Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is Being Unreasonable?

38 replies

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 22/05/2023 20:46

Friends A, B, C are friends for years.

Friend A suggested going to a concert & loves the band, knows for year B & C don't.

Friends B says yes but only if we make a weekend of it - doesn't really like the band but want a long overdue catch up.

Friend C - really doesn't like the band but agrees to a catch up weekend.

Friend B has now cancelled & has an excuse which C considers reasonable but A is annoyed and thinks it's just a handy excuse not to go.

C really doesn't want to go if all 3 not going and suggests rescheduling.

A annoyed by this. A doesn't want to ask anyone else. A doesn't want the price of her ticket covered. A is just annoyed her friends won't want to go. B & C think A always gets her one way but A doesn't see it this way. There is a lot of bad feelings on all sides.

Any thoughts?

I tried to be unbiased but it's probably obvious who I am!

OP posts:
minou123 · 22/05/2023 22:19

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 22/05/2023 22:14

Ah, it had started so well!!

B has no complications wth her pregnancy but in fairness, it is a standing concert. I don't know if she's being unreasonable but she has made her decision anyway.

Yes, I'm C. I said no originally but allowed myself to be talked around which is completely my own fault & I regret it.

I haven't cancelled yet but as much as I want to, I think it would be kind of lousy of me to do so. I know that A is unlikely to put herself out for me or B which I think is probably the bigger issue. She does have a lot of good points but is a little self centered & has cancelled herself in the past.

I guess the right thing to do is go because I said I would. Thanks for the help.

You played that well.

I had you down as A! 😁

I can understand why you don't want to go now, B has cancelled and you don't like the band.

But lesson learnt, don't feel pressurised into agreeing plans you don't really want to do.

ellenpartridge · 22/05/2023 22:25

The most unreasonable one is C

holliebo · 22/05/2023 22:36

The fact B & C don't like the band is irrelevant now.
It was relevant at the time A asked but once they agreed to go, it's their own choice. Once you commit to something you shouldn't flake because you don't like something that you knew you disliked and agreed to go.

B is in the wrong for using the excuse of being 4 months pregnant (unless there is a back story). C is even more pathetic than B - "I'm not going with my friend cos my bestie won't be there anymore"

Did you have a petted lip and stamp your feet at the time?

Popsicle42 · 22/05/2023 22:43

A asked. Neither B nor C needed to say yes, but did.
B’s excuse if an uncomplicated 2nd pregnancy is pathetic. At 4 months pregnant there’s absolutely no reason why she can’t have a weekend away and go to a gig. I went to one 10 days before my due date and had a blast.
And you, as C need to go. You can’t “rearrange” if you’ve bought tickets for a gig - the band isn’t going to simply change the date of the gig.

Besides, I’ve sometimes gone to see bands I’m not that into and ended up coming away as a converted fan - might be the same for B and C.

JandalsAlways · 22/05/2023 23:52

If it's a weekend away, why can't you all still go and B can stay in wherever you're staying while you're at the concert? There's no need to cancel overall?

Pixiedust1234 · 23/05/2023 00:50

A B and C can still have a long weekend together.

A and C go to concert, B rests up and meets them afterwards. Its only a couple of hours out of 48 ? Why cancel it all?

Aprilx · 23/05/2023 06:15

I don’t think that A has done anything wrong at all, all she did was suggest a particular night out, to which her two friends agreed and then subsequently dropped out. C is definitely the most unreasonable because she is essentially saying I am not going with just you A which is very rude.

rookiemere · 23/05/2023 06:58

Ah I thought you were A !

If you're C I think you need to go, because you agreed to. Are you actually having to go to the concert itself or can you skip that bit ?

I don't think anyone is necessarily being unreasonable. I can remember the crushing tiredness and nausea of early pregnancy, but I've also been in the scenario where I really, really want to see a band.

Clarinet1 · 23/05/2023 07:10

If you are C, I think you should still go. You will still get to spend time with a friend whom you presumably enjoy seeing. If B is pregnant she has a right to do what she feels is right for her and the baby. She may not be telling you everything about the pregnancy. One other thought - some bands can be a different experience live than recorded if you haven’t seen this one live before so, as a PP suggested, you might like the gig more than you expect.

marshmallowmatcha · 23/05/2023 07:12

Ahh I thought you were A. Nicely done.

I said no originally but allowed myself to be talked around which is completely my own fault & I regret it. I think you see the issue here. So yes its annoying you didn't want to go initially but you agreed. I guess you could say I didn't want to go in the first place so I'm pulling out too and next time don't pressure me when I've said no. But this will cause upset.

BrutusMcDogface · 23/05/2023 07:17

B is being ridiculous as 4 months pregnant with an uncomplicated pregnancy is no reason not to go. I think you should still go, but that’s what you’ve decided to do so good. You might even enjoy it.

OfTheNight · 23/05/2023 07:35

I don’t get why B isn’t going? Is she not working or anything? She’s really limiting her life if she’s not going to do anything until the baby arrives. That’s a bit odd.

I think you and B are being a bit unfair to A. Don’t you like her?

You might enjoy the concert anyway. One of my friends has the completely opposite taste to me. She’s sugary pop and I’m a metal head but I’ve had fun going to watch Britney with her. Mainly because she’s my friend and I love her. Seems like you and B don’t like A all that much, but won’t address the issue.

Hollyhead · 23/05/2023 07:36

I think B should go but if she doesn’t feel up to the concert then could skip that? Surely that was part of the point of making a weekend of it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread