To say no! I don’t bloody drink or smoke

[seekandyouwontfind]

I’ve had some fantastic medical staff take care of me over the last 4 years. But there are a few who have clearly not believed me when I say I don’t drink or smoke.

I had my tonsils out last week (I’m sure it’ll be great once healed but it’s bloody hard recovery wise, don’t do it lightly! I did have a wisdom tooth removed 2 weeks before and that’s still a bit sore though). Surgeon who came round looked and saw I had my appendix removed 4 weeks beforehand and asked if I drink a lot? I said no, no drinking. He said how often do you smoke? I said I do not smoke. He said yes but how much did you smoke if you’d smoked before? I said I have never smoked… he said ‘never?’. No, never.

I had my gallbladder removed 18 months ago. The surgeon (a different one), who came over to see me asked if I drink a lot at night. I said I really don’t drink, I don’t like the taste. He said ‘Hmm, interesting 🤔’… obviously I can’t relay his exact tone over text but it was really condescending

He saw me again after surgery and said ‘It went well, I hope that’s it for you and no more surgeries. That’s a lot of going under for a 25 year old! Take it easy now and stay well’ as if these surgeries were caused by not taking it easy

In the space of under 4 years, I’ve also had an ectopic pregnancy removed under GA and also a staple of my bottom (piles that were internal but sticking out got stapled via surgery). Nobody asked me this questions then because it’s not related to drinking and smoking

i know drinking and smoking are risk factors! Huge ones. But it’s as if some doctors don’t believe me when I tell them the truth.

I have naturally very white teeth too and I assumed smokers didn’t? But anyway, I do neither and find it so frustrating

Should add that it’s always seeming to be male doctors with the condescending tones. Huge generalisation but I find women actually listen to you… I find the same in paeds with my DD as she’s got a condition requiring a lot of hospital admissions

Poor OP, what a lot you’ve been through. YANBU to thing they shouldn’t doubt you!

I was recently in hospital too and I also don't drink or smoke. The nurse doing intake asked if I "really don't drink" when I answered that question.

I find people believe the not smoking easier than the not drinking. I now say I don't drink now because I did it all in my youth and they then seem to believe me. Or I'll indicate with my fingers how much of a glass I have (about 2cm of a champagne flute) every six months on average. The precision appears to bore them! 😂

And I agree with the pp that you've been through a lot. I hope you have a clear run from now on and that your DD doesn't need to be in the hospital asap.

@PostOpOp I suppose they’re right there, some people might say they don’t drink when actually they do have a few glasses a week but wouldn’t think to mention it

Alcohol gives me strong headaches after a few sips and I feel nauseous and light headed, I can’t drink the stuff. Plus I hate the taste!

They have to double check because, surprise surprise, people lie. Their reaction to being asked again can give away if they're lying or not, especially if you see it every day.

I went to the doctor a few years ago with stress induced IBS. I hadn’t had sex for about 2 years- they asked was I pregnant- I told them no, no way. They had a feel of my stomach, asked me to do a pregnancy test- I told them I wasn’t pregnant. They made me do it anyway. surprise, surprise the test came back negative. They told me “congratulations you’re not pregnant” and went to send me on my way without actually giving me any treatment for the issue I actually went in for…

I think if you have a condition which has a common cause, it's only human for a doctor to assume that is the cause when they see that condition in a patient. What you hear as condescending might be him re-evaluating your case in the light of new information… Of course he might be a condescending twat, but 'hmmm, interesting' strikes me more as a doctor being forced to think twice about the cause of a patient's problem.

Yes I have the same including my own family who always go on and on about how I don't drink (am also only non vaper) I have always felt like the black sheep for not doing it.

I also had a full on debate with a life insurance person years and years ago as he wouldn't accept I didn't drink. I ended up saying just put whatever you want on the form as you clearly don't believe I only have maybe 2 or 3 drinks a year!

Loooooads of people under report their alcohol and cigarette use when asked by medical professionals. So they're often a bit suspicious when they meet people who don't do either. They press because many people will respond with 'well, actually...' and admit that it's actually much higher than they're saying. Also bear in mine many of the people doctors see are unwell and many illnesses are made worse by smoking and drinking so they probably see a disproportionate number of smokers and drinkers!

I don't smoke at all and don't drink much (probably have a couple of glasses of wine once or twice per year) and I've been looked at with suspicion for that.

