To cut my brother out?

[bonzaitree]

We’re due to go on a family holiday tomorrow. No kids, attendees are mum, dad, 2 brothers, one brothers gf and various dogs.

Holiday has been arranged for months. Mum and dad have paid for a villa for us all to share. We had to fund transport only but are car sharing so saving on petrol. Essentially a very low cost holiday.

Mum and dad asked who wanted to come then got the villa based on numbers.

yesterday one of my brothers pulled out. No good reason given. He doesn’t have covid. He doesn’t have a valid reason. Just an « oh sorry dad ». Feels like the holiday has bee soured.

If he has said no when asked none of us would have minded and mum and dad would have saved money on the villa. He completely takes advantage of their generosity- some parents aren’t able to take their kids on any holidays at all and we’re still getting them in our 30s!

He has a long history of childish, selfish, entitled behaviour precisely like this. He is 35, so won’t change.

AIBU to go low contact, be polite at family gatherings but have nothing more to do with him? I just feel done.

Could he have felt pressured to go?

Does the generosity come with strings?

Could he be feeling a spare wheel if everyone else is in couples?

If this is typical bad behaviour for your brother I think going low communication is justified.

Massive e over reaction.. He has been rude and thoughtless though and I would be sure to tell him but no need to be so dramatic

the trouble is with some people is they are entitled and dropping out to him is nothing where’s as if it was me and my DB we would jump at the chance and never stop saying thank you. Thank you.

It is absolutely her business and its not extreme.

I would be glad as he sounds like an arse.

Thanks for the range of opinions. I’m not going to say/ do anything until I’ve calmed down and thought about it.

To answer some questions pressure to go at all. I’ve said no a few years back due to lack of annual leave/ other plans etc. Not an issue.

yes it’s the build up of general neglect over the years. There have been many incidents where he has taken parents generosity for granted. For example he never acknowledges mother or Father’s Day- not even a text. Mum in tears about it year after year.

He is in a couple so now his OH isn’t coming either, so we are 2 down. Maybe it’s something to do with her- who knows.

i Will defo be having a good holiday don’t you worry and won’t mention it when I’m there so as not to further antagonise the situation.

the poster who said he probably won’t notice if you go low contact- lol- you’re probs right! He wouldn’t give a shit. Maybe a sign it’s the right course of action.