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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was it her or me?

3 replies

Rosesarered1234 · 25/05/2023 15:00

Close friends for around 8 years, she’s happily married with children, she’s late forties, ten years older than me. We used to discuss everything, were very open with each other and to my knowledge I’ve not known of any issues in her life (of course there may of been - I have been thinking about this) anyway I got pregnant around 3 years ago, unfortunately miscarried and still trying to get pregnant. Anyway as soon as she discovered I was pregnant she stopped inviting me over, out to places etc then all contact came to a complete halt. I carried on texting etc but got the message when she never replied. It’s been almost three years and we’ve gone from close friends to nothing. She does like a drink (I used to, but since we lost baby and have been actively trying I don’t anymore) but all of her close circle go out drinking weekly, and any events are always alcohol related. When I’ve thought about things afterwards pretty much everything we did together involved alcohol, we never went for walks or breakfast etc like I do with my other friends. I’m fully aware friendships fizzle out, so maybe that’s what happened rather than me thinking it was because I couldn’t join in anymore?

OP posts:
SkaneTos · 25/05/2023 17:44

How weird! It's hard to lose a friendship.
It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong at all.
Either something happened in her own life that made her withdraw from the friendship, something that hasn't got anything to do with you.
Or it is like you write, that she wants to hang out with people who drink like her. I guess some people are like that, but that doesn't make it right, you two should have been able to find new activities to do together.
Or it is something else, entirely.
Anyhow, not your fault, I think!

I wish you all the best.

Saucemonkey · 25/05/2023 17:47

Your journey was just a different one and you grew apart. Wish her well and move on. She was a “fun time “ pal and your into the family scene now.

Rosesarered1234 · 25/05/2023 18:08

Thank you both. I just wondered if anyone thought along the same lines as me. I appreciate both of you replying.

OP posts:
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