To think nursing isn’t for me?

[Thatimposter]

Would love some advice from other nursing/healthcare workers on this

I’ve been in healthcare in various junior roles for nearly six years.
my current job I have been in for about 18 months and before I get to the next bit of my dilemma I want to emphasise that I really love my current job. It’s interesting, varied, the team are great, the hours work for our family, I am always getting great feedback from my manager and patients…

BUT

I have started to train as a nurse (staying in my current ward) after working in more junior clinical roles. Every decision I have to make, I second guess. It feels like every training session I go to we hear these horror stories of “this student nurse was brought to court for making this mistake”, “doing this will cost your job” etc - and sometimes for stuff that seem like quite minor things, which could happen to anyone/like there is no room for human error.

it is FREAKING ME OUT! I feel like I’m constantly on eggshells, I don’t want to upset anybody and constantly second guess what I’m saying to people. I have dreams where I’ve been put in prison for a tiny mistake or that I’ve been sacked, or that someone has died and I get blamed. I’m so paranoid of getting something wrong I’m constantly rechecking and it’s making my work very slow. I do also have really good moments on shift and still would say generally I love the job but the negative feeling is starting to increase more and more.

I have been diagnosed with anxiety, for reference.

I am now 5 weeks pregnant. If all works out with the pregnancy, I’m tempted to quit rather than go on maternity leave, the dread is building up that much about work.

do any other nurses/people in similar roles feel like this? Am I being over dramatic? Will it go away eventually?

honestly at the moment I just don’t know if I will handle the responsibility as a registered nurse without just being crippled by fear of getting something wrong

A certain level of anxiety is to be expected. However I wonder if you are being treated as supernumerary (which you should be) working predominantly under the supervision of registered nurses?

sometimes if people are HCAs and then go on to be a student nurse in the same area, it blurs the boundaries a bit.

in 28 years of nursing I have never personally known a student nurse taken to court for making a mistake…
if you did something deliberate such as assaulting a patient then yes, but I’m struggling to imagine a scenario where if you were being supervised and mentored effectively that you would make such a serious mistake?

I also wonder if (like many of us) early pregnancy is making you feel very tired/vulnerable/sick? I had a lot of anxiety in my first pregnancy as I kept worrying I might be involved in a work incident that might harm the baby. I was also struggling with intense sickness and still processing a previous loss.

I’d suggest not making any hasty decisions at this stage.

I would say have a chat with your superior / colleague. See what they say. They may have some good, sound advice for you. Could be a really common thing, could be something they can help with.

Sorry to hear this, but the fact that you're worrying about making a mistake suggests you're unlikely to be the type of nurse that gets hauled in front of the NMC.

I don't think you should quit nursing training, as you could eventually get a sideways move if it turns out that patient-facing care isn't for you.

Hang in there, is my advice...

I think a certain amount of anxiety is natural but that normally comes when you qualify and the buck actually does stop with you!

Ive been a nurse more than 20 years and now, everything really does stop with me as I’m the ward manager. It’s fine though, we work hard, do a good job. When things do go wrong we reflect and learn. Yes I get stressed but not generally that I’m going to be put in prison. I think you learn that generally it’s the Trust that comes under fire if major mistakes are made. Blame culture hasn’t gone away but it’s not like it used to be. My experience is all
men health however, can’t comment on general nursing.

Nursing is brutal but if you have worked in healthcare you know that and it sets you on really good stead. Having said that I don’t know how anyone could do their training with a young baby! I know people who have but that’s got to be tough!

I've never known a nurse hauled over the coals for a mistake in about ten years of nursing. Don't forget you have indemnity insurance and as long as you document clearly and can justify your decisions, you've done nothing 'wrong'

You sound like a conscientious student nurse and the sort of person we need in the profession, you'll relax into your new role x

This is your anxiety talking and you definitely need to get help with it. It’s not healthy or a normal level of worry.

No it’s not something I generally think of, I work within my scope of practice as we all should. I’ve never known anyone be hauled in front of the NMC in my 20 years of nursing. We all make errors, we’re human and you will too. But it’s about learning from errors and how we can prevent them next time.

