To ask for your help with this? Don't click if you're squeamish

Sparklfairy · 2023-05-22T03:49:29+00:00

Posting for traffic as I've only got a few hours. My friend had surgery for a skull fracture last week. He's asked me to come over today to help him wash the dried blood out of his hair. The only info I have is he can't get the surgical wounds wet (and there's a few), but seems to think he can just hang his head over the bath and I direct the shower head to the right place! I think this is a terrible idea. Full disclosure, he has an actual allergy --not really-- to being bored and waiting, so when discharge was delayed by a couple of hours, I know damn fine he absolutely did not listen to any advice about how to clean around the wounds, so it's very much the blind leading the blind right now. He would have been 'yeah yeah yeah can I go now' and not heard a word. I've no idea what state his hair is in. I was thinking sort of taking it slowly (with disposable gloves on) and using cotton wool/cotton buds with mild shampoo or saline solution section by section? Sort of lather it up with as little water as possible, break it down and wipe it away? He can be quite impulsive, and more than once he's just said fuck it I might shave it off, but surely he's in danger of nicking the wounds/stitches? My DM suggested a beanie hat and just letting it bloody --pun intended-- heal and leave it the hell alone, which seems like a good option, but this 40 year old man is very 'I want what I want even if I regret it later' so if he's decided he wants rid of the blood that's making him feel dirty, that's what's happening. If anyone has any advice, pointers or something I haven't thought of I'd really appreciate it! [smile]

off · 22/05/2023 04:57

I wonder whether a really fine comb or a brush (being careful to avoid the scalp and wounds) might get the bulk of the dried blood out?

Original poster

Sparklfairy · 22/05/2023 05:05

@off That's a good idea. It did cross my mind and then I forgot about it going down a rabbit hole googling. I wonder whether a fine comb and maybe dry shampoo, and then a hat would be enough of a stop gap for him.

I'm not trying to avoid getting my hands dirty btw. He's just a stubborn character and once he gets a thought in his head, 'ewww blood in my hair I need to get rid of it NOW', there's no talking to him. Personally if I'd just have surgery I would be staying the fuck away from it - taking any risks and having to go back because of infection would not be on the agenda. But he doesn't think like that

OP posts:

Original poster

Sparklfairy · 22/05/2023 05:06

Oh, and he's already admitted to scratching around at the area. 'I thought I was picking off dried blood, then realised it was the stitches...' So he can't be trusted.

OP posts:

off · 22/05/2023 05:20

I sympathise with him, because once something's started bugging me, I pick at it until I've caused ten times as much damage trying to get rid of whatever the irregularity was. But I've also experienced an infected surgical wound after being given incorrect info telling me it was okay to wash the blood and crap out of my hair… for me, the eventual consequences were just a larger, nastier version of the scar I would've had on my neck for the rest of my life anyway, which is a lot less terrifying than anything involving skulls and brains. So I think your refusal to just point a shower-head at it is entirely justified 😅

Summerscomin · 22/05/2023 05:25

I'd go with your cotton wool/warm water method OP. You'll be able to be quite specific where you put it.
Not quite the same, but similar, it's how I got all the blood and stuff out of DD's hair when she was born and it was more effective than I thought it would be!
Good luck 🤞

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 22/05/2023 05:37

Well done you for being a good friend who is willing to reign this person in and try to help
out while being mindful of their ongoing health not just cleaning them up.

I would consider getting some 99.9% water fragrance free baby wipes, gauze squares and saline pods and large cotton wool pads (like make up removal pads)

Start furthest away from with wounds using the wet wipes and holding a couple in each hand, take sections of hair and rub in circular motion between the wipes to remove the majority of dried on blood - I might even consider using a plastic wide toothed comb to ‘detangle’ that’s hair.

Nearer the wounds/surgery site I would go very carefully and would use saline soaked gauze to gently clean the hair/scalp round the actual breaks in the skin while being careful to avoid putting pressure on the sutures or glue or any forming scabs. Then I would use the cotton wool pads to gently pat any excess moisture from his skin - though you may find there isn’t much.

What I would avoid completely if possible is soaking his head especially over a bath with a shower head or jug as you can’t control water in any way and could disturb the wounds delaying healing let alone the risk of introducing bacteria.

greenspaces4peace · 22/05/2023 05:44

My dh had brain surgery and an incision line, he showered washed his hair after a few days. Kept it clean, dried. Staples out at 10 days.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 22/05/2023 05:54

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 22/05/2023 05:37

Well done you for being a good friend who is willing to reign this person in and try to help
out while being mindful of their ongoing health not just cleaning them up.

I would consider getting some 99.9% water fragrance free baby wipes, gauze squares and saline pods and large cotton wool pads (like make up removal pads)

Start furthest away from with wounds using the wet wipes and holding a couple in each hand, take sections of hair and rub in circular motion between the wipes to remove the majority of dried on blood - I might even consider using a plastic wide toothed comb to ‘detangle’ that’s hair.

