To be getting pissed off at my boyfriend?

[slumberparty0]

I love him to bits, but I don’t know whether I’m getting unnecessarily irritated or not.

Recently we have been discussing the possibility that my boyfriend may have sleep apnea. If not, he still snores the loudest I’ve ever heard and it’s stopping us both from sleeping. We’ve recently been arguing and deduced it was because of the lack of sleep and tiredness we are having. I felt like he was going off me and he said it’s making him more blunt and less emotional because no matter how much he sleeps, he is knackered. And all the usual snore remedies haven’t helped.

He said he feels bad for interrupting my sleep too; so said enough is enough, he needs to see a GP.

In fairness our GP is appalling. I’ve witnessed him attempt to call them in the morning - after being on hold for an hour, he is told there’s no appointments left.

Since then (around a month ago) he’s just kind of given up (I kind of understood as it is irritating). I suggested he goes down there in the morning so he did; and no luck.

I then had to keep pestering him to maybe try and ring in the afternoon - he drives for a job so he could easily call while he’s driving or pull over. He kept forgetting, I’ve had to remind him nearly every morning. I told him to set an alarm on his phone in the afternoon to ring them, and he finally did. He had no luck, they told him he should try on the app - he has to go visit the GP to sign up to the app.

He kept forgetting to do this too. I reminded him this morning and he said “yes I will if I get time after work”. He then texts me at 4pm saying “just got home!” I said right, you’re not going to the GP then. He said “oh shit” and then went. He got a login for the app and said he’ll do it tomorrow.

But I know full well I’ll have to remind him again.

Am I being unfair? I know he’s busy but I thought he’d prioritise it seeing as it’s not only affecting his sleep but now mine too. And it’s starting to annoy me having to remind him every morning and day. Because I know he wouldn’t do it himself if I didn’t.

Shall I say something or not worth it?

Is it possible for you to sleep in a different room? If so I'd do that and stop reminding him!

Is he hugely overweight? I'm wondering if he's stalling seeing the GP because he knows he'll be advised to lose weight and will have to give up beer/sweets/carbs etc.

Beyond that though, I would consider ending the relationship. I have no patience when I'm tired and if you don't have a spare room and he isn't willing to seek advice then how do you move forward? I've been there and tried earplugs/white noise etc but I won't wear earplugs every night for the next sixty years because a partner won't at least try!

He needs to get to the doctors in the morning at least 20 minutes before it opens, so he can get at the front of the queue.

Tbf he seems to be trying to get see a GP. Could you consider private?

Usually the solution, if everything else has been tried, is CPAP machine.

Until its sorted you should sleep separately, nothing like poor sleep to make both of you short tempered with each other

Hi Op I feel your pain, my partner snores soooo loud I felt half dead some days due to no sleep. I tried lots of things and one thing that has worked is a snoring ring. It was around a tenner and he rarely snores wearing it. I have to remind Jim to put it on though haha . I've also started listening to sleep hypnosis with an earphone at night and sleep like a log . I don't know if this is helpful or not if you have tried it ?

How has this not given you the massive ick? He's like a child having to be reminded and encouraged to do something he doesn't really want to do. Is he this childlike in other areas of his life? Does he need constant reminders to put his dirty undies in the washing basket? To load the dishwasher? Put the bins out? Tell him to adult up or get out. You're not his mother.

Are you planning on having children?

Imagine how much more irritating it will be to have to constantly remind your partner to do tasks for himself that you do for yourself without his input, and have to look after a child that he will probably not do anything for without being asked multiple times.

He drives for a job and isn't that interested in sorting out a possible life threatening condition that risks his driving license?

Can you call for him? My dp is a driver too, I make most of his appointments for him

I second sleeping in separate rooms for his safely OP. My DH has always snored loudly, we'd tried all sorts of things, but nothing worked, and after a spell when I hadn't slept for 7 nights straight, I think I must have been on the the verge of madness. So when his snoring began yet again, I just couldn't help myself, and picked up a pillow, he woke up to find me hovering over him with the pillow, about to put it over his face!! Since then we've rarely slept in the same room together, because he says he doesn't want to risk it, lol.