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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Normal parenting or not?

10 replies

Hocuspocusnonsense · 24/05/2023 10:26

Neighbour has two children aged 6 and 8. Rarely does anything with them and all Summer the children spend most of their time watching us over the fence and asking to come in to our garden. I have children and all the usual toys in the garden. They don’t have any toys in their garden because the mum says they’re too old for toys in the garden and she likes her flowers. I feel sorry for the children but I’m not prepared to provide childcare for her children. I’ve lived next door for two years. Last summer she told me she was disappointed and I’m not the neighbour she thought I was going to be. She has a husband.

Now the weather is warming up her children come home from school and are allowed to play out unsupervised until about 8pm. I’ve spoken to her about it and she says they’re growing up and need more space....so they’re allowed to play out in the street. She rarely checks on them. Tbh they’re a pain in the bum, they play in other people’s front gardens and the mum doesn’t seem to be remotely bothered. It feels very much a case of she just wants them out of her way. And no she isn’t WFH she’s watching TV.

Is this normal parenting to children of 6 and 8?

OP posts:
Onepotatoetwopotatoe · 24/05/2023 10:27

I think we all know the answer

DiIIy · 24/05/2023 11:38

Why did she tell you she's disappointed? I think there's more to this story!

bellsandwhistles333 · 24/05/2023 11:42

I would hate this. My friend has these very neighbours next door, the kids just climb over the fence to go on her trampoline and in her pool/ swings etc. she doesn't mind if it's pre arranged but they never go home they are there all day getting snacks and drinks it's ridiculous
I told her she's gotta out a higher fence up or a shed next to there side.

The mum is friendly enough and never asks but never stops them either just shouts over the fence 'oh they bloody live that trampoline' etc etc I need to get one but doesn't...

The other week she was getting her three kids ready for school and putting things in the car when the little boy next door walked straight to into the house and helped himself to 2 bananas for breakfast.

I'd go mad you have my sympathies OP🍷

OooohKeepYourKnickersOn · 24/05/2023 11:47

No it's not normal

Tidsleytiddy · 24/05/2023 11:48

bellsandwhistles333 · 24/05/2023 11:42

I would hate this. My friend has these very neighbours next door, the kids just climb over the fence to go on her trampoline and in her pool/ swings etc. she doesn't mind if it's pre arranged but they never go home they are there all day getting snacks and drinks it's ridiculous
I told her she's gotta out a higher fence up or a shed next to there side.

The mum is friendly enough and never asks but never stops them either just shouts over the fence 'oh they bloody live that trampoline' etc etc I need to get one but doesn't...

The other week she was getting her three kids ready for school and putting things in the car when the little boy next door walked straight to into the house and helped himself to 2 bananas for breakfast.

I'd go mad you have my sympathies OP🍷

😲

Diagonalley96 · 24/05/2023 11:50

My neighbours child is the same. She is really badly behaved and they admit she is a nuisance so just open the door and let her go into other peoples gardens. It drives me mad as she is very disruptive and a pest. Her parents just leave her to it and sit watching TV. She is 6. I genuinely dread the summer as I want my own kids out to play but this always ruins it.

Hocuspocusnonsense · 24/05/2023 11:53

Dilly She told me she was disappointed because I think she thought I would be more helpful to her. During the first year of living next door she asked me many times if I would look after her children so she could go to Tesco/go shopping etc. She would have her children knock and ask me if they could come in and play, she would be standing on the doorstep with them telling them to ask me!!!! She’s disappointed because she thought I would look after her children for her because I have children.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 24/05/2023 11:55

Have you raised with their father that you don't want them knocking on the door etc?

WhatNoRaisins · 24/05/2023 12:01

I think all you can do is tell them no when they ask to come into your garden and send them home if they enter your space without permission. I get sharing playdates but it sounds like this person would just be all take so I wouldn't get involved.

mycoffeecup · 24/05/2023 12:01

Sent out alone and allowed to play in other people's gardens aged 6 and 8? social services.

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