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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Please help -- TW for animal being PTS

22 replies

NotedTrees · 24/05/2023 11:51

Apologies for posting in AIBU, and for the fact that this subject matter will be upsetting to some people.

I need to accompany someone else's dog to the vet's to be put to sleep later today, and, as I'm very, very fond of this little creature although he's not mine, and am very sad, could someone please explain to me exactly what happens in as much detail as possible when an animal is euthanised?

I'm not a pet owner, and have never been to a vet's, far less for this procedure, but though I'm very apprehensive, it's absolutely the right decision, and I want to be there for him to the end. (Am I even allowed to stay?) I'd just like to know in advance what will happen so I can be more attuned to this little dog.

Thank you so much.

OP posts:

Irishstout · 24/05/2023 11:58

Do the vets know this is why the appointment has been booked? They will normally book more time out for this to make sure you aren't rushed. You may also be asked what you want to do afterwards, individual cremation take home etc. Normally this is sorted before hand so that afterwards it's all complete because you don't want to be thinking about it when crying. You can pay before hand if you want so you can slip out afterwards without facing anyone.

They may take the dog around the back for a short time to place a catheter in the leg, they may do this with you in the room. The dog will come back to you and you can say your good byes. You can keep fussing the dog while they inject an overdose of anaesthetic and the dog will falls asleep and pass away. Sometimes you get a last gasp as the air leaves their body or they twitch which is normal and they are already gone.

The vet will leave you as much time as you need with them until you are ready to leave.

Take tissues with you.

You sound like a lovely person

Reinga · 24/05/2023 11:58

I've been with two of my childhood cats on separate occasions as they've been pts.
IME, the vet encourages you to stay in the room ,if you can, so the animal feels more secure with a friendly face.
They explain that they'll be injecting the medication and the pet will pass away. Our vet explained both times that our cats may seize and it wouldn't be pleasant but it would be over quickly. On both occasions, this didn't happen and they were both gone before the vet had administered the full injection.
Our vet also explained that the cats may soil themselves but this didn't happen either.
The whole process was quick, painless and respectful and the right thing to do in both circumstances.

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 24/05/2023 12:01

We had our ddog sedated first. Much less stressful for all. When they put the iv drip with the pts meds in she was already asleep..
Thank you op. For being there. Vets do say ddogs look for a loved one if they go in alone.. Stroking and talking softly will be a great comfort to the ddog. Remember it won't know it isn't going home...

KarmaStar · 24/05/2023 12:34

You can stay with your dog.hold him,reassure him,tell him he is loved and it's safe to go into the light.he will be collected by a family member and a dog friend he knows and taken to be healed.animals are more spiritual than people and understand far more than we know.keep talking into his ear until he drifts off to sleep and awakens in a far better world than this one.he William you for being with him and you will meet again one day.
try not to be upset,it's the end of his life on the earth plane but it is very very far from over for him.🐕🌈🌈🌈🐾🐾

KarmaStar · 24/05/2023 12:34

He will be grateful to you not william!

LakieLady · 24/05/2023 12:38

I had to have my DDog pts during the second lockdown, so couldn't go in.

The vet nurse took her into the vet, and she was given a sedative. The nurse brought her back out, and I sat in the back of the car with her on my lap, stroking her and talking to her while she slowly drifted off to sleep.

My BIL, who had come with me, then went and told them that she was asleep, and they came and got her to finally do the deed.

My eyes seem to be watering now...

Original poster

NotedTrees · 24/05/2023 12:39

Thank you all so much. You're really kind, and it's helping me to be able to picture how things are likely to happen. His owner booked the appointment, but yes, I believe said that what it was for -- the vet has seen him recently, and advised this.

How is the overdose of anaesthetic administered - through the leg catheter? How long will it take for him to lose consciousness? He's small-- mostly dachshund, if that makes a difference. Will I be able to have him on my lap? I don't care if he soils himself, or whatever. I'd just like him to feel loved and secure until the last possible moment.

OP posts:

ExtraOnions · 24/05/2023 12:43

I was with my Mums cat when it was PTS… cat had been in a nasty road accident.

It was very peaceful, and quite quick.

Cosyblankets · 24/05/2023 12:49

It really isn't very long at all. A minute maybe two.
Thank you for being there for the little dog.

britnay · 24/05/2023 12:52

@NotedTrees
Yes, he may urinate/defacate so maybe have a towel to place under him?

moose62 · 24/05/2023 12:52

I held my dog in the surgery whilst the vet quickly put in the injection port and then when I was ready he put the meds in. My Ddog went in about 10 seconds and I sat with him until I was ready to leave and the vet took him. There was no hurry, no sudden movements or loud noises. Vets will often come to your house to do it if requested.

