Implication I’m lying?

[Lostwifehelp]

I don’t know whether I’m being sensitive or whether this is something to feel annoyed about.

My husband and I are separating amicably. I’ve always got on with his family. His sister and mum continue to message me to check I’m ok and tell me they are here for me. Everyone in the family knows it’s not acrimonious.

My husband had a health issue recently which he’s in denial about. I messaged his brother about this because he is a doctor (husband is aware so no issues there). My brother in law then messaged my husband saying “I don’t know what’s going on. You should know this is what your wife is saying about you.” To me this implies that I could be lying and spreading false rumours about him, which I found offensive. I have never done anything to warrant that kind of characterisation.

My mother in law would like the whole family to get together in the next few weeks for a celebration (mostly so the kids can spend time with each other) and has asked me to join. I like her so I would have done it, but I don’t really feel like seeing my brother in law after this. I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive though?

You need to start thinking or husband as your ex husband OP. His health is not your concern anymore. It's time to detach.

You're probably right, it is overkill. I wouldn't have sent that first message in a million years so I suppose that second message is just me backpedalling even though it's not my situation!

Well, ex mother in law's advice was poor and I doubt your ex-BIL was even aware that you were contacting him at her suggestion.

Think about it like this. Your brother is getting a divorce and out of the blue his ex messages you to tell you about a supposed serious health condition that your brother has never mentioned to you. I know that, regardless of how amicable the split was claimed to be I'd see that as a potential attempt at shit stirring and I'd want my brother to know about it and check in with him about it.

It seems that you have misinterpreted your ex-BILs understandable concern and skepticism about your behaviour and communication as an accusation of lying.

I think you need to really look at establishing different boundaries now you are separating and perhaps have a think about how others might perceive your actions a bit more.