To feel sad my dd hasn’t got any friends

[Oooiwanna]

So my dad started reception in the autumn. She didn’t know any of the kids before she started. So it’s now May and she doesn’t seem to have made any proper friends. She talks about most of the girls in the class and that she played with them in school, but no real close friends or regular play date invites. Some of the girls seem to play together all the time but not my dd. Is that normal for first year of school?

Have you invited any children over?

has she been invited?

Parties?

It might be the culture of the school. My boys' primary they very rarely went to parties and I think they each went to a friend's once. It just wasn't the done thing at that school. Which to be honest I was quite pleased about as it saved me hosting other kids very often!

She's only 4/5. This is the age that children start to make friends. I thing worry about yet.

Is she happy?

Same with my daughter seems totally normal to me. She’s has friends and is very happy but only a few play dates now in year 1.

I think to get invited to play dates, you have to invite people first and then they'll return the favour.
It's worked for me 😊

Have you managed to had much interaction with the other parents? Could get chatting to them during pickup and arrange a play date for the kids. You could also ask the reception teachers if they've noticed the same thing as you. As other people have said, it might just be the culture of the school. Doesn't mean it needs to stay that way, you could ask dd if she has a friend she would like to ask over to play one day.

Have you invited? Been to parties? Did one?

At that age it's more about the parents arranging things.

How many children have you invited to your house? What have you organised with the other parents?

I used to tell my DM I had no friends at school, but the teacher would tell my DM I had lots of friends. What I meant was that my DM didn't socialise with the other mums, and I didn't go to anyone's house to play after school, because my DM worked and wasn't able to make connections with the other mums easily.

You haven't mentioned your DD in all this, I mean does she seem happy enough?

I think parents worry about this sort of thing way more than kids sometimes.

Look at who is picking up in the school yard. If it’s mostly grandparents and childminders that’s why there haven’t been any play dates. Most likely the parents work and aren’t around to facilitate play dates after school.

It happens very fast when it happens. Both my kids are the youngest in the class, so they were among the last ones to find their friends. The main thing is that she goes to school happily, though.
Have a bit of a think of whether she shows any signs of poor hearing, though. My daughter had variable hearing which has since resolved and joining in with games was tough even with 25% hearing loss.

Thanks everyone. And yes she seems happy enough going into school and she talks about lots of the other kids. I’ll try to arrange some
play dates. I guess I was just waiting for the invites first but I guess someone has to do the first hosting. Thanks for your suggestions x