Brefugee · 24/05/2023 12:52

OP you sound lovely. IME Vets prefer it when someone stays with the dog while they pass, mostly they love animals and don't like the idea of a trusted person not being with their patient at this time.

I've had two cats PTS (age and illness) and each time i have held them until well after they passed, and the vets and their staff were lovely. Take tissues and give yourself time afterwards to sit in a park or something if you can, before you drive somewhere.

WhyDoesItAlways · 24/05/2023 12:53

Yes, they put the anesthetic through the leg catheter. My dog was at least asleep if not gone before the full injection was given. She was then given a second dose before the vet checked her heart to confirm. She was a bigger dog so I had her head in my lap. It was very peaceful. Her eyes didn't close so she just looked like she was lying very still.

HisNibs · 24/05/2023 12:55

What I had to have my little Cavi pts in the first lockdown, the Vet (who was fantastic) let me come in and be with him. I held him in my arms whilst the Vet shaved a small patch on his right front leg for the catheter. He then applied a tourniquet to make the vein stand out, put the catheter in and administered the injection. He slipped away before the Vet had finished the injection. It was very, very peaceful.
I'm sure you'll be able to have him on your lap. You're doing a wonderful thing for him by being there. Take a blanket to wrap him in afterwards.
3 years ago and it still breaks my heart.

Original poster

NotedTrees · 24/05/2023 12:59

Oh, you're all making me cry now. Perhaps just as well, I can get some of it out of the way in advance, as I'm a weepy person at the best of times, and this dog has an uncanny way of noticing if I'm upset. His life has not been ideal, and I'm going to go over and hang out with him for an hour before the appointment.

Thank you all again. I won't namecheck individuals, but I appreciate it all. I'm not at all an animal-lover, but this dog has snuck very close to my heart without me noticing, and he deserves to know he's loved until the last moment of consciousnessness.

OP posts:

SallyWD · 24/05/2023 13:00

I was with my cat when she was put to sleep. I really thought it would be distressing but it was very calm. I held her in my arms while they injected her and she just went limp. That was it. No struggle just peace. It's a very kind thing for you to do.

iwantmyownicecreamvan · 24/05/2023 13:28

I was told to keep talking to them, even if you think they've gone, just to be sure, because hearing is the last sense that goes.

I've done this for 3 pets now - two cats and a dog - it is a lovely thing you are doing for the little dog and his owner.

Hoppinggreen · 24/05/2023 13:30

LakieLady · 24/05/2023 12:38

I had to have my DDog pts during the second lockdown, so couldn't go in.

My BIL, who had come with me, then went and told them that she was asleep, and they came and got her to finally do the deed.

My eyes seem to be watering now...

So do mine
Im very sorry for your loss, and everyone else’s too

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 24/05/2023 13:30

When my dog was put to sleep they sedated him and he was very still and calm, and then they gave him the lethal injection and he just… faded away. Very peaceful. They then gave us 15 mins to just have with him

Beebopwasthebest · 24/05/2023 13:30

This is a lovely thing to do for him and for your friend. Most vets will place an IV cannula and the nurse will probably hold him for this, dachshunds little legs can be a bit tricky so they may do this away from you. If placing the cannula is stressful or the pet is stressed they are often sedated first.

Animals don't close their eyes I am afraid and may take a big breath in the minutes after they have passed. Sometimes there can be little muscle tremors. It is literally as quick as going under an anaesthetic.

Generally, if well managed it is a very peaceful and considerate process.

You can ask for or may be offered paw prints or hair clippings or if you would like his collar (keep it on as it is what he used too) and you will be asked what you would like to happen afterwards with respect to standard or individual cremation.

You may want to pay beforehand over the phone as it can be quite hard to go to the reception desk afterwards. Some vets may collect the invoice at a later time for clients who are known to the practice.

AnotherForumUser · 24/05/2023 13:38

You'll be able to be with him. It's better for them to have someone they love and trust beside them as they pass away. Keep talking to him. Do take a towel and hankies. And don't remove the collar until it's over. You are doing a brave, loving and courageous act. Thoughts are with you, your friend and their dog.

murasaki · 24/05/2023 13:56

I went with my best friend when her cat needed to be pts. She held her, we both stroked her, it was peaceful, we both cried, but I came away feeling that we humans should be so lucky to go in such a calm loved way, as we often don't. The vet staff were amazing and let us sit for a while afterwards and supplied tissues. It was very moving and they made it so much better than it might have been.

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