How do you not stress about work?

[C1239]

Work is awful at the moment, so stressful, massive pressure, got a crazy couple of months coming up. Feel like I’m letting it get to me & im being a crap wife outside of work as my mind is consumed by work. How do you not let the stress get to you?

Sertraline.

What helps me (high stress NHS) is that I had a time as SAHM and for me the stress of NOT having a job was/is worse. Eg at least the job gives me choices eg I support myself (single parent), pay pension, can get a mortgage and finance etc.

I started a new job after being with my old company for many years. I'm
Ok at the minute as I'm
New and learning but my husband is the same as previously mentioned- does not stress and as you say we can all be replaced. I feel better now and trying not to get as consumed by the new job as my old one

Can you share what you do as there may be people in a similar situation who can provide practical advice?

The only thing I found that worked was quitting and finding a better company with realistic expectations and no blame culture.

I don't. I usually dream about it too!! Sometimes a hot shower at night though can help to relax me and think about any issues, also making a plan for the next day before I leave that way I'm prepared already for the next day. I love lists.

I've worked in super stressful jobs in the NHS for 40 years. The type where if you don't spot an infection soon enough your patient could easily die within 24 hours.
So I've learnt to give my all during working hours and the second I step outside those doors work no longer exists.
It is pointless looking back over the day and worrying about it.

Do whatever you can to gain a wider perspective. Ask yourself - will I care about these issues on my deathbed? Will history care about these issues in 100 years? or 50 or 20 or even 5? If not, why get so ground down by them now. We are all little mammals pootling about for a short time on this planet. that is all we are. I find that thought very liberating.

Live by your values. When I realised my values were very much allied with being a good mother, I just made sure that work/wider family/friendships etc never compromised that. Equally, I made sure that I worked hard at work in order to provide - part of being a good mother. Connect work to your core values and let loose anything that doesn't really fit with them.

I also try to cultivate a sense of underlying self-confidence: if this job sucks, I can walk out and get another. If this client screws me, I will find a better one etc, so I never feel enslaved by the current work situation

This is so true. Rock climbing is the most mentally relaxing thing I have ever experienced. It's like magic at clearing your head.

I don’t place a lot of importance on work so I don’t let it take up headspace. I also choose to not work extra outside of my job and have very firm boundaries on this. I do my job well but won’t take on extras outside my time capabilities - even when they are dressed up as good opportunities etc.

Depend what you do tbh and the environment you work in.

In a supportive environment the most stressful job can become manageable.

Well this may or may not be helpful, and I should apologise for the rambling, but I have a desk job and I have had some coaching and general training on this. Things that helped me:

First ten minutes of working day, picking out one priority (only one) that I needed to do

Using a Pomofocus timer to break up my day and making those breaks mandatory (obviously not if I'm in an hour's meeting 😅)

Shutting email and Teams screens for periods of the day (this may be five minutes, maybe a whole Pomo or longer - depends on your job). Checking them after my five-minute break not before (otherwise it will play on your mind)

Trying to take at least a five-minute lunch break, even just to walk around the building a bit

Reassessing what I'm doing at the start of every afternoon - is it helpful/working/am I the person who should be doing this/should I delegate (big one for me)

At the end of the day, taking ten minutes to make a list of things to do on my next working day and emailing it to myself (scheduled to arrive at the start of my working hours).

Walking or cycling to and from the office, or taking the dog for a short walk at the end of the day if I'm home-based.

Headspace app

Leaving my phone in another room in the evening while I read or watch TV (otherwise perpertuating the feeling of always being on/waiting for a message)

Bedtime yoga with Adriene

Magnesium supplement

From talking to friends and family dealing with this, the workplace stress is worse now than ever and the common theme is staff shortages. This in turn puts pressure on others who leave or go off with work related stress which again makes things even worse for those left behind. I am not sure what the answer to this, I know companies are trying hard to recruit but they are struggling to get suitable candidates.

I found reducing my hours helped considerably, obviously comes with a financial cost but wasn’t huge once the decrease in deductions, childcare and commuting taken into account. Obviously isn’t an option for everyone but I’d say if it’s a case of just not being able to afford the extras, living in smaller house etc it’s more than worth it

Depends - if a lot of it is coming from you and you're equating all your self worth to success at work, try all the lovely suggestions- hobbies, exercise, meditation, nature walks. If you work somewhere dysfunctional where everyone is miserable, covering arses, management running the place badly, just quit. It won't get better. I'm prone towards stressing about work but have dialled it down a lot recently because my employers are decent and supportive, I've found a hobby I love to do at the weekend and my dad died 18 months ago which gave me loads of fresh perspective on how precious and fleeting life is x

go down the rung a few levels - go part time.

the moneys not worth it - I’m sure the stress I lived with through my 20-40’s has taken a good few years off my life…

it took 4 years to recover, im about to retire now, and hoping that I will be able to enjoy a decent amount of time.

if youre not senior enough to be able to go down a few rungs, then change jobs. You shouldn’t have stress at below mgmt roles.

Firm boundaries between work time and non-work time. Respected because I can be relied upon in work time.

Good sleep patterns- don't stay up late for any tv programme or go to late cinema screenings, Iplayer and other catch up tv services are my friend for this.

I wish I could follow this advise, it’s bank holiday weekend and I still feel stressed about work, so annoying!

I never think about work until Monday morning. Friday afternoon I stop thinking about it. I compartmentalise easily.

My works been the same the last few weeks. Caused by a new senior boss. I’m at the end of my tether with it and not prepared to put up with it anymore. I’m going to speak up if she doesn’t calm it. I don’t get paid enough for the hours I’ve put in and stress lately

I’m still stressed about it too, despite trying not to think about it

So sad reading these posts as work consumes so many of us.
I do agree with others though (and I know this won't go down well with some) is the fact that workplaces can and will replace you in a heartbeat however liked you are and however good you are. I do find that keeping busy helps, walking, social outings, reading, planning annual leave breaks regularly etc.
Work is just work. Health, family and mental health is much more important.