How do you keep panic at bay on run up to distressing hospital check ups?

[Howtokeepbreathing]

I have to do this appointment for a terrifying progressive disease every 2 to 3 months. I feel thankful I have a very good medical team but it completely frightens me, is invasive, and from a few days beforehand, it's mentally difficult to handle. The dread is hard to describe.

How does everyone else cope with these kinds of appointments?

Can I ask how long it has been since your diagnosis?

I’m wondering if you could discuss with your healthcare provider whether less frequent appointments would be appropriate in the circumstances (I’m not saying they are).
I also wonder antidepressant’s could help actually as it sounds like a type of anxiety response?

About 15 years. I have had periods within that of only having to go for check ups every 4 or 6 months, but had a significant deterioration in 2020 so now it's every 2 o 3 months.

I’m wondering if you could discuss with your healthcare provider whether less frequent appointments would be appropriate in the circumstances (I’m not saying they are).

That definitely is not a safe option. We're doing the best we can to prevent things getting worse and unfortunately, that means very close monitoring.

I also wonder antidepressant’s could help actually as it sounds like a type of anxiety response?

Yes it is anxiety, complete outright anxiety and fear.

I guess you’ve tried all the at home type remedies? If so I would go to the gp for anti anxiety meds, you have enough to contend with without the anxiety on top.

Propranolol or something stronger

I just zoned out and went onto autopilot; invariably took a taxi to the hospital so I didn't have to think about transport or time, and despite DH's wishes I always went alone so there was no third party distraction.

I took a pad and pen, with every question /thing I wanted to say written down in advance; and I also wrote down every DR's response. That's because I was so much on autopilot I knew my brain would be frozen.

I had very frequent biopsies and coped by blanking out until I'd had the result.

Back then I did a lot of yoga and meditation with breathing awareness, which makes "zoning out" automatic with practice. I recommend both.

I forgot; I also used Bachs Rescue Remedy.

I know the feeling well. Before mine I struggle to sleep, get really anxious and snappy, hate everybody with their healthy lives who has no idea what it’s like to have their life hanging in the balance and I’m generally horrible to myself and everybody I have contact with.
I’ve really tried to see my appointments as good and focus on them being the only thing between me and the problems I would face without them but it’s hard.
The only thing that comes close to helping is completely blocking it out. I allow myself one day of emotional recovery (it’s a self pity party) and then it’s back to the countdown. I’m not sure it’s a healthy approach but it’s the best I can do.
I’m sorry you have to go through this too and I hope you have somebody in your life who is understanding and supportive. I wish I had better advice…

Remind yourself knowing or not knowing does not change reality, you need to know, this is what I do whenever I have a horrible thing I need to check.

And I also channel Sherlocks phrase " don't worry about it, as if you worry and then it happens then you have suffered twice "