Sorry for the blatant traffic post but feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall here. And I changed name because at least one of the people I've ranted to about this in real life is guaranteed to spot me on here (hi!)
My brother has a terrible relationship history. I would say he makes terrible choices but women always choose him rather than the other way around. And then they treat him like shit. He's autistic and extremely kind-hearted and he seems to attract women with significant mental health problems (I am not unsympathetic to women - or anyone - with mental health problems. Some of them are perfectly capable of being supportive romantic partners and even great parents. Some of them are not).
The current girlfriend got together with him when she was in a very bad place mentally, and basically as soon as she was getting her life together she's had no time for him. He's supported her a lot, including financially - they don't live together, he just sends her money every month (!!) She's just signed a twelve-month lease on a place I don't believe she could afford without his support.
I think their relationship may finally be limping to a close (she recently blocked him on her phone for over a week) but that's not really a lot of consolation when I know he has such a low bar for the kind of treatment he's prepared to put up with. (As an example, even when she was blocking him and he thought their relationship was over he was saying he'd carry on sending her money until the lease was up.)
How do I persuade him that he's worth better than this? I did have a look at the Why Does He Do That? book on amazon but I feel the blueprint for exploitative women is probably different from that for violent men. I'm not sure if I would go as far as describing his girlfriends as abusive, but the relationships have definitely been extremely unhealthy and made him bloody miserable. Obviously I am looking at his relationships from a biased point of view but even he would probably agree there are ways he's contributed to the unhealthy aspects of them.
When he was a little boy, if you'd asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up he would say "a daddy". He's one of those people who's always wanted a family and it makes me so sad watching him make choices that will never lead to that.
If you think I should just butt out of his life then I accept that opinion, but please be kind - I'm really not trying to control anyone's life, and I do accept that my opinion of his girlfriends probably doesn't represent the whole of who they are as their own people.