For giving my son the responsibility to find a prom suit for himself

[carolnotduffy]

DS has his Prom in less than a month and is currently knee-deep in exam stress due to GCSEs. We went shopping for suits at Next back in the Easter holidays and he picked one out that he seemed fine with. Last week he approached me saying he was not satisfied at all with it, felt that I had put him under pressure to buy the suit and had not given him any choice whatsoever. To be fair, the store we looked in had a limited range of suits. He had also lost the receipt, so we couldn't return it. Needless to say I was irritated as the suit cost around £100 and he has waited this long to tell me. I told him in response that he was responsible for finding a replacement for it and that he had to pay for it with his allowance to make up for the money he wasted from me. He recently turned 16 and I believe he should understand the impact of his actions, but he's been complaining that he can't because he's preoccupied with exams.

If you take it back to next with proof of payment, say through a bank statement, they should exchange it for you.

If that's the case then I owe you a huge thank you for relieving me, but are you sure it would be eligible to be returned as it was purchased nearly two months ago?

Does it still have the tags on it? If it does just say you bought it , can’t find the receipt and would like to change it for another/get money back. Don’t mention you had it for 2 months.

next are normally good with returns.

Blimey - give the kid a break - he's only 16 & up to his neck in GCSEs! Just hire him a prom suit.

You've admitted yourself that the store didn't have a great selection but he was expected to get something. Sounds quite unfair, to be honest.

If he was so unsatisfied with it, why did he agree to buy it and then not say anything at all about it until now? If he seemed fine with it at the time why the sudden change of mind 2 months later?

Just wondering whether something else has happened to make him want something different - seeing friends getting different styles or something? Has he shown someone and they've not liked it?

If it's just that he's changed his mind I don't think it's terrible, I change my mind about stuff all the time and end up taking it back... but he should have said something way sooner, and because he didn't, now he's stuck with it.

If he's stressed with his exams then I'd say although you're not BU to say he has to find and fund a new one, you ARE BU to put all the onus on him at this particularly important time if this will make him feel more stressed. If it were my DC I'd want to prioritise them being able to focus on exams. The money and irritance could slide in this circumstance for me.

Could you ask him to name shops he wants to look in and go to them all in one day? Or drop him off and give him some money to go on his own? Then he's not pressured and has a budget.

Then I would take the suit back, ask for a gift voucher and then use the money to buy your own next lot of clothes maybe?

Or say you'll take him but he has to pay for it unless he can exchange it for a different one in next?

If it’s still got tags on they might take it back, it’s worth a try. I think you are being hard on him anyway, prom is a big deal, he’s stressed with exams, and he’s 16. If this is the worst mistake he has made this year then you are one insanely lucky person. Give the kid a break, were you perfect at 16? Also how much suit buying experience did he have before this one, did he choose next and to not look anywhere else?

Next are really good at taking stuff back if tags still on. They can track transaction from tag & refund. Cut him some slack, they are only young and Covid has made them younger.

I've managed to return stuff people bought for my baby without a recipe. They put the money on to a gift card and I then used that to get clothes when I needed them. It's worth a try.

*without a receipt even!

I would definitely take it to Next and see what they say. I would expect a gift card with the money back maybe.
I do understand what you’re saying but I can also see how he felt he just had to lick something and is now having second thoughts. I’d see if I could help him out a bit.

If you can afford it, I'd cut him some slack.
As pp mentioned, maybe he has realised that everyone else had gone for a different style.
It's a big thing in a 16 year old life, boy or girl.

Think of what £100 could be better spent on, than for a one-off occasion. I would not spend a penny more, if you get money back then you are fortunate, worth a try with the bank statement.

If I was in retail I would be suspicious that the suit had been worn and was being returned to make it a free loan in all but name. The shop may think differently.

Next will be able to tell where and when you bought it by the barcode when they scan it.

I took a faulty dress and I was just looking for the receipt in my bag when the lady gave me a full run down of when I'd bought it whilst simultaneously chucking it over her shoulder and refunding it back on my card (without my card). The whole process took seven seconds max.

I think yabu, we've all probably bought something unsuitable 'under pressure' and regretted it when we've got it home/shown friends etc.
I will be taking my son suit shopping next weekend and I'm dreading it! He has been looking online for months and the ones he likes are hundreds of pounds!
Hopefully they will let you return the one you have and get him a new one.