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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned with nursery ?

16 replies

lucie333 · 23/05/2023 08:17

First time I witnessed a problem was about 8 weeks ago when I went to collect my boys from nursery, they let me in to help get them ready and as I walked past the baby room a little boy was crying standing in the middle of the room and no one was there, it did concern me and I said to someone the office that he was there crying.

Second time was yesterday when I went in for a meeting, 2 of the staff were sitting doing paper work ( baby room again) and another little boy was hysterically crying looking up at them and he was getting ignored, I made a point to let them know I noticed him still nothing was done, this upset me. There's 3/4 people in the baby room there's no way 1 of them couldn't try comfort him, I have a little boy in the baby room he's 1 so this is making me worry like mad!

Am I possibly over thinking this? They are lovely people and both my boys can't wait to go in! Sometimes not so happy to leave ! 😂 but I can't shake how this has made me feel

OP posts:
marshmallowmatcha · 23/05/2023 08:18

In your first example - could you see the whole room? Are you saying a child was left unattended in a room with no staff in it? That is VERY serious.

MRex · 23/05/2023 08:21

Go with your gut instinct. The staff are lovely to you, but if they are happily ignoring a crying child then they do not care about the children.

Hugasauras · 23/05/2023 08:23

I wouldn't be happy with this at all. I've never seen a baby left crying at my daughter's nursery or being ignored. Staff are always offering cuddles etc. if a baby is upset. Poor wee souls Sad It should be obvious from your first visit how much the staff genuinely care about the kids they look after. When I went to view our nursery, kids were spontaneously coming up to staff for a cuddle or just to show them stuff and it was clear the staff were very engaged with the children.

Original poster
lucie333 · 23/05/2023 08:24

@marshmallowmatcha yes I stepped into the room and no one was there that's why I let office know. All the rooms are connected with a door in the middle so I'm not sure if someone was looking from the other room or not!

OP posts:
Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 23/05/2023 08:27

lucie333 · 23/05/2023 08:24

@marshmallowmatcha yes I stepped into the room and no one was there that's why I let office know. All the rooms are connected with a door in the middle so I'm not sure if someone was looking from the other room or not!

that is shocking, I could understand if there were two babies and one member of staff and they were changing the other baby in the corner of the room but to leave a baby on its own is a HUGE deal.

if I was you I would write an email to the manager asking for a meeting as you want to know why this is happening and what’s going to stop it happening.

Our nursery has cctv in each room.

Also filling out paperwork and ignoring kids is not ideal but sometimes can’t be helped if it’s an incident form or something that has to be done then and there. But still you’d expect maybe one person to do that and someone comfort the child.

Original poster
lucie333 · 23/05/2023 08:28

Hugasauras · 23/05/2023 08:23

I wouldn't be happy with this at all. I've never seen a baby left crying at my daughter's nursery or being ignored. Staff are always offering cuddles etc. if a baby is upset. Poor wee souls Sad It should be obvious from your first visit how much the staff genuinely care about the kids they look after. When I went to view our nursery, kids were spontaneously coming up to staff for a cuddle or just to show them stuff and it was clear the staff were very engaged with the children.

@Hugasauras
Yes it's made me feel very comfortable, I'll have a chat with them today!

My oldest has great relationships with the staff he's always telling me how much he loves them and doesn't leave without giving his favourite ones a cuddle. It's completely different staff in the baby room, I'm definitely going to need to talk to them about it.

OP posts:
marshmallowmatcha · 23/05/2023 09:04

lucie333 · 23/05/2023 08:24

@marshmallowmatcha yes I stepped into the room and no one was there that's why I let office know. All the rooms are connected with a door in the middle so I'm not sure if someone was looking from the other room or not!

That is awful. There is no way you should have been able to be in a room alone with a child who isn't yours. I would email the manager and ask for a meeting and explain what you saw. I would seriously consider removing your child and reporting to ofsted if the manager cannot answer you satisfactorily.

AbreathofFrenchair · 23/05/2023 10:38

lucie333 · 23/05/2023 08:24

@marshmallowmatcha yes I stepped into the room and no one was there that's why I let office know. All the rooms are connected with a door in the middle so I'm not sure if someone was looking from the other room or not!

Doesnt matter if someone was looking through the door at the child in the room on their own. The child shouldn't be left alone in the room without staff.

Make it clear to the Nursery what you have seen and you are within your rights to raise it with Ofsted too.

The first nursery I worked at got downgraded to inadequate and had a welfare requirement slapped on them too for exactly the same thing.

And I say this as a now Deputy of a Nursery.

