than that, I don't know her, she doesn't know me (other than via my husband).
We rarely get the chance to speak, and I'm not bothered about becoming her best friend - I'm quite happy with the level of politeness we have. We can converse on the phone about her daughter, ask how the other one's doing etc etc.
But when an issue such as this comes up, I feel it's bloody inconsiderate, and don't feel I have enough of a relationship with her to voice my upset.
I don't understand why she wants to add my husband as a friend to her Facebook account. I just think it's a bit weird, and feel that it's an exclusion.
She, on the other hand, has probably not even thought twice about it. But that's the thing - she never does think about it.
How do you tell someone you think they're being inconsiderate when you don't know them, yet are so intertwined? And if she doesn't think she's doing anything wrong anyway, then is it worth even bringing it up?
I am 33 weeks preggers, so a bit hormonal, but am I being unreasonable?