I do feel like the training team exaggerates things to “scare” you into doing things a certain way… at least that seems to be the general consensus within my cohort group. They are much more relaxed but it obviously works well on me!

without giving too much away I’ve gone down the apprenticeship route so will be able to pause my training for two years (or something like that) as long as I continue to work in the trust and I can keep my part time hours, which is great. I work in a highly specialised department where the team are very close and a little more relaxed than other wards I’ve been on. I don’t know whether it’s the contrast between that atmosphere and my training sessions that is putting me at odds.

My clinical skills trainer is very much a “one mistake and your career is over before it’s begun” kind of person so perhaps that’s just an approach that doesn’t work well for me but does for others.

In 20 years I’ve known 2 people go before the nmc. In both cases it was following a medication error, but neither time was it due to the error itself: both tried to lie/ destroy records and in one case destroy medication to cover up the errors, rather than take appropriate action to ensure patient safety. I’ve known many nurses make errors, and been involved in many investigations (as an investigator!) and the focus is always on improving systems/ training etc to prevent incidents happening again rather than trying to apportion blame.

This sounds really poor quality teaching, to me. You get students to do stuff right by training them thoroughly and accurately, not by terrifying then.

Honestly, the anxiety gets better with time. The first six months are the hardest! I'm 19 years in. And still love it.

I've known two people before the NMC but not for clinical mistakes.

I'm a nurse op, I've been qualified for 17 ish years. I've heard countless times its all about protecting our pins. I like to think we've moved on from a blame culture, and as another poster said it's about learning lessons and ensuring the same mistakes don't happen again. I've made mistakes, luckily nothing serious, and as long as you're open and honest and report any mistakes straight away then you should be fine. It's human nature to make mistakes, obviously we just need to ensure we act if we know something has gone wrong, and never cover anything up. I'm a bit like you, sometimes I feel slow with work as I have to do my checks so when I get home I can reassure myself I have given the correct drug for example.

I don't think it's for me to tell you if nursing is for you.

I can say that a degree of anxiety is normal (I have vivid memories of being sick in the gutter before going into work when I'd been qualified for about 8 months because I felt I couldn't do it) and does get better.

I think some of your worry thoughts are unrealistic - no one who's following policy and acting with good intent is going to prison or being struck off. People are probably telling you scare stories.

I think you should ask to see psychologist through HR to help find coping mechanisms for stress, and remember it’s humans minding humans, putting on that uniform doesn’t make you invincible. We ve all made errors, and two people are important, when an error happens, the patient whose safety needs to be checked, and you also need support. Tell your ward manager bout the trainer and the scare tactics.

10 years of being in healthcare and have worked alongside dozens and dozens of nurses as a band 2 and AHP student. Only ever known one to be hauled up to NMC - false allegation as far as I remember, and she’s still working as a top band 6, and one of the very best nurses I’ve ever worked with (seriously). You could argue the issue was management - the SCN was dreadful.

Sounds a bit silly but have you seen Georgie Carroll on Facebook - nurse in Australia I think who does a bit of stand up? One of her videos she says, ‘don’t worry if you fuck up, we all fuck up.’ which is absolutely true. It happens, you reflect (either informally or formally) and learn from it. You’re only human.

My most recent PE said to me, ‘if you’re anxious - before you go to the bedside, stop for 30 seconds, take three deep breaths, remind yourself what you need/want to do, and go from there.’ Sometimes that helps you just slow down, go in calmly and prevents minor mistakes I think.

This just isn’t true, every HCP will make a mistake at some point, we’re all human beings. Do you have a patient safety or governance team you could maybe spend a day with? See the sorts of things that do warrant investigation or just have a chat with them about the usual pathways that are followed if mistakes are identified? I’ve been a senior midwifery manager for 6 years and have only known one person who has been to the NMC, and that was for stealing patient medication. Usually if a mistake is identified the response ranges from a reflective discussion up to a supportive action plan, but it’s almost always aimed at keeping you in work and helping you to improve / learn from what happened. The culture in most places I have worked now also focuses less on the individual who made a mistake, and more on the culture of the unit / circumstances in which it happened, so we can ensure things are put in place to stop
it happening again. It sounds like your tutor is using unkind scare tactics, when what they’re saying isn’t based on reality.

Good luck with your pregnancy and with your training Xx

In over 20 years in Healthcare I've known 2 nurses be referred to the NMC. And honestly both of them were absolute shite, had had numerous warnings and attempts at retraining.

No-one expects a newly qualified nurse to be an expert and the great thing about nursing is there are so many different aspects to it there is something out there for everyone.