Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to sack the cleaner? (and how do I do it!)

30 replies

notunreasonable · 23/05/2023 09:26

We've had the same cleaner for about the last 2 years. She comes to our house once a week for a few hours. A few weeks ago I went to brush my teeth one day after she'd been to the house, and I noticed my toothbrush was utterly wrecked. I never let my toothbrushes get in a bad state like that. I wondered if she might have been using it to clean (that made me feel like vomiting), and then thought to myself 'no, surely no-one would do that', so I put it down to me not having noticed the brush getting in such a state, threw it in the bin and used another one.

Then last week my daughter came to tell me that she thinks the cleaner used her toothbrush to clean her sink. My daughter does art in her bedroom, and said there'd been blue paint in the sink, and that evening her toothbrush had blue paint on it.

Honestly I am so shocked that someone would do that, and the thought of us all potentially ingesting chemicals she's been using to clean turns my stomach. Everything is pointing at her using the toothbrushes to clean but I cannot understand what the reason would be that she'd do that and I am utterly baffled.

I have no idea what to do. I am as sure as I can be that she's been doing that, but obviously no evidence other than the above 2 instances.

AIBU to get rid of her? And how on earth do I do it? If I ring her she'll presumably deny it? Do I just text and say we don't need her anymore? I feel ill at the thought of it all.

OP posts:
Aria2015 · 23/05/2023 09:37

Eek! That is so gross!! Assuming you have no contract where you need to give her notice. Just send her a message and say that you no longer need her services. If she has indeed been using your toothbrushes, she may well not ask why, as she may suspect she's been caught out! And if she does ask why, you're not obliged to say anything, but you could tell her the truth or just make something up. Either way, don't feel bad - she's been using your toothbrushes to clean god knows what, it's her that should feel bad!!

AnnWithoutAnnie · 23/05/2023 09:47

That's gross.

You don't need proof, you have no obligation to book her services (unless you have a contract? But even then, under the circumstances it wouldn't be enforceable)

I'd just text her and say she's no longer required. I doubt she'll query it, but if she does I'd just say that we don't appreciate having our toothbrushes used for cleaning.

If she says she didn't, just tell her that you're not arguing about it, you no longer wish to book her services.

HRTSavedMyHusband · 23/05/2023 09:59

I really, REALLY doubt she has used your toothbrush to clean. Has she got a reason to dislike you that much?? Does she seem like a psychopath??

Trying to think logically, apologies if this is obvious: lots of toothpaste has a blue tinge. What toothpaste does your daughter use? Had you mentioned the concerns about the toothbrushes to your daughter before she said about it?

And I’ve often suddenly noticed how wrecked a toothbrush head is, so I honestly think that is more likely than her using it to clean.

Is she from an agency? How did you find her?

By all means let her go for whatever reason, but this seems quite a stretch.

Original poster
notunreasonable · 23/05/2023 12:30

I don't think she has reason to dislike me, I hardly see her as she's usually there when I'm at work. Who knows what the motivation is but I am pretty sure it's happening.

My daughters toothpaste is white, and I had not mentioned anything to her about my own concerns about my toothbrush.

I found her through a local facebook group. No contract thankfully.

I know it sounds so bizarre but I can think of no other way that this would have happened to 2 toothbrushes in such a short space of time.

OP posts:
2bazookas · 23/05/2023 12:58

You say to her " It has come to my attention you've been using our toothbrushes to clean the house. That is disgusting, and a breach of our trust Here is your last pay. Give our keys back now. Don't ask me for a reference. "

Arxx · 23/05/2023 13:00

I would definitely just go with the text saying you’re not going to need a cleaner at the moment.. but ewww 😩

GoodChat · 23/05/2023 13:00

2bazookas · 23/05/2023 12:58

You say to her " It has come to my attention you've been using our toothbrushes to clean the house. That is disgusting, and a breach of our trust Here is your last pay. Give our keys back now. Don't ask me for a reference. "

Yep - a simple text will do. Ask her to post the keys through the door so you don't have to resist the urge to confront her.

AmberTart · 23/05/2023 13:03

I'd get the keys back before accusing her of anything. Be at home next time she's due, get your keys back and then tell accuse her. You can either pay her for that final clean that she doesn't do or not.

MapoTofuLettuce · 23/05/2023 13:03

I would get your keys back first (or change the locks). If she has actually been doing this, she sounds unpredictable.

