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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Night shift routine

24 replies

StreetSpirit3 · 27/05/2023 09:37

DH works nights as part of his job (7pm-7am) He works other shifts too. Just wondering what the “norm” is for the day before a night shift? DH sleeps all night, gets up at 7 then is off to bed again at 9.30am (he wakes at 4pm) AIBU to think that most people only nap for a few hours in the afternoon before the first night shift and not the whole day? We’ve got a young family so it would be nice to spend time together in the morning. I did question how early he was going to bed, considering he had only just got out of bed. Obviously I’m not the one working nights though. Just curious what others do?

OP posts:

DustyLee123 · 27/05/2023 09:38

Working nights is shit. Let him sleep.

LunaLoveFood · 27/05/2023 09:41

Dp works nights as part of a rolling shift pattern and really struggles with the first night. He's tried everything from staying up all day to trying to sleep for just a couple of hours.
He now is in the routine of getting up early about 5am ish and going back to bed by 10.30 at the latest and then gets up to go to work about 5pm ish (he works 6-6.

DiIIy · 27/05/2023 09:45

My DH sleeps all night then gets up handy and goes back to bed by around 12pm. Wakes at 4pm ready for his first night shift.

DancingWithYouInTheSummerRain · 27/05/2023 09:48

My DH stays up until about midnight the night before his night shift, and then gets up 9.30-10am the day after, depending on how he feels he may go back for a hour or 2 at around 2pm.

Night shifts are awful for the worker and not great for the family, but needs must.

Original poster

StreetSpirit3 · 27/05/2023 09:56

Thanks everyone. It’s nice to see how others manage night shifts. Absolutely hate him working them - especially all weekend but they are an unavoidable part of his job.

OP posts:

Inapicklee · 27/05/2023 10:02

If he can get that much sleep, let him! Nights are awful

Moraxella · 27/05/2023 10:04

I get up early then nap about 2 for 1.5hrs. If I could sleep longer I definitely would.

shivawn · 27/05/2023 10:05

I think it's different for everyone, I normally try to sleep from around 13:30-17:45 on the day before my first night. I might not sleep all the time but I make myself stay in bed anyway. I know other people I work with who don't sleep at all before the first night and then they're like zombies from 4:00 onwards.

drinkyourtea12 · 27/05/2023 10:08

@DustyLee123
This ! He needs to do whatever he needs to do. We all handle them differently. I usually can only nap in the afternoon for about an hour, wish I could get more than that.

trulyunruly01 · 27/05/2023 10:10

My shifts start later but on the day leading up to the shift I stay pretty low-key and close to home, then go for a sleep from 6pm till 8.30pm, leave for work 45 mins later. It feels more like 'getting up for work' that way.
On my day between two nights I sleep 5 hrs till early afternoon, potter about, then go for another nap 6pm to 8.30.

shivawn · 27/05/2023 10:13

I'm impressed he can sleep most of the day less than 2 hours after waking from a full night's sleep! Working nights is so bad for your health, if he can sleep that much during the day then it's probably better for him long term.

Does he plan to do nights for the rest of his career? This is something I've been thinking about recently, I'm a nurse so nights are part and parcel of the job but some people do manage to get out of them due to their age (over 40 seems to be the magic number) or family obligations. If I can drop them in 5 or 6 years times then I will although I'll miss the extra money, I just don't think it's worth the health risks long term.

Starlightexpress122 · 27/05/2023 10:15

For my first night shift, I have 3hrs sleep. However, I don't do 12hrs like your husband (I do 10-6)
Night shifts are absolutely awful and our life span is shortened cos of it, so I'd be kind and let him sleep.

Createausername1970 · 27/05/2023 10:17

Everyone is different. I did nights at a supermarket a few years ago. 9 p.m. to 7a.m. on Fridays Saturdays Sundays and Mondays. Initially I tried to get a few hours sleep during the day on Fridays before my first shift, but after a few weeks stopped doing this, it didn't work for me. So I just kept Fridays clear as much as I could, and went off to work in the evening without a nap during the day.

