To be livid she's destroyed my plant

[Allyoli]

I had a comfrey plant growing on my allotment plot in the corner. It was about a metre tall, maybe 30cm wide? Totally within the bounds of my plot. And flowering. I like the flowers and the bees love it, so I left it to do it's thing.

Woman on the plot next to mine has the most perfect (albeit sterile) looking vegetable plot - everything in perfect squares, not a leaf out of place, only vegetables, no flowers. She's there for several hours every morning. She doesn't talk to or respond to anyone on the plot, which is obviously fine.

Anyway, in the past day or so she decided to take it upon herself to come over to my plot and completely flatten my comfrey plant. I could see footprints that aren't mine in the soil. I asked if she had done it and she admitted she had because the flowers will soon turn to seed and spread on her plot.

I'm livid. Surely anyone's plants/flowers/weeds in the entire allotment site could spread seeds to yout plot at any time? Whats she going to do next, destroy all my crops before they're ready in case they spread to her plot? Aibu? How can I get her to stay off my plot without things escalating?

This is like an episode of Midsomer Murders.

The joyful thing about this is that comfrey spreads by vast, branching taproots which form large colonies. She’s just pissed it off, it will be back with its friends to colonise her pristine allotment very soon.

Definitely report! Cheeky bitch

Wee on her rhubarb. It'll be a change from custard.

I would post you some freshly dug up mares tail from my allotment but that's taking it a bit nuclear

But seriously, just wink and I'll know.....

Could you ask the other allotment holders if she has form for this sort of thing. They might also know the best action to take.

Do you have T&C's for the allotment usage? Surely 1 of them would be not to damage, destroy or trespass on someone elses plot?

Yup chuck weed seeds over. And maybe the odd bit of bird food to encourage them to come down and peck her crops too

I didn't expect this to spiral into a thread of allotment revenge tips, but it has very much cheered me up about the whole thing. Thanks everyone.

@ginswinger Wishing you all the best with the mares tail...

My comfrey is a variety called Bocking 14, which is sterile and doesn't spread by roots either. I've grown it for decades with zero spread; I harvest it to ground level regularly ( for compost activator and fertiliser tea) and it springs back in weeks. So I doubt she's killed yours

But she has surely breached her allotment contract and the allotment organisers will take a VERY dim view. Make maximum noise.

Meanwhile, throw every snail and slug onto her plot.

I would be hiring a pack of dogs to come down and dig up/shit all over her allotment 😉

What about a MASSIVE amount of horse manure delivered onto her plot, turn it into a giant manure heap!

I’m here for this - I am often very disappointed when I open a thread to find I have misread the title and it is not going in the direction I expected.

I love this @Daffodil92, but don't think I'd have the nerve to do it 😅 (always wonder if she has a camera on her plot, she seems so protective of it).

Wildflower seed bombs. Take up Interpretative Dance. She'll never catch the occasional flying ball of pretty wildflower seeds devastation on camera!

Just stating my sheer outrage - also a supporter of revenge seeding (not comfrey of course).

I will gladly post you creeping cinquefoil, couch grass, green alkanet, and snails to share with her.

The comfrey will recover. Now you know where to throw your snails.

Sounds like you need a protective hedge between the plots. I hear bamboo grows well...

Aww, your poor wee plant This would make me sad.
Japanese Knotweed for her

If you don't want to report her, you need to reciprocate. Go and pull one of her plants out. Admit it.

I'd sow a load of wild grass and wildflower seeds in her plot. Bitch.

True. Also, it stinks to high heaven and the smells spreads all around.

As soon as your comfrey grows back I expect you'll be making a big bucket of comfrey water right close to her boundary..

I'm as outraged as everyone else but loving all the creative suggestions (and think it'll grow back more quickly than you imagine).

I'd definitely soak some of the crushed comfrey in a bucket of water and hope the smell annoyed her.

And tell every other plot-holder what's happened (as her behaviour would be considered serious rule-breaking on every allotment site I've ever been on) and consider volunteering for the committee in future.

She needs dandelions in her life. They'll destroy her will to live 😂

Shocked that in all these revenge seed posts no one has pointed out that the seeds need to be sprinkled on her plot in the shape of a massive dick.

Tbh though I think I’d be flinging some dog food on to her plot in the dark of night. Hopefully all the local foxes and rats will then come a-digging and a-shitting. And they’ll helpfully eat the evidence for you.

I mean what the hell though. Who does that. Seriously, you should complain even if the management are crap, someone must have at least minimum oversight.

This! I put comfrey in a pair of tights and let it marinate in my water butt. Makes fab plant food.

Revenge OP. Poppies. A few packets of seeds will have them coming for years (my granny nearly killed me for that).

Comfrey- have in my garden for years. Undestructible plant.
Usually I wait until bees have finished and cut the plant for tomato fertiliser. Comfrey regrows without seedling everywhere, everybody’s happy.

Have to agree comfrey fertiliser is the most stinky liquid on earth. Great for repelling whiny children from my greenhouse. One sharp intake of comfrey fumes and instead of “muuuuuuuum” they retreat hadtily leaving me to potter about without dusruptions.

Get those poppy seeds OP. 🙂

Oh,and tell this woman to never come to your plot again unless she wants her one trampled on.