To think that there's a limit to how laid back a man can be

[riverrock1]

Chatting to a man.
Like me, no interest in marriage or kids. I've been there.
Mutual friends describe him as decent, kind, funny , hardworking but the most laid back man they've ever met when it comes to dating .
I see what they mean.
We've exchanged a bit in WhatsApp but for example I replied to him last night and have heard nothing.
He just reads replies and then may or may not reply next day or in a matter of hours.
Ima bemused by this . He's engaging and interesting though.
Should I throw this one back in because on here, I always read, if a man has interest you'll know it clearly .

Anyone please? My first post .

I think it is fairly normal isn't it, I do not reply to messages straight away or at all depending on what its about. I think social media has made us feel like we need immediate responses and a lot of interaction when that's not really necessary

Talk about looking for a problem that isn't there. Try ringing him instead.

I'd love that. Instant messaging makes me twitchy. Do you fancy him? Is he nice to you? If so, carry on.

I'm a bit like this. It depends if I'm busy. Or just tired. I do read messages and think 'I'll reply to that later when I've thought of something to say'.

I'm not sure if that's laid back, or just not very good with texting/Whatsapp. I find them a bit annoying to be honest - would rather just talk to someone.

Does he ask about you and have a genuine interest in finding out who you are or is he just deploying to your messages?

I think this is more to do with his communication style than his suitability (or otherwise) as a date. People have wildly different approaches to the way they message or don't message. Some people do it compulsively, all day, others avoid it like the plague. I wouldn't read too much into the frequency with which he replies to messages.

How well have you got to know him in real life? I can't tell from your post whether you've even met for example.

Ultimately its down to how compatible you are and if you want constant reassurance and back and forth then maybe he's not for you. But I wouldn't rule someone out on the basis that they don't reply to a WhatsApp instantaneously.

We haven't met .
I'm used to more interaction with people but he doesn't even open his messages for hours by the looks of it .
Maybe I'm expecting too much

yeah I think you are if you think not even reading messages for a few hours is at all odd, its so normal for me. my immediate family and work I read as soon as I see but everyone else has to wait

I think there are two types of people - those who are happy to have back and forth chats, and those who see messaging as a means to an end.

You're clearly the former, he's the latter.

Neither of you is wrong, you're just different.

If you've never even met each other, then I think your expectations are a bit unreasonable.

I don't think you're expecting too much.... you're just expecting different things. This would be ok for me, but if it's not for you then that's absolutely fine. Look for someone who's communication style matches yours.

There’s no limit to how laid back he can be, but there is a limit to how laid back you will accept from a partner. You don’t have to pursue a relationship with him if you don’t want to.

If I was dating someone who said I wasn't interested because I didn't instantly reply that would probably be enough of them for me. I don't need that level of pressure