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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS(11) being bullied

7 replies

TAmum3 · 26/05/2023 00:11

DS11 started high school in sept. Since then a group of boys in his year (3 of them) have had a dislike.
DS has gone from being a popular kid in primary, to few friends and being bullied.
This week, he’s been punched in the face/ head on 2 occasions by 2 of the boys. DS is not a fighter and has run off, upset/ crying both times to find a teacher.
(Lots more ‘little’ incidents since sept - usual name calling, tripping up/ pushing etc).

Hes now obviously being called a ‘grass’ and a ‘snitch’ - even though he has bruising on his face.
School weren’t aware of the 1st incident until I sent them pictures and told them (communication between staff doesn’t seem great!). Bully1 has been internally excluded for 2 days.
Bully2 was sent home halfway through today after punching DS, and isn’t allowed in tomorrow before breaking up for half term.

I don’t feel this is good enough. Tonight I’ve filed a police report via 101 for physical assault and cyber bullying, although now I’m so worried that this will cause DS more issues. Police are due to come out tomorrow to take a statement, but I haven’t yet told DS.

YABU - shouldn’t have called 101, let the kids/ school deal with it themselves
YANBU - this is too serious for the school to fob off with lame punishments

OP posts:
DustyMaiden · 26/05/2023 00:16

It’s 20 years ago now but I took my DDs bullies to court to get a restraining order. Hopefully it won’t go that far, once the boys parents are involved hopefully they will put a drop to it.

Dodger101 · 26/05/2023 00:19

Your poor DS. It's hard to know what you should do but they are punching his head so you need to do something. I'd move him to a different school. He shouldn't have to move but he could end up seriously hurt if he stays where he is.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 26/05/2023 00:20

They weren't just making comments (which is bad enough) they physically assaulted him. If school aren't going to respond then police is reasonable.
It might make the bullies realise what they are doing is serious

AliceOlive · 26/05/2023 00:23

Any way to change schools?

TAmum3 · 26/05/2023 00:26

Potentially on the moving schools front.
Shame as on paper it’s a great school, but not in the best location which does attract some interesting characters.
Im emailing the school (again!) in the morning, as my concern is when he goes back after half term that this situation is going to be tenfold.
Im torn between being furious and demanding consequences, and on the other hand, wondering if we keep quiet this situation will just go away…

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 26/05/2023 00:28

The police will want to know what school's response has been which is, I assume, in line with their bullying and behaviour policies. They are likely to prefer a school-based resolution but could be prepared to speak to the assailants about the consequences of further assaults on your child on others. It's unlikely they will be interested in criminalising children but they might have had other reports if they've done it to others.
The cyber bullying needs to be reported to the platform on which it took place so go through his phone/laptop and use the Report button for every instance you find. Then block the bullies to prevent further contact.

TAmum3 · 26/05/2023 00:43

HarrietSchulenberg · 26/05/2023 00:28

The police will want to know what school's response has been which is, I assume, in line with their bullying and behaviour policies. They are likely to prefer a school-based resolution but could be prepared to speak to the assailants about the consequences of further assaults on your child on others. It's unlikely they will be interested in criminalising children but they might have had other reports if they've done it to others.
The cyber bullying needs to be reported to the platform on which it took place so go through his phone/laptop and use the Report button for every instance you find. Then block the bullies to prevent further contact.

Apparently bully2 has already had the police come in to school once this year (not sure why).
Interesting to read your comment - I’m hopeful school/ police will manage to resolve this issue.

school spoke with DH today but couldn’t answer any of his questions as to why this keeps happening, how they’re going to ensure DSs safety going forward etc, apparently they’re unable to say anything further and just wanted us to know from them that DS had been hit again. Doesn’t fill me with confidence tbh!

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