Nearer the wounds/surgery site I would go very carefully and would use saline soaked gauze to gently clean the hair/scalp round the actual breaks in the skin while being careful to avoid putting pressure on the sutures or glue or any forming scabs. Then I would use the cotton wool pads to gently pat any excess moisture from his skin - though you may find there isn’t much.

What I would avoid completely if possible is soaking his head especially over a bath with a shower head or jug as you can’t control water in any way and could disturb the wounds delaying healing let alone the risk of introducing bacteria.

This, also phone the ward where he was discharged from they will be able to advise you. Day shift should be coming on in a couple of hours.

HRTeatime · 22/05/2023 05:55

If he can wait until later could you order some nilaqua no rinse shampoo from Amazon for same day delivery? It works pretty well in a health care setting if you don’t want to be rinsing lots of water. It might take 2 or 3 goes if it’s very bloody.

Original poster

Sparklfairy · 22/05/2023 06:04

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 22/05/2023 05:37

Well done you for being a good friend who is willing to reign this person in and try to help
out while being mindful of their ongoing health not just cleaning them up.

I would consider getting some 99.9% water fragrance free baby wipes, gauze squares and saline pods and large cotton wool pads (like make up removal pads)

Start furthest away from with wounds using the wet wipes and holding a couple in each hand, take sections of hair and rub in circular motion between the wipes to remove the majority of dried on blood - I might even consider using a plastic wide toothed comb to ‘detangle’ that’s hair.

Nearer the wounds/surgery site I would go very carefully and would use saline soaked gauze to gently clean the hair/scalp round the actual breaks in the skin while being careful to avoid putting pressure on the sutures or glue or any forming scabs. Then I would use the cotton wool pads to gently pat any excess moisture from his skin - though you may find there isn’t much.

What I would avoid completely if possible is soaking his head especially over a bath with a shower head or jug as you can’t control water in any way and could disturb the wounds delaying healing let alone the risk of introducing bacteria.

This is fab advice, thank you so much for taking the time to write it all out.

OP posts:

marshmallowmatcha · 22/05/2023 06:07

Summerscomin · 22/05/2023 05:25

I'd go with your cotton wool/warm water method OP. You'll be able to be quite specific where you put it.
Not quite the same, but similar, it's how I got all the blood and stuff out of DD's hair when she was born and it was more effective than I thought it would be!
Good luck 🤞

Yes I'd do this

Original poster

Sparklfairy · 22/05/2023 07:42

Thanks everyone. @HRTeatime I might suggest he orders that if it's worse than I think it will be, I'm sort of hopeful it's going to be manageable with comb/wet wipes/cotton pads especially if he's already removed half the blood himself picking around at it

OP posts:

PurelyBelter · 22/05/2023 08:03

https://www.ouh.nhs.uk/patient-guide/leaflets/files/11585Pcranial.pdf

Page 4 - wound care. Seems like you can wash the hair just gan canny

Boxbedbank · 22/05/2023 08:16

I'm an ex surgical nurse. We used to advice washing with warm water (not shower head because of the force) only once wounds had been closed for a few days. Can use a fine comb/nit comb for removing blood. No shampoos until fully healed and then only non fragrance and what would be suitable for a babies skin. No cotton wool as fibres can get stuck. Make sure it's fully dry afterwards (either air drying or very cool hair dryer). Most importantly no picking.

Ginmonkeyagain · 22/05/2023 08:18

How about you start by soaking a soft clean cloth in warm water and gently hold it against his head to loosen up the dried blood.

Once you have done that gently clean the wound area and finally rinse his head in clean warm water.

To be honest he can do some of this himself.

Username84 · 22/05/2023 08:44

Call the ward he was discharged from and ask.

off · 22/05/2023 17:19

How'd it go — was he already bald by the time you and your equipment got there?

Original poster

Sparklfairy · 22/05/2023 17:38

No, but he did insist on having it cut (not shaved) instead of washing it. We took it slow, the stitches were only in a small area on one side (I thought it was more), and two very small areas for drains. It was a number 6 all over and no accidents - the stitches are intact and look like a very skilled hand did them!

It wasn't even that bad tbh. When he texted he made it sound like his hair was full of blood, and I even (jokingly) accused him of washing it since he'd been home as it looked fine. When I looked closer though to find exactly where the stitches were his scalp itself had dried blood on it, so he definitely hasn't 'cheated' and washed it.

He's happy with my wonky cut (never cut anyone's hair before!), and I'm glad it wasn't too bad. I've given him a firm but good natured talking to to leave it the hell alone and let it heal - he really doesn't want to go back so I hope that's incentive enough for him to be sensible Thanks so much for your advice.

OP posts:

off · 22/05/2023 17:40

Sounds like a pretty good outcome! You're clearly a spectacularly good friend, too 😅