Sister wars

[Chiloquin]

So my sister and her kids come over a lot and they are always so messy. Last time she came and stayed over I was really annoyed and she and her older son could tell I was frustrated by the mess. I was quite angry and didn't really hide it well as I was also coming down with something. She says she tries to be tidy but I feel like I'm constantly telling her to clean up after herself and the kids.
After leaving, she hasn't come back to my house and has now said that they won't come back because she feels as though she can't adhere to my standards of tidiness. She says we can go to hers or meet up outside but she won't even let my nieces and nephew come over anymore because she didn't like my reaction and feels like I can't be that way if they don't come over to make the mess. My dad and I feel she's causing a divide now by saying that she won't come back.
Am I being unreasonable?

I think you posted this exact thread already

Clearly you don't like her kids there, so I can see why she doesn't want to come. It's probably too anxiety inducing for her to have to watch her kids every move. I'd do the same.

If you don't want her to come over because of the mess, and now she isn't coming over because you don't like the mess, isn't that problem solved?

Depends really. What’s your idea of mess and tidiness?

I did but I posted it in the wrong category

YABU. You were visibly annoyed, frustrated and angry and even one (or more) of her children could tell.
So why would she come back to your house? She’s not said she won’t see you again, she’s given other options.

As for the messiness, hard to say if she’s being unreasonable here or whether your standards are unreasonable. Or whether you could/should meet in the middle where you help look out for some of the kids if she needs some help.

But to be honest, sounds like you didn’t want them there and she could tell. Now she’s solved the problem.