Thank you cards

[Maniranibani]

AIBU to think that my 8 year old DD’s friends should give thank you cards for their birthday presents?

Hmmm, I’m in two minds. We always send thank you cards to friends and family but classmates parents’ get a text message after the party.

Depends on the culture at your school. If she's been there since YR then you should have a good handle on the norm by now.

It depends really - did they already thank you when you gave the present?

My kids have never ever sent thank you cards to rriends for their presents. Always to family members and my friends etc, but never their own friends.

I usually just send a text to the individual parents after the party to thank them for coming and for the gift.

A text will do

It was thankyou texts between parents at my son's school and the child said thankyou on the day. To me, thankyou cards are for people you don't see to thank in person. Can't see why you need to do both.

We always do them but are in a minority. I’m a bit hmmm when there isn’t even a text but not something I’d lose sleep over.

We do them but as a PP said, most don't. I think it's polite to do it because the children don't open the presents at the party. So even though they say thank you when handed the gift, they don't know what it is yet.

I don’t think that’s the done thing. Usually an in person thank you to a text is the norm.

Did they say thanks at the time?
If so then I wouldn't expect another thank you card

Saying thank you when given the present is fine by me. A thank you is a thank you.

A thank you at the time of being given the gift or alternatively a text thank you is all we do. Who has time to write out thank you cards?! 🤣

Not after a party no. A generic "Laura had a lovely time, thanks for all the cards and gifts" on the group chat is adequate.

I'd say not in this day and age but a clear thank you I'd be happy with.

I wouldn't do it🤷🏽‍♀️

I would just say thank you to them or there parents should I see them in passing or my child would say thank you when they seen them

Yes you are. I am totally against the sending of cards for any occasion unless you live in a different country or something. What a waste of paper and time let alone money but sending a thank you card to an 8 year old child for giving a present you have bought on their behalf for another child for their birthday etc is absolutely mad.

Thank you cards are for people you can't thank in person when you receive or open the gift.

I hate thank you cards. I dont expect them, a text is nice and enough in my opinion.

No, they just needed to say thank you when the gift was given.

Presumably it's a gift in return for a party invite. If everyone keeps doing returns, when does it end?

I always used to do thank you cards but I think they are a thing of the past. This surprised me but have actually found it quite liberating! Both in terms of not having it on my list of things to do and also realising most people don't seem to want or value them anyway! Same with Christmas cards.

I definitely wouldn't expect to write or receive any for DS from friends (similar age). We still write them for elderly relatives because I think they appreciate them. I'd send a WhatsApp to parents of the friends.

The culture here is that the children open the gifts at the party and thank the gift giver at that time so in that case I would say no. But I know that sometimes y'all open the gifts after the party, after everybody's gone home. In that case I would say yes a thank you card or at least a little note or email is the polite thing to do.

I don't know anyone who does this. I don't.

Texts or a WhatsApp is the thing these days.

Not unless you've time travelled back to the '70s.

I don't think anyone under 60 sends thank you cards do they? Certainly not an 8 year old anyway.

With DD, I'd say thank you in person and if I had their number I would send a thank you text.

In my circles thank you cards are always for big celebrations such as weddings/confirmation/graduation where you can't thank the guest personally when receiving the gift. Wouldn't expect thank you cards from birthday parties, especially kids.