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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel like this was a weird thing to do!

23 replies

Ihadanaccident · 26/05/2023 11:41

Changed username

I had a nasty accident whilst out a few weeks ago which resulted in me being in the hospital for a couple of weeks.

One of my friend's that I was with at the time showed me a couple of days ago some photos she had taken of me being attended to by the paramedics. My face wasnt in the photos although that's not to say she didnt take photos including my face but she did not show me.

I find this a violition of my privacy and am weirded out by it. I cant stop thinking about it. AIBU?

OP posts:
TallulahBetty · 26/05/2023 11:43

More context needed. Why did she take them? Did she think she was helping by getting evidence, if it wasn't your fault?

CoreyTaylorsSoggyTshirt · 26/05/2023 11:45

This is an awful thing to do, and I'm seeing it more and more.

Something awful happens and people whip out their phones and start snapping away.

Did you ask her why she took the photos? I would be asking her to delete them ASAP.

Original poster
Ihadanaccident · 26/05/2023 11:50

I don't see why she needed evidence as it was completely my fault. If it was for evidence, she did not say so but there were security who saw it happen and called paramedics etc.

I didnt ask why she took them as was shocked when she showed me. Also I didnt want to see photos as it was a horrible accident that I keep re-living.

OP posts:
bibbityboppityboo · 26/05/2023 11:54

That's really weird!

I sympathise, I was in a car accident last week and whilst standing on the side of the road with the others involved, in-front of several horrifically smashed up cars - some kid walked past filming us all and the scene. I was stood in shock and crying, lady next to me being treated by paramedics and police talking to us. Felt like some sort of horrible side show attraction!!

It's morbid. Peoples first thought is to start taking photos - in that situation I'd be worried about my friend, not taking photos.

Photos for evidence would be of the scene (I took some of the cars after the accident, about an hour after just to show damage) not of someone receiving treatment.

Blossomandbee · 26/05/2023 11:58

Yanbu but if its your friend can't you explain how you feel and ask why they took them?
It's an odd thing to do but lots of people seem to think everything should be photographed and documented these days.

Thegoodbadandugly · 26/05/2023 12:03

I really do not understand why people would do this and especially your friend and then to show you? It is a bit sick if you ask me.

curtainsfringe · 26/05/2023 12:17

I think it's awful & such a weird thing to do.

Seasonofthewitch83 · 26/05/2023 12:31

Honestly, the way we automatically snap pictures of ANYTHING these days, I don't think a lot of the time its even a conscious decision. She may have been in shock. Its got to be similar to how you always look at a car crash.

If shes your friend, just say you dont want to look at the pictures as they are upsetting.

Judgyjudgy · 26/05/2023 12:41

Yuck that gives me the creeps, I don't understand when people do this it's such a violation. The only excise is if she did it for evidently or something similar

Thehonestybox · 26/05/2023 12:44

It's kind of weird but I wouldn't get too bothered by it. Some people who experience medical attention are curious about what it looked like from the outside and actively want to see photos of themselves.

curtainsfringe · 26/05/2023 13:04

@Thehonestybox the person took photos of the OP not themselves...

lljkk · 26/05/2023 13:24

Did she share the pictures publicly?
fwiw, I like records of my gnarley injuries, so it wouldn't bother me in principle. And probably not if they were shown off widely.

I also joke a lot when I get bashed (ooh, look at this new gash/bruise/mangled body part), and am surprised that others don't when they get injured. Dark Sense of Humour.

You need to tell your friend that you don't like her having those records so that she deletes the pics for you.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 26/05/2023 15:32

That's really weird. The correct response in my view is to show concern for my friend, not whip my phone out
YANBU

FictionalCharacter · 26/05/2023 15:36

That’s pretty unpleasant and I’d ask her to delete the photos off her phone.

rbe78 · 26/05/2023 16:11

Not at all unreasonable, what a weird thing to do. I don't know why people feel the need to take photos of everything.

I was once one of the first few people at the scene of a fairly horrific motobike accident. Had to tell the coach party of holiday makers accross the road (not involved in anway in the crash) to fuck off and stop taking photos. So disgusting.

Original poster
Ihadanaccident · 26/05/2023 16:26

@bibbityboppityboo

Yes I understand taking photos for evidence but not of the injured person, morbid as you say.

Hope you are ok now!

OP posts:
PrincessHoneysuckle · 26/05/2023 16:31

Shes not a friend.Wtf does that.Weird fucker (her not you)

Mmhmmn · 26/05/2023 16:42

Blossomandbee · 26/05/2023 11:58

Yanbu but if its your friend can't you explain how you feel and ask why they took them?
It's an odd thing to do but lots of people seem to think everything should be photographed and documented these days.

This. It's moronic. It's like the bf s didn't happen unless it's photographed or videoed or put on bloody social media FFS. Very weird thing to do.

Twazique · 26/05/2023 17:51

Dear friend, I am really upset you took photos of me when I was so vulnerable. Please delete them. Many thanks, OP.

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 26/05/2023 18:00

I remember once I was at a work thing which involved a guided meditation. She asked us to really get into it, really get involved, focus, relax etc etc. Not my kind of thing usually but I went for it 100% as my friend was running this thing and I knew she was nervous. Spoke to her afterwards and she was really thrilled with how the whole session had gone. Went on Facebook that night for a scroll.. and she had posted multiple pictures of me ( and others) in the session looking slack jawed with my eyes closed.. with some caption about her 'smashing it at work today.' I was absolutely furious . Not in the same league as a traumatic accident photo of course... but I felt so invaded. I never felt the same about her after that.

Nutsabouttopic · 26/05/2023 18:06

I know how you feel. A few years ago my daughter and I were in a horrific accident. Boy racer overtaking his friend hit us and we ended upside down in a swamp. Lucky to escape with our lives. Obviously traffic was stopped. A neighbour walked down to see what was going on. She took it upon herself to ring some of my friends to tell them and take photos and videos. Police were there taking all the photos needed for evidence. She took photos of my daughter and I being cut from the car, on body boards being loaded in to ambulances. I didn't know if my daughter was going to survive. She showed everyone she met these photos. She never contacted my husband or any of my friends to ask how we were. She wanted to visit when I got home from hospital but we refused. I still can't bring myself to speak to her.

Piony · 26/05/2023 18:12

Ask her face to face to delete them next time you see her.

It doesn't really matter what the legalities are, if she is a friend she will respect your wishes.

Original poster
Ihadanaccident · 26/05/2023 18:22

So similar has happened to quite a few of you on here! It's shocking.

I need to ask her to delete them. She hasnt shared them on social media. I dont understand why anyone would think this is a normal thing to do.

OP posts:
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