I feel uncomfortably bored with my life. It's painful today.

[Isthisreallyitnow]

I've namechanged for this, as it's quite outing.

I'm just over the 50year line...and I've got an increasing sense of deep boredom and restlessness with my life. I know I'm lucky - we are all healthy, we we are financially ok and have no money worries currently. I work flexibly so I get to exercise regularly, dictate my own schedule, be there for the kids (early teens). I have a v good partner, kids, friends - I love and am loved. I cherish all of this. Until a couple of years ago I had a creative career that to everyone else was very successful - with one significant, unusually high profile moment - but it earned me such little money, that it was untenable. I'd been jobbing alongside it for 20 years...and it got to a point where menopause, age, life, awful sleep... and my drive just went. I couldn't be creative, work, parent and life.

I felt and feel disenfranchised from it. I think it burnt me out, to be honest. It might be related to how I feel now, it might not, I'm not sure.

Anyway, I'm not used to this feeling of being inert and bored - used to have so much drive and motivation - singular vision. I literally have none. I work because I have to, and I'm conscientious, but that's it. We have friends, a social life, 'stuff', holidays on the horizon, but life is pretty routine, as it is for most people. I am social but not a social animal.

I don't believe I'm depressed (I've been depressed in the past and it's not this). But I am very angsty, if that makes sense. I keep thinking of what I can do to bring freshness, and meaning, into a new chapter but I literally explore ideas, then give them up.

I don't want life to pass me by, but this is the feeling right now.

Thoughts welcome. Please be kind.

I think these feelings are common, post menopause. Do you think that you miss new opportunities, or goal setting and achieving? For me at the moment, my fitness and weight are my goals. I've got building work going in as well. You've got to get at peace with life as you age. It isn't easy though.

What would make you happier, right now, if you could have it?

Firstly,don't feel bad about these feelings.💐.
Have you looked at living in the moment? It takes a lot of determination and the feeling of the weight of thoughts of who we are,what we think we should be,every subconscious and subconscious concern we have is lifted for that time we can manage to remain in the now.it may be a few seconds at first but those few seconds are so amazing,it's like being suspended in a weightlessness and it will help you to pursue it further.
🌈

Your post really struck a chord with me, as I find your experience so relatable - inert, not depressed but angsty, worrying about life passing me by. I'm 50, and conclude that some of it is down to hormone levels. I think psychologically, I'm feeling my dreams slip away as I recognise that without a certain level of energy, I will be going through the motions of every day life and will not be able to reach for the highs or stick to my plans :(

My DP is very understanding and reminds me of the things that I do achieve (sounds like you have many creative achievements!). I have some hope that if I wait it out and do what it takes to stay healthy and keep up my relationships, that I'll get my mojo back. I keep looking for an escape route, from work, and new opportunities. I suspect if I devoted more time to getting healthy (less booze, more regular exercise, meditation) I'd have a breakthrough. That's my challenge that I never really entirely face. Perhaps you have a personal challenge that needs your attention?

to be honest, you are not alone. when we are growing up, most of us build a list of tick boxes for a happy life. we strive to attain them, but once we have done it all.... what next? personally, I've felt asking the big questions early on about the scope and meaning of our existence can help reclaim perspective.

V common feelings in peri menopause. That feeling of ' Is this it?'. HRT may help.

It’s like the optimism we have when we are younger to strive and try to build a life suddenly drops off a cliff when you realise this is where you’ve ended up. If you have no power or control or the means to change your life, it can be very painful to keep going and pretend for everybody else.

I’ve had the is it ? feeling since I was 22 🤣
You need a project. I had a beautiful wedding. Lots of children. Got them all through school got three of them to Uni . My house needs renovating from top to bottom, but quite honestly that is at zero interest to me. I watch with interest to see what inspiration Mumsnet has come come up with to keep us stimulated