DogInATent · 23/05/2023 13:03

You need to tell her over the phone that you don't need her services any more, and if she has a set of keys you need to receive them from her in-person - not posted through the door. Give her a receipt for the keys.

It's up to you whether or not to tell her why. As you're asking the question on MN you may not have the confidence to tackle the issue, so just keep it to "no longer required" if that's the case.

FinanceLPlates · 23/05/2023 13:09

If you suspect some sort of bizarre, sneaky psychopathic behaviour I would make sure to get the keys back without giving her the time to make copies! So eg be at home when she’s next due and ask for them back on the spot while you tell her.

FinanceLPlates · 23/05/2023 13:10

Cross posted with lots of others…

NuffSaidSam · 23/05/2023 13:14

I'd start with thinking how you'd like to be treated in this scenario.

You work somewhere for two years, no problem. Then your boss gets the idea into their head (with little to no evidence) that you've done something really revolting/verging on psychopathic.

Would you expect the chance to defend yourself? Or you'd be happy to just be sacked?

What about your daughter? How would she like to be treated? How would you like her to be treated?

I'd treat the cleaner in line with how you'd both want to be treated.

WalnutWhippy · 23/05/2023 13:21

I had the same suspicion and started removing all toothbrushes before she arrived. But once I'd gone off her, I couldn't warm to her again and eventually texted to say I didn't need her 'for the next while' (ie. ever).

saraclara · 23/05/2023 13:37

I wouldn't get accusatory with her. I'd just say you don't need her any more. It's really not worth getting into a spat with someone who's had access to your house and your belongings.

If you do want to have her with it, I'd ask for the keys back, but I'd also swap the lock barrels of the door she had keys for. It's a five minute job that costs less than a tenner.

Thoughtful2355 · 23/05/2023 13:42

NO SHE DIDNT ! Who on earth does that??? Im actually sickened, that could have made you all really unwell!!!! Id have to ask her, i couldnt not haha

HurdyGurdy19 · 23/05/2023 14:20

I use toothbrushes to clean around the tap in the bathroom, but god, never one that is then going in someone's mouth!

As others have said, get your keys back (preferably in person) and change the locks, and then ask if she uses toothbrushes when she cleans.

And dispense with her services PDQ.

Nevermind31 · 23/05/2023 14:31

I once had a cleaner for a trial that was about to use the toilet cloth for the dining table - I told the agency not to send her back.
my cleaner has asked for a toothbrush to clean…
just tell her you won’t need a cleaner anymore (cost of living).

Nomad12 · 23/05/2023 14:38

God knows what else she's been doing! Get keys back and definitely mention it as she's probably doing this in all her cleaning jobs!

GoodChat · 23/05/2023 14:42

Nevermind31 · 23/05/2023 14:31

I once had a cleaner for a trial that was about to use the toilet cloth for the dining table - I told the agency not to send her back.
my cleaner has asked for a toothbrush to clean…
just tell her you won’t need a cleaner anymore (cost of living).

Do you mean the cloth she had just used for the toilet?

Original poster
notunreasonable · 23/05/2023 15:00

Thanks everyone. Thankfully she doesn't have keys. My husband works from home so is there to let her in. I'll send her a text without explanation, just that we don't need her any more.

Nuffsaidsam - I hear you, and will have a think about how to do this properly. I just don't think I'm able to trust her or would feel comfortable having her in the house cleaning. I might offer a couple of weeks pay to compensate and allow her time to find something else. Thanks for that.

OP posts:
Nevermind31 · 23/05/2023 15:43

GoodChat · 23/05/2023 14:42

Do you mean the cloth she had just used for the toilet?

Show quote history

Yes - one cloth for everything 🤮

PurpleNebula84 · 23/05/2023 21:46

Nevermind31 · 23/05/2023 15:43

Yes - one cloth for everything 🤮

Show quote history

My ex did similar (and is one of the many reasons he is now an ex) - he cleaned the kitchen floor and then proceeded to wipe down the work tops with the cloth he had just used clean the floor, along with the same water - I was very nearly sick and he couldn't fathom why it was so disgusting 🤢🤢

CoraPirbright · 23/05/2023 21:54

Surely no one does this?🤮🤮🤮

Can you record her somehow for proof?

CombatBarbie · 23/05/2023 21:54

I have a toothbrush in my housework caddy, but it doesn't belong to anyone. I use it for. Taps and getting into corners/windows.

I'd be more concerned she'd used it to clean the toilet!!!!