NC for this.
I moved out from my family home when I was 18, working so hard to afford it because I couldn’t live with my parents anymore due to the constant rowing and toxicity.
Over the last ten years I have always kept a distance - but when I had my son in 2020 she was adamant to get me close by so that she could see him frequently.
We’ve always had a difficult relationship, she has always put me down, and I’ve always been the scapegoat out of all of her children. She’s even told me, when I asked her why she treats me differently that she ‘treats me differently to the others because I don’t like you’.
Whenever I’ve tried to stand up to her I am called spiteful and I live with a constant guilt and tip toe around her. She has recently started drinking a lot and has been in my face a few times getting angry.
Anyway, I was struggling with bad mental health at the end of last year and my mum said it was because we were isolated and didn’t have her nearby. I don’t know how, but somehow I decided it was the right decision to move closer to her.. in fact, three minutes round the corner. I was looking elsewhere, 10-20 minutes away; but she would tell me it wasn’t fair to my son to not be near her, and that the only place she is happy for me to move to was next to her - despite it being more expensive.
I just felt so guilty and like it was easier to listen to her, but three months in it’s been a nightmare. She is only nice to me if she gets what she wants & has been frequently nasty, commenting on my appearance, commenting on my parenting and constantly saying my son ‘prefers her’ (my son is very, very clingy with me so this is not the truth).
I am so scared that she is going to manipulate my son as he grows up if I stay here. He has autism and she frequently uses this to her advantage because she has experience with my autistic brother and sister (who she has always treated amazingly).
I know I’ve made the wrong decision but we are in a year contract, I’m so unhappy here already and I know I’ve made the wrong decision and I only have myself to blame. I know I’ve put myself in this situation. But please, if anyone knows, how can I get myself out of this?
It’s making me burnt out and nervous and doubtful of myself constantly, and I just know it’s going to continue if I don’t move away. But I’m also scared because she will try to make my life a living hell, and I can see her making malicious reports to get to my son. I don’t have the strength to deal with that. And I would be terrified to tell her we are moving, I know she will scream and become verbally abusive. I just feel so lost on what to do.