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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this me or him?

20 replies

KeysUnlocked · 27/05/2023 00:55

Long story short, my DP gets a gob on when I fall asleep often of an evening.

We don't live together, I'm a f/time working, single-mum of 3 and he doesn't work / no children.

I really don't want to be falling asleep but am constantly exhausted 😩

Is he valid in his feelings of frustration and anger?? HmmSad

OP posts:
AndTheSurveySays · 27/05/2023 00:58

He sounds like a dickhead.

barmycatmum · 27/05/2023 00:59

Wtf?! No! If you’re tired, you need sleep. He needs to leave you be.

Maves · 27/05/2023 00:59

He doesn't work? Fuck him off

MadEyeMoodysEye · 27/05/2023 01:00

He sounds like a wanker.
What doea he bring to your life?
Why doesn't he work?

Dedodee · 27/05/2023 01:00

Why doesn’t he work?
Hes an idiot.

AndTheSurveySays · 27/05/2023 01:03

I hope you're not one of those women that continues to stay with a useless, unpleasant idiot because you're scared of being alone or some such nonsense excuse.

Why did you even get with someone that doesn't have a job? Seriously, I don't understand why women (especially with children) decide unemployed men are a good idea to partner with.

Meggymoo777 · 27/05/2023 01:51

He doesn't work and has the audacity to get angry at you for being tired and falling asleep??? 🤣 What a fucking loser he is, and he's obviously made you feel so bad you felt the need to start a thread and reach out for opinions... you're a full time working, single mother of 3 for christs sake! I only have 1 child and would fall asleep standing if I could... just dump this pathetic excuse for a man

BitOutOfPractice · 27/05/2023 04:37

I fell asleep on the sofa last night, watching our favourite programme. I was knackered. When I roused, DP said “hey darling you’re tired, why don’t you go to bed, we can watch this tomorrow.” He came in to say goodnight and brought me a glass of water. That’s what is a normal reaction. Your DP’s anger is not.

Original poster
KeysUnlocked · 27/05/2023 08:24

Thank you all, I just wanted to be certain it was him in the wrong and not me, as he has a really clever way of turning it round to be my fault Sad

OP posts:
Babsexxx · 27/05/2023 08:26

Why are you with a absolute dosser?! Lol what exactly are his plans?? In life… accept breathing? I’d be done no way could I be with someone that lazy.

BitOutOfPractice · 27/05/2023 08:28

Ah @KeysUnlocked he’s one of those? You’ve read about gaslighting I assume?

Nevermind31 · 27/05/2023 08:29

KeysUnlocked · 27/05/2023 08:24

Thank you all, I just wanted to be certain it was him in the wrong and not me, as he has a really clever way of turning it round to be my fault Sad

He manipulates you, is angry you are tired and doesn’t work.
why are you with him? Your free time is precious and yet you are spending it with someone who is just another dependent when you already have 3? You can do much better than that

Babyhustwabtstodance · 27/05/2023 08:31

So you're spending time together and you keep falling asleep?

What do you mean 'gets a gob on him'?

kirsty2023 · 27/05/2023 08:33

KeysUnlocked · 27/05/2023 08:24

Thank you all, I just wanted to be certain it was him in the wrong and not me, as he has a really clever way of turning it round to be my fault Sad

Tell him to piss off and also say well I work full time and look after 3 kids u try it and see what he's got to say

Tarantallegra · 27/05/2023 08:33

Throw this man in the bin.

Yellowdays · 27/05/2023 10:00

What on earth is the matter that you can't decide whether this is unreasonable? Surely you do know it is.

Createausername1970 · 27/05/2023 10:36

If he was worth his salt he would see you are exhausted and be offering to do stuff for you in his spare time, like doing some shopping or picking you up from work etc. He doesn't do this, he sees you are exhausted and moans because it doesn't suit him.

It's not ideal and doesn't bode well long term.

Merryoldgoat · 27/05/2023 10:38

How do these obviously able intelligent women end up with these losers?

@KeysUnlocked

GET RID - he’ll suck the life out of you.

Oysterbabe · 27/05/2023 10:47

You need to raise your standards and tell him to get fucked.

polkadotdalmation · 27/05/2023 11:04

What do you actually get from this relationship? Maybe another child if your lucky, that you'll have to juggle with the other 3 and your job while he sits around in his (no doubt) games machine all day. Stop being a mug.

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