AbreathofFrenchair · 23/05/2023 10:41

lucie333 · 23/05/2023 08:17

First time I witnessed a problem was about 8 weeks ago when I went to collect my boys from nursery, they let me in to help get them ready and as I walked past the baby room a little boy was crying standing in the middle of the room and no one was there, it did concern me and I said to someone the office that he was there crying.

Second time was yesterday when I went in for a meeting, 2 of the staff were sitting doing paper work ( baby room again) and another little boy was hysterically crying looking up at them and he was getting ignored, I made a point to let them know I noticed him still nothing was done, this upset me. There's 3/4 people in the baby room there's no way 1 of them couldn't try comfort him, I have a little boy in the baby room he's 1 so this is making me worry like mad!

Am I possibly over thinking this? They are lovely people and both my boys can't wait to go in! Sometimes not so happy to leave ! 😂 but I can't shake how this has made me feel

How come you can see into the rooms and see what is happening but the people you were meeting with couldn't?

For this one it could be a number of things that the child is losing their temper and is best left to calm down before staff interaction but based on the other incident, I'd say it's highly likely they continually leave the children to cry and probably have left yours to cry in the baby room too

Original poster
lucie333 · 23/05/2023 10:47

@AbreathofFrenchair I was let in, person I was meeting said she would be a few mins to take a seat in hall way I could see the child at the corner of my eye- waited a few mins when I couldn't see anyone go to him so I stepped fully into the room & I let the office know, I'm assuming the person who let me in didn't know child was on his own as she could t see fully into the class room as you need to step all the way in- hope that makes sense!

OP posts:
WaltzingWaters · 23/05/2023 10:51

The baby absolutely should not have been left alone. That is very serious.

The baby crying, it’s sad and they obviously should have given the baby attention, but also sadly nursery staff have so much paperwork to do nowadays that it takes them away from actually being able to be with the children.

AbreathofFrenchair · 23/05/2023 10:58

WaltzingWaters · 23/05/2023 10:51

The baby absolutely should not have been left alone. That is very serious.

The baby crying, it’s sad and they obviously should have given the baby attention, but also sadly nursery staff have so much paperwork to do nowadays that it takes them away from actually being able to be with the children.

Actually since the EYFS was reformed in 2021/2022 it has done away with nearly all paperwork.

The only requirements for paperwork now are 2 year old checks. Even SENCO doesnt need recording if you choose not to. Planning doesn't need recording and observations are for parents and hold o weight or benefit. Safeguarding and accident forms and medicine forms need recording but not to the point two members of staff are taken out of ratio to deal with it

Staff are supposed to be able to know their key children inside out as are their buddies and should know enough about children to know what is typical development.

Sadly, the industry is on its knees, undervalued, criticised by everyone and scorned at resulting in fantastic, caring and experiences and knowledgable leaving the job in their hundreds, possibly thousands

PinkPlantCase · 23/05/2023 11:03

We’ve been using the baby room for almost 18 months now as DS is almost 2 and he started nursery at 6 months. We’ve seen the room at lots of different times of the day for various reasons, pick ups for appointments or sickness etc.

I have never seen anything like this. There might be an upset child in a high chair if it’s breakfast time and the staff is just getting something but other than that upset children are always comforted and never alone or ignored. Even if they’re filling out paperwork with a child on their knee. This would really ring alarm bells for me.

Do they have a good ofsted? How long ago were they inspected?

PinkPlantCase · 23/05/2023 11:05

In our nursery the staff generally know all the children across different ages so I would expect anyone there to be able to step in and offer comfort if needed

SallyWD · 23/05/2023 11:18

I think this is quite common sadly. When my son had his settling in session at the baby room at nursery there were several crying babies and staff were ignoring them. This was with me sitting there for an hour! They clearly didn't think they were doing anything wrong.
I'm not judging here (both my children went to nursery) but whilst many nursery staff are excellent it's not really a loving environment, is it? I find that some staff aren't particularly interested in the children. This seems to be particularly the case with babies who I suppose are less fun and interactive than toddlers.

Original poster
lucie333 · 23/05/2023 16:26

PinkPlantCase · 23/05/2023 11:05

In our nursery the staff generally know all the children across different ages so I would expect anyone there to be able to step in and offer comfort if needed

Yes, i have seen this happen on occasion too. I think it just rubbed me the wrong way because he was looking up at them crying obviously wanting their attention- I just wanted to pick him up and give him a cuddle the poor baby was crying for his mummy 😢 breaks my heart to think of my son crying for me and getting ignored 😢

OP posts:
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