To have left...

[MischiefManaged91]

Name changed for this... not really an AIBU to an extent but also a handhold or some advice.

After months of bullying and isolation at work, I recently quit due to the severe impact this was having on my mental health. I'd literally come home crying and dread waking up the next day to go into the office. The final blow came when my manager was very passive aggressive within hours after i found out my grandad had died. Although I'm still yet to find another job, It has been a weight lifted off my shoulders but I'm still pained with niggling regret that I've made a mistake, I don't know if this is because I've not got any other options yet or not.

I also left my partner over the weekend. He is a lovely guy and I really do love him, there is a few problems underlying but I'm not sure if I'm blowing these up into more than they are just as an excuse to push him away. I can't help feeling that i cant make him happy and that he deserves so much better than me. I am suddenly convinced that he's just going to end up hurting me or doesn't actually want me anymore even though he says he does.

I feel like I'm destroying my life and shutting everyone away. I'm stuck in this forced unhappiness and I don't know what to do.

Was I unreasonable for ending things with my partner?

I don’t think anyone here will be able to answer that question.

What is clear, however, is that you are going through a hard time.

Do you have any support for your mental health I.e counsellors etc?

It’s impossible to tell without knowing what the underlying problems were, OP, but it sounds like quitting that job was the right decision if it was making you feel that awful. I hope you’re ok.

I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time and that you've lost your dad.

It sounds like leaving work was the right decision, don't worry about this - you'll find another job.

As for your partner, we don't have enough information to comment although if you left because you feel you're not good enough for him then that suggests you're acting from your grief as much as anything. Keep communication open if you can.

Generally, the advice is not to make any major life decisions too soon after a bereavement and you sound lost and in a lot of pain. I'm also wondering about your support structure - who is there to support you right now?

Sorry I should of been more clear about the relationship problems to give a dull picture...

The issues are that he often (on his 2 days off from work) will go out on a drinking binge, to the extent of he will be at the pub for 9.30am. This has now recently got to the point where he will have a few bottles or cans at home after work. I also found out 2 weeks ago that on the days out drinking (Monday and thursday) he has been buying/ticking on cocaine, before this I had no idea he had anything to do with drugs. There's also been a few rumours circulating that he's back involved with an old friends with benefits he had before me, I've also been receiving messages from who I assume is this woman saying he wants her, is with her, etc... he denies the rumours and messages are true but someone who is jealous that he is happy.

OP - good for you ! You sound like you have had a lightbulb moment and thought …. Fuck this shit. Ive had enough. Im worth more than this nasty bullying job and awful boyfriend. Drinking at 9am ?? Cocaine ?? Ex FWB ?? No thanks - done

Hope you can get support to help you through this time in your left and look back and think ….. thank fuck I left that behind 💐

This.