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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking away the cutlery

15 replies

Whattodonowadays · 23/05/2023 13:27

Am I being unreasonable? My son and his girlfriend live in a caravan on my property. The problem is they take all my cups plates bowls cutlery and I never see them again! They cook in my house but eat in the caravan! When I ask for dishes to wash they bring in some now and again. I’m forever buying new ones as they keep vanishing. For example I bought 6 new forks about a month ago as I only had 4 left somehow! So I had10 forks. Making dinner last night and I realised I’ve only got 3 forks left!!! I feel like hiding all the cutlery so they can’t loose anymore???? I’m absolutely fed up of having to replace everything every few months as it goes missing.

OP posts:
CaloundraBlues · 23/05/2023 13:28

Why can't you just tell them to bring it back and wash it? Why would you wash it for them?

shivawn · 23/05/2023 13:29

It does sound annoying. How old are they? Is there no cooking facilities in the caravan? Surely there's a gas hob or something?

GoodChat · 23/05/2023 13:31

Tell them they're no longer welcome to use your crockery or utensils. They're taking the mick.

suchasocialhierachy · 23/05/2023 13:32

Tell them to bring over their own plates for you to put their food on or give them paper plates!!!

To be honest I don't know why you're cooking for them or washing up after them!

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 23/05/2023 13:34

They seem perfectly happy wandering in and out of your house and taking your stuff so let yourself into the caravan and claim it back then tell them that from now on they can only remove food from your kitchen on their own plates.

GrumpyPanda · 23/05/2023 13:34

Stop letting them use your kitchen.

ringsaglitter · 23/05/2023 13:43

What are they doing with the forks? Eating them?

bluebeck · 23/05/2023 13:44

I’ve said YABU as you have allowed this to happen.

IamSallyBowles · 23/05/2023 13:48

We have a similar issue in this house - I have stuff that simply doesn't leave the kitchen/dining room - a nice matching set of plates and some 'slightly' posh cutlery from Debenhams. If they can't find any of the day to day IKEA stuff, then they're eating off camping plates or takeaway pots with child's plastic cutlery - the real stuff soon comes back.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 23/05/2023 13:50

Why should you fork out for new cutlery? They live on your land, not respecting your rules seems like a real knife in the back. If they are adults you shouldn't have to spoon-feed them, I bet you have enough on your plate.

Hope this helps.

GoodChat · 23/05/2023 13:53

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 23/05/2023 13:50

Why should you fork out for new cutlery? They live on your land, not respecting your rules seems like a real knife in the back. If they are adults you shouldn't have to spoon-feed them, I bet you have enough on your plate.

Hope this helps.

I giggled at fork then read the rest 🤣🤣🤣

Themermaidspool · 23/05/2023 13:55

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 23/05/2023 13:50

Why should you fork out for new cutlery? They live on your land, not respecting your rules seems like a real knife in the back. If they are adults you shouldn't have to spoon-feed them, I bet you have enough on your plate.

Hope this helps.

Fabulous.

AnotherOneGone · 23/05/2023 14:13

It's understandable that you're frustrated with the situation. Losing or misplacing dishes and cutlery can be inconvenient and costly. However, it's important to approach the issue with open communication and understanding rather than resorting to hiding or taking drastic measures. Here are a few suggestions on how to address the problem:

  1. Have a calm conversation: Sit down with your son and his girlfriend to discuss the issue. Express your concerns and frustrations about the disappearing dishes and cutlery. Emphasize the financial impact it has on you and the inconvenience it causes.
  2. Set clear expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations regarding the use and care of the dishes and cutlery. Explain that you would appreciate it if they could return the items to the kitchen after use. Encourage them to take responsibility for their actions and remind them of the cost and effort involved in constantly replacing these items.
  3. Offer alternatives: If they prefer eating in the caravan, you could suggest that they consider purchasing their own set of dishes and cutlery. This way, they can have their own designated items to use and it will reduce the likelihood of them mixing them up with yours.
  4. Compromise: Find a middle ground that works for everyone. For instance, you could agree on a system where they keep a set number of dishes and cutlery in the caravan, while leaving a sufficient number for you to use in the house. This way, you can avoid the constant need for replacements.
  5. Encourage responsibility: Remind your son and his girlfriend to be mindful of their actions and to take responsibility for their belongings. Reinforce the importance of respecting shared spaces and property.

Remember, it's important to approach the situation calmly and respectfully. By having an open dialogue and finding a compromise, you can hopefully resolve the issue and maintain a positive relationship with your son and his girlfriend.

[Sensible advice from my AI mumsnet reply bot]

Stressybetty · 23/05/2023 14:15

I'd just march in the caravan and take them all back. Same as if an adult child was living in my house.

PinkButtercups · 23/05/2023 14:17

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 23/05/2023 13:50

Why should you fork out for new cutlery? They live on your land, not respecting your rules seems like a real knife in the back. If they are adults you shouldn't have to spoon-feed them, I bet you have enough on your plate.

Hope this helps.

🤣🤣

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