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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wages upfront?

34 replies

Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 16:11

I work on the weekends for a local businessman. DH and I need to make a purchase (£800) but don't want to use a credit card.

I have asked my boss if I could have my wages upfront and work off weekly. Would take 16 weeks to clear. He told me in the past that he would be willing to do this and has done in the past, so I sent a message asking him this morning.

He read it 5 minutes after sending but hasn't responded.

I am now dying with absolute embarrassment and cringing at what I sent (was a very nice message!) but I'm going absolutely mad thinking things over with the fact he hasn't responded.

FWIW I have been working with him for over a year and am more than reliable!

Does he think I'm the biggest CFer in the world?

We get on wonderfully and I would hate to think I have soured the relationship with being so utterly presumptuous.

Eurgh. Actually feel sick 🤢

OP posts:
Elle200 · 25/05/2023 16:13

He sounds like a nice boss, hopefully he'll live up to his earlier offers and come the with the money for you.

Nordicrain · 25/05/2023 16:15

As he has done it before and said to you he would for you it's not being a CF to ask. He might say no though, which would be within his rights.

thecatsthecats · 25/05/2023 16:16

Don't worry about it! It might not be something he agrees to or even likes, but all he has to do is say no.

I would say that 16 weekends is a LONG time to request in advance though! Were other requests of similar duration?

If he ums and ahhs, perhaps counter suggest that you've thought about it, and perhaps 1/2 or 1/4 would be a better arrangement, then you can put the remainder on credit?

ComtesseDeSpair · 25/05/2023 16:17

He probably needs some time to think about the terms of making you the loan (which ultimately it is, an advance of wages would usually be a single pay period, not 16 weeks) in order to respond: he isn’t just going to say “yup” if he’s a professional.

BarbaraofSeville · 25/05/2023 16:19

I don't think you should be asking your boss to help you manage your cashflow like this.

Use your credit card. This is what they're for. You get a few week's free credit anyway and if you can't afford to pay for the thing before they start charging interest, you could make the purchase, apply for a free balance transfer card and transfer the money to the free card, to pay it off interest free.

Then you sort it all out yourself without asking your boss favours, when it might make him feel uncomfortable and obliged to help you when it's not his responsibility.

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 16:20

He really is a lovely guy. Which is what's making it worse. I know he wouldn't but I keep thinking he's gonna sit there and go: "ooh look what cheeky cow stuck sent me this morning"

DH says I'm overthinking things and of course would completely understand and accept if he says no.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 25/05/2023 16:28

You don't give any information about him or his business, but most have to plan cashflow pretty carefully, i.e. the timing of receipts and when suppliers have to be paid. It may be that this unanticipated outgoing would leave him short of cash for other obligations he has and he's trying to find a way to arrange it.

Theraffarian · 25/05/2023 16:29

Couple of questions , when he said previously he could lend you your wages early and you could pay him back , did you talk about repayment times , 16 weeks is a long t8me for someone who has only worked for him for a year . Normally subbing wages would literally be giving your employee the money a bit early that month if they were stuck.

Also , why the reluctance to use a credit card for a £800 purchase ( get that it could be that your credit score etc won’t allow ) , it would offer you more consumer protection and you could take out an interest free one ?

listsandbudgets · 25/05/2023 16:29

16 weeks is a lot. As employers we will advqnce up to a months salary to be paid off over 6 months and only for employees who've been with us for 18 months plus. We won't lend more than once a year either and never while part of previous payment outstanding.

A request for 16 weeks in advance without a seriously good reason would normally be refused out of hand, honestly it's CF territory

Laffinalltheway · 25/05/2023 16:33

You've been with him over a year, what like 53 weeks, or 103 weeks? I'm asking because if it's closer to 53 weeks, I think it's a bit much, you asking him for 16 weeks of wages in advance...

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 16:34

It's a cafe - but one of many businesses he owns.

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 25/05/2023 16:36

BarbaraofSeville · 25/05/2023 16:19

I don't think you should be asking your boss to help you manage your cashflow like this.