Don't take it personally. I promise it's not personal. They're just used to 8/10 people caving and giving them the true picture, which clinically is helpful for them.

I also think there's quite a high rate of drinking amongst nurses especially hence the shocked, horrified 'what? you don't drink AT ALL?' from them because it's so normalised in that field.

I believe you, OP, I've encountered so many medical professionals with that attitude.

I have heart failure and one of the risk factors for it is excessive drinking so I had the pleasure of that disbelieving attitude a LOT in the early days of my diagnosis. I had one or two drinks a year, IF that.

Mine is actually linked to a chemotherapy drug and a gene of unknown significance (possibly genetic, possibly not - not enough data to say).

I've had that eyebrow raise, questioning look as well OP. It's very annoying but they're just doing their job - lots of people do lie because they know full well they shouldn't be smoking or drinking.

One time I was annoyed by a condescending midwife so went into great detail. 'Well, I did occasionally smoke in my teens but I never liked inhaling so I mostly just held the cigarette... I think I last had one at a festival when I was 21, nearly 20 years ago. I rarely drink, I last had a drink at Christmas...' etc etc. They really don't care though, they just want to give the opportunity for someone to admit to it.

So in the space of a month you've had your appendix and wisdom teeth and tonsils removed?

I don't drink or smoke either - I also get the checking thing re drinking from doctors and it's annoying. I stopped drinking completely as it triggered a migraine, it was no bother I wasn't that into it anyway. I went to a GP recently who asked me how much I drank, I said I don't drink any alcohol. He then said "I see, but how many cheeky glasses of wine in the week are we talking?" Like he could coax the info out of me. I said I don't drink, it triggers migraines, over the years I've grown to not even like the smell so I don't drink anything at all. His response "What, nothing?!" I was polite and yes said "correct" but felt like saying don't project your own alcohol issues on to me!

I know they say people lie, but if you've bare-faced lied why would you then change your story if they ask again.

I would presume they have their reasons for asking and not just going with something they conspired with because they were bored

They also don't always record it correctly.

Was having a look through my GP online health record thingy the other day and noticed they'd marked me down as 'six units per week' in my eighth month of pregnancy! I went teetotal the week we started trying and didn't drink again until my kid was 1-2 and I was done breastfeeding. If they'd asked me about my intake I'd have absolutely said zero. Was quite shocked to see that other people accessing my record would assume I was drinking while pregnant.

It's just standard questions. I hear patients being asked if they drink or smoke and their instant reaction is no. Then asked again in conversation they say only 2 at a weekend etc.

It's like everyone is defensive about it.

It's because people generally lie about it. God knows why, we really do not care, we just would like an honest answer!
And I think you've read too much into the take it easy comment - it's a general throw away platitude, not a pointed comment!

My dentist used to tell me off every visit for eating too many sweets. I ate zero sweets. I just have crappy teeth. I guess they hear it all the time though!

DH and I don't drink or smoke for religious reasons.
We had social workers in the house as part of our adoption assessment and they couldn't beleive this.
One of them said "I don't know anyone who doesn't drink and smoke"
They were so difficult. Social workers "trigger me" now 😀

Was having tests done yesterday. Answered no to drinking and smoking and they believed me straight off..must be my age: 60s
But my neighbour was asked..male and said l have a few drinks now and then: drinks about 5 pints most days. Asked about smoking and said l have a few: smokes 2 packs a day!! So you can see why they are doubtful. By the way he is extremely unwell after that practice for most of his life.

I've been met with incredulity too, when stating I don't drink, though in fairness I was an 18 yo student at the time. It was true though!

I still don't drink and as I've gotten older I find I'm believed more readily.

People have very variable views on what "not drinking" means. I have a Polish friend who says he doesn't drink. He'll tell you this while drinking from a bottle of lager or fruit cider, what he means is he doesn't drink vodka and he doesn't get drunk.

I didn't drink alcohol for about 16 years and if I was asked I always specified I was teetotal and that normally seemed to do it.

DH always replies that he's not actually teetotal but couldn't say when he last had a drink, it could be weeks or it could be months. No idea what the doctors then write in his notes, but no one ever seems to press him further.

I recognise this scenario - I too neither smoke nor drink.

However I do understand why they do this - they are used to people lying or minimizing their drinking and smoking if this has caused their bad health - they do not like to admit it.