Tittyfilarious81 · 27/05/2023 10:20

My dh works nights 7-7 , he goes bed about 1 am the night before then sleeps till between 12 and 1 the day after . He usually stays up after that but if he does feel absolutely knackered he'll go back to nap between 4 and 5 . This has been the routine for years even when our kids were really small and I've always just let him do what he needs to do as working nights must be absolutely shit .

PinkFootstool · 27/05/2023 10:20

I used to be in a progressive pattern, so never into a night shift without a day or late shift the day before. So if I'd done a 7-7 day, I'd have 24hrs before the 7-7 night.

I'd usually be up late that night, at least midnight or 2-3 am to try to push me round. Sleep until late morning / lunch and go back to bed for a nap from 4-5ish. Do the shift, sleep from about 9/10-5 and go off to work again.

However, I was single and no kids so could please myself.....

polkadotdalmation · 27/05/2023 10:23

Before a night shift I used to try to get a couple of hours around 3-5 pm Could never manage much sleep and just survived the night on coffee, but slept 7 or so hours the next day before the night shift.

ZombiePara · 27/05/2023 10:27

If I could manage sleeping all day before a night shift I'd be so happy! The only way I do is wi th a sleeping tablet, and that makes the night so much better (and consequently the following nights better as well.

I struggle to get more than a lie in to 11am/lunchtime pre night shift, and then spend my first night struggling through due to lack of sleep..

I understand why it sucks for you, but it really is havoc wreaking on your body so if he can sleep better... it is sadly better.

feathers7 · 27/05/2023 10:35

Am working tonight and tomorrow night. Today will be a normal day, but I'll have a nap for up to an hour around 4.30pm. 13 hour shifts, so I will sleep all day tomorrow (9.30-4.30)
Nights are difficult, and everyone has their own way of trying to manage them. I've been working nights for years (midwife) and they are getting harder as I get older-am 50 now..
Can't do my job without working them though!

Floralnomad · 27/05/2023 10:36

I worked nights for years ( nurse ) and when I used to do a few in a row I treated the day of the first night as a usual day , got up at normal time and no napping during the day . After the night I did whatever little jobs needed doing ( school run / walked dog ) then got to bed by about 9:30 and was up by 2 at the latest and then back to work as usual in the evening . It worked for me as when I was a student I used to sleep loads when I did nights and then found that my life was just work and sleep and I consciously changed that so that the night working didn’t mean I didn’t have a life .

vodkaredbullgirl · 27/05/2023 10:39

I work 12 hour nights, my sleep pattern is still crap after 5 yrs of doing them. Working tonight so will have a few hours sleep before work. When I finish tomorrow and go to bed about 9am till 4 if I'm lucky.

Goldencup · 27/05/2023 10:42

I did night shifts for years 8:30-8:30 my dream would be sleeping from 3 till 6:30 /7 before the first one. Sadly I usually had the school run so had to make do with 1-2:45 :(

FrenchBoule · 27/05/2023 12:08

7pm to 7am here.
Depending on whether kids are at school or not I’ll get at least 2 hrs before work (4 max).
I only work 2 nights a week though.

Nightshifts are horrible 🙁

AnotherVice · 27/05/2023 12:48

I understand why you're put out OP. Before my first night I usually get up at 7:30am and take kids to school, stay awake all day and then nap from around 3-5pm, then get up and have dinner before going to work. That's if I'm lucky. Some days I don't get to nap at all.

Ambi · 27/05/2023 12:53

Dh does 2 days then 2 nights 6-6. The day before his night, he has a big lie in in the morning and he's counting the hours until he leaves in the evening, powers through his night shift until he can fall back into bed the following morning.

Its really tough with young kids and night shift workers. Luckily I now have lazy teens that get up later than DH after he's worked all night.

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