To feel isolated by infertility

[ivfregret]

It sucks, I don't even want kids that badly but every single social event everyone is a parent,

Then they ask if I've got kids and I always just say no and change topic. They seem to get the idea.

But it's just lonely and isolating.

How do you deal with social settings if you're infertile? And parent topics and have you got kids comes up?

I found this group beyond helpful. Even had some in person meet ups and still friends years later.

https://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/

I compartmentalise. Often if people directly ask me (which they frequently do) I tell them I'm a cat mother and talk about my cats until they forget what the original conversation was. I try my best to remind myself that I can't begrudge other people the happiness they find in their children just because Im infertile, but I can absolutely put them off if they pry into my business.

I'm sorry OP. I spent 13yrs TTC, lost 3, and multiple rounds of IVF. I've been asked numerous times whether I have children, why not, are you trying, have you though of IVF 🙄,' Are you one of those eco women who doesn't have children for the planet!' etc.

How do you deal with social settings if you're infertile?

It depends on the situation and who it is. Sometimes I've said 'No, unfortunately, we haven't been able to have children.'. If they press the subject and its not something/someone I'm comfortable with 'Its not something I like talking about' and I change the subject. I've found its gotten far easier as I've got older, but I recall a peak in my 30's where I seemed to be asked daily.