Use your credit card. This is what they're for. You get a few week's free credit anyway and if you can't afford to pay for the thing before they start charging interest, you could make the purchase, apply for a free balance transfer card and transfer the money to the free card, to pay it off interest free.

Then you sort it all out yourself without asking your boss favours, when it might make him feel uncomfortable and obliged to help you when it's not his responsibility.

It's a fairly standard benefit, employer loans:

https://makesworth.co.uk/take-advantage-of-interest-free-loans/

Take advantage of interest-free loans

Did you know that as an employer you can loan your employees a tax-free cheap or interest-free loan of up to £10,000 per year? If your employees.

https://makesworth.co.uk/take-advantage-of-interest-free-loans

Sprinkles211 · 25/05/2023 16:38

That's 1/3 of a year up front that's really crazy no way I'd do that for an employee I would be concerned they one, wouldn't stick around long enough to pay it back and two, they won't be able to afford to pay bills/food etc in the long run so the responsible employer would say no

Lemonfanta4 · 25/05/2023 16:43

Why don’t you want to use a credit card?

cestlavielife · 25/05/2023 16:44

Is 50 a week your total wage? Or is it %?
If it is total wage for a few hours he might worry you get sick / dont turn up etc.
If it is say one half or less then different as you have to turn up...
Why not just save up for 16 weeks and buy it outright?
Why not a credit card if urgent?

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 16:50

Should probably say it's not my main job. It's just helping out during busy period on Saturday. Cash in hand.

But the AIBU was am I a CF for just asking the question. I wouldn't have even dreamed of asking him if he hadn't mentioned in the past that it was an option.

OP posts:
Wishitsnows · 25/05/2023 16:51

Would your DH not ask his place of work?

ComtesseDeSpair · 25/05/2023 16:56

Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 16:50

Should probably say it's not my main job. It's just helping out during busy period on Saturday. Cash in hand.

But the AIBU was am I a CF for just asking the question. I wouldn't have even dreamed of asking him if he hadn't mentioned in the past that it was an option.

I think this changes things. You’re a casual employee with presumably no contract and it’s all a bit under the table. What’s to stop you pocketing your £800 and then not showing up to work for him ever again? When he previously said he’d advance wages as a kind gesture, he probably meant a week or maybe two, not months.

cestlavielife · 25/05/2023 16:57

Maybe he meant he would loan 50
.... not 800...

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 17:04

@ComtesseDeSpair

Yes no contract but I've been there for a year. Our kids are in the same class together. He knows me and he knows he would get it back.

But as I previously mentioned my AIBU is not how much or for how long - it's the asking in the first place.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 17:08

@cestlavielife

No, DH's car died and he offered to pay the bill and I work it back. We said we couldn't do that and he said well the offer is there whether now or in the future. He said he's a businessman and likes to help local people out. Was just under £1000k.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 25/05/2023 17:08

Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 17:04

@ComtesseDeSpair

Yes no contract but I've been there for a year. Our kids are in the same class together. He knows me and he knows he would get it back.

But as I previously mentioned my AIBU is not how much or for how long - it's the asking in the first place.

In his position I’d find the request inappropriate, yes. If I’d previously offered my cleaner an advance on her pay if she was ever desperate, I’d mean the £40 I pay her per clean. I’d be taken aback if she asked me to lend her £800 repayable over months.

The kids in same class etc just adds to it. If you do decide not to go to work again or repay him he’s then stuck with an awkward situation and bad feeling there as well, not just within his business.

cestlavielife · 25/05/2023 17:12

What is it for this time ? You dont need to say but if it is not in same vein as only car you have then ??

ComtesseDeSpair · 25/05/2023 17:12

He might well yet respond saying he’s happy to lend it, but I’d imagine he’ll want a written contract for the loan. It’s not likely to be something he just straight agrees to giving you with a quick text.

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 17:17

Just re checked my message and I haven't even said in the message how much for, just whether it was an option after his offer last year.

I actually hate myself at the moment!!

